February 03, 2010
I'm So Vain, I Probably Think This Blog Is About Me
Here's a question you probably wouldn't expect lil' ol' cyber klutz me to ask: Have you ever looked up your blog's page rank or link popularity? I have to admit, in the early days of my blog I did this quite regularly. You see, I don't have a tracker on my blog. The closest thing I have is the map you see on the sidebar down there; I think it's fun to see where in the world people are coming from to view my blog. But, if you don't leave a comment here, I don't know you've come by other than the red dot that forms on that map, indicating your general location.
Often times, I find that people are linking to me and they've never left a comment on my blog before. So, in the early days, I would look up my links, then I'd give a reciprocal link back and build up my blogroll. This was back in the days when you could get a lot more, up-to-date, specific information about your blog links over at Technorati and before Marketleap started charging fees for their services. I have to admit, I was pretty excited, back in 2006, when my blog was in the top 50,000 blogs for a brief period of time!
I also have to admit that my blogroll got so long, that I really didn't pay it much attention for a while. Couple the huge blogroll with the fall-into-winter therapy marathon that just ended, and I think it's fair to say that my blog (and my dot com site) were a bit neglected for a while.
Well, I decided to go over to Survivors Can Thrive! and do some updating on my dot com site, and I also decided to update some things on the template of this blog. At the same time, just for the heck of it, I decided to look at my page rank for the first time in a long while. I'm not gonna lie to you: I was pretty disappointed to see how far my blog's rank has fallen. I'm a bit worried--to be honest--that it's threatening to fall off the bloggy radar altogether.
I know how fast things change in the cyber world. Folks just stop blogging all the time. Folks change their blogs and start up new ones. I know there are some blogger folks who I've linked to for quite a while who don't have links on their blogs--no blogroll. I knew that I wasn't getting any link popularity from those folks who weren't linking to me (duh! I'm not that much of a cyber klutz). But, what I didn't know until recently is that, when I link to a blog that does not link back to me, it actually "drains" my blog rank, so to speak. Here's an article that explains it. It's pretty complicated, but there were a few things I got that really stood out and that was one of them.
In case you're interested, here are a couple more links that you can use to research your page rank and link popularity for your own blog.
I still don't think I'm going to put a site counter on my blog--that would just make me too crazy. But, maybe I am just vain enough that I don't want to see my blog completely fall off the bloggy radar. So, I have taken some links off my sidebar to blogs who aren't linking to me. If you find that one of these is your blog, please don't take it personally. I will still follow your blog with Google Friend Connect, if you have that feature. I will follow you over at Twitter if you ask me to, invite you to The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, visit your blog and comment there. If you are listed over at BlogCatalog, or Technorati, I will certainly fave you or add you as a friend. Just ask.
Oh, and another thing: I have a lot of links in the Resources section of my dot com site, as well. My dot com site is another story. I do have a tracker over there that comes with the paid-for, monthly web host service. (I try to stay away from it as much as I can, but look at it occasionally.)
In the link department, I've got some biggies listed there. I've got book titles linked to Amazon, and I've got websites like the Sidran and EMDR institutes, ChildHelp USA and so on. These big agencies have never linked to me, so I guess that's why my dot com site has never ranked high. I'm not so concerned about that; I just want it to be available to anyone who wants to use it as a resource. And if you have anything that you think would be helpful to link as a resource under my pages of Books, Survivor Support, Advocacy & Abuse Prevention, Treatment & Research, or Survivor Issues, let me know and I'll look into adding you there.
But, here at my blog is where I run The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse every month. So many of us have been involved in this important awareness-raising carnival since 2006 and I want it to stay as visible as possible. So, please don't chalk it up to vanity that I'm looking at my page rank and making some adjustments. And, please do let me know if you get a link up to me and I'll be happy to reciprocate, as usual. And one last thing: If you see that you don't have a link on my sidebar and you don't know why, don't be shy; ask me about it. I may have had a dissociative or plain ol' spacey moment and it might just be an oversight.
Often times, I find that people are linking to me and they've never left a comment on my blog before. So, in the early days, I would look up my links, then I'd give a reciprocal link back and build up my blogroll. This was back in the days when you could get a lot more, up-to-date, specific information about your blog links over at Technorati and before Marketleap started charging fees for their services. I have to admit, I was pretty excited, back in 2006, when my blog was in the top 50,000 blogs for a brief period of time!
I also have to admit that my blogroll got so long, that I really didn't pay it much attention for a while. Couple the huge blogroll with the fall-into-winter therapy marathon that just ended, and I think it's fair to say that my blog (and my dot com site) were a bit neglected for a while.
Well, I decided to go over to Survivors Can Thrive! and do some updating on my dot com site, and I also decided to update some things on the template of this blog. At the same time, just for the heck of it, I decided to look at my page rank for the first time in a long while. I'm not gonna lie to you: I was pretty disappointed to see how far my blog's rank has fallen. I'm a bit worried--to be honest--that it's threatening to fall off the bloggy radar altogether.
I know how fast things change in the cyber world. Folks just stop blogging all the time. Folks change their blogs and start up new ones. I know there are some blogger folks who I've linked to for quite a while who don't have links on their blogs--no blogroll. I knew that I wasn't getting any link popularity from those folks who weren't linking to me (duh! I'm not that much of a cyber klutz). But, what I didn't know until recently is that, when I link to a blog that does not link back to me, it actually "drains" my blog rank, so to speak. Here's an article that explains it. It's pretty complicated, but there were a few things I got that really stood out and that was one of them.
In case you're interested, here are a couple more links that you can use to research your page rank and link popularity for your own blog.
I still don't think I'm going to put a site counter on my blog--that would just make me too crazy. But, maybe I am just vain enough that I don't want to see my blog completely fall off the bloggy radar. So, I have taken some links off my sidebar to blogs who aren't linking to me. If you find that one of these is your blog, please don't take it personally. I will still follow your blog with Google Friend Connect, if you have that feature. I will follow you over at Twitter if you ask me to, invite you to The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, visit your blog and comment there. If you are listed over at BlogCatalog, or Technorati, I will certainly fave you or add you as a friend. Just ask.
Oh, and another thing: I have a lot of links in the Resources section of my dot com site, as well. My dot com site is another story. I do have a tracker over there that comes with the paid-for, monthly web host service. (I try to stay away from it as much as I can, but look at it occasionally.)
In the link department, I've got some biggies listed there. I've got book titles linked to Amazon, and I've got websites like the Sidran and EMDR institutes, ChildHelp USA and so on. These big agencies have never linked to me, so I guess that's why my dot com site has never ranked high. I'm not so concerned about that; I just want it to be available to anyone who wants to use it as a resource. And if you have anything that you think would be helpful to link as a resource under my pages of Books, Survivor Support, Advocacy & Abuse Prevention, Treatment & Research, or Survivor Issues, let me know and I'll look into adding you there.
But, here at my blog is where I run The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse every month. So many of us have been involved in this important awareness-raising carnival since 2006 and I want it to stay as visible as possible. So, please don't chalk it up to vanity that I'm looking at my page rank and making some adjustments. And, please do let me know if you get a link up to me and I'll be happy to reciprocate, as usual. And one last thing: If you see that you don't have a link on my sidebar and you don't know why, don't be shy; ask me about it. I may have had a dissociative or plain ol' spacey moment and it might just be an oversight.
Labels: advocacy, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, child abuse prevention, community, links
December 21, 2009
Holiday Survival Tips for Survivors
Hi, everybody! Well, I can't tell you all how much I enjoyed our pre-holiday interchange with the
"gift of gratitude" I put up on the post below. Wow! What a wonderful, supportive group we have here. :)
Now, I'm getting ready to organize a little quick "mini carnival" for The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for December. I don't have any new hosts lined up and I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle a full carnival edition myself. But, then I started seeing some great posts out in the blogosphere that had lists of tips for holiday survival for us survivors. So, on Wednesday--December 23--I'm going to link to some of these holiday tip lists.
So far, I've found very useful lists at the blogs of Colleen, Patricia, Amy, Clueless and Dr. Deb. I also hope to get permission to use the lists from bloggers who are new to me: Healing Stream and Grace Davis.
Nobody has to bother with the Blog Carnival submission form this time. Just let me know if you'd rather NOT have your list included in our mini carnival. And if anyone has other lists they know of out there, please let me know ASAP by leaving a comment. Oh yeah. And if you've already submitted a post that is not a holiday tips list, don't worry. I will save all the other submitted posts for the January carnival. Thanks!
"gift of gratitude" I put up on the post below. Wow! What a wonderful, supportive group we have here. :)
Now, I'm getting ready to organize a little quick "mini carnival" for The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for December. I don't have any new hosts lined up and I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle a full carnival edition myself. But, then I started seeing some great posts out in the blogosphere that had lists of tips for holiday survival for us survivors. So, on Wednesday--December 23--I'm going to link to some of these holiday tip lists.
So far, I've found very useful lists at the blogs of Colleen, Patricia, Amy, Clueless and Dr. Deb. I also hope to get permission to use the lists from bloggers who are new to me: Healing Stream and Grace Davis.
Nobody has to bother with the Blog Carnival submission form this time. Just let me know if you'd rather NOT have your list included in our mini carnival. And if anyone has other lists they know of out there, please let me know ASAP by leaving a comment. Oh yeah. And if you've already submitted a post that is not a holiday tips list, don't worry. I will save all the other submitted posts for the January carnival. Thanks!
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, community, healing, holidays, links, self-care
April 16, 2009
It's Blog Reader Appreciation Day!
Did you know? Today is Blog Reader Appreciation Day! Hurray! I am finding out about all sorts of blogging "days" to celebrate, now that I'm involved with Bloggers Unite. I encourage you to join; it is uplifting.
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.
On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
- I don't think Marcella at Abyss2Hope has a #1 aim of finding friends. But she is definitely not interested in self-aggrandizement--she's too busy making advocacy for rape and sexual assault survivors her big priority. But I just met Marcella IRL and so enjoyed it! I now consider her a bloggy friend AND and IRL friend!
- I met Buffalopine through Twitter. She is such an inspiration! She is also very free with her kind words of support, especially through her thoughtful e-mails and Tweets. I'm glad I'm getting to know this new friend!
- Check out Catatonic Kid's blog. She is a writer extraordinaire! I can hardly believe the lyrical quality of her writing sometimes. She's also an excellent human being. I can't remember who's blog I found her on, but she's another one I'm really enjoying getting to know better through blogging AND Twitter.
- Not only is Mike, from Child Abuse Survivor, not self-aggrandizing, he is a true friend to survivors. He is hosting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for the second time, tomorrow. He's also started the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network (see link below). He's a true friend that can always be counted upon.
- Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet is on a little bloggy break right now. I can see why she needs the rest. She runs a "blog carnival" on her blog just about every week. I've never seen any blogger who is so tireless at their willingness to support and promote other blogs. If you like "linky love," check out her blog!
- I'm glad I've gotten to know Grace, of Grace Uncensored, through The Child Abuse Survivor ning Network. She is also taking a bit of a bloggy break, but I get lots of supportive and friendly advice from her over at Polyvore, where we are part of an Adult Survivors group doing healing collage as art therapy.
- Rainbow, over at Haunted House, is another new bloggy friend of mine. I really enjoyed getting to know her through her event: Child Abuse Awareness Day over at Bloggers Unite. She's supporting the event I'm plugging over there, too: The Run and Rally to Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse.
- Just Be Real started visiting my blog recently, then I started to see her over at the Child Abuse Survivor ning site. She often leaves comments on my blog that include the words "bless you" or "blessings." You know, she's the type of person who, when she offers these kinds words, really does make me feel blessed! Thanks, Just Be Real!
- I'm only supposed to pick eight, and this blogger has already been tagged by this meme, but I just have to include Tamara at Desire to Heal. She was quite supportive and kind to me over at the CAS ning recently when I was really struggling with the Easter holiday. I love ya, Tamara!
Labels: advocacy, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, child abuse prevention, collage, community, gratitude, links, love, network, Twitter
March 05, 2009
Lucky You: You Can Be a Part of our March Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse
Let's see...a week from Friday is Friday the 13th. Tuesday, March 17 is St. Patrick's Day, when we celebrate the luck of the Irish. So, whether you believe in good luck, bad luck, making your own luck, or no luck at all, join us for the March 13 Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.
Our host this month is RR--Rising Rainbow-- over at My Clouds, My Storms, and Multiple Personality Disorder. When she realized that the carnival would fall on Friday the 13th, she had this to say:
"The theme of this carnival will be 'telling the secret'...I guess my reasoning behind this theme had to do with the Friday the 13th date of the carnival. With the superstitious nature of the date, it reminded me of all of the messages there are around "telling" in the first place. From there it was an easy leap for me to 'let's talk about telling the secret.'"
Of course, you do not have to submit a blog post that follows the theme of this edition at all. As usual, we will have our regular categories of Advocacy & Awareness, Aftermath, Healing & Therapy, In The News, Poetry and Survivor Stories. We welcome all survivors, supporters and advocates of child abuse awareness and prevention--whether first-time contributors or regulars. And don't forget: You can always nominate a blogger you admire and their post that has a child abuse topic. Submissions are due by Wednesday, March 11. If you want to submit a post to this carnival you can use the submission form here. Please note: Something is wrong over at Blog Carnival dot com. When you first go to the submission form, it looks blank. Just scroll down and you'll eventually see the fields to fill in.
Action--->Please leave me a comment if you have already submitted or plan to submit to this carnival edition. That way, I won't come to your blog or e-mail you and bug you to submit something. ;) Thanks!
Thanks for your contributions and support of our carnival which is going into its 22nd edition. And thanks to RR--she's going to be a fantastic host. I just feel lucky about that! *wink*
Our host this month is RR--Rising Rainbow-- over at My Clouds, My Storms, and Multiple Personality Disorder. When she realized that the carnival would fall on Friday the 13th, she had this to say:
"The theme of this carnival will be 'telling the secret'...I guess my reasoning behind this theme had to do with the Friday the 13th date of the carnival. With the superstitious nature of the date, it reminded me of all of the messages there are around "telling" in the first place. From there it was an easy leap for me to 'let's talk about telling the secret.'"
Of course, you do not have to submit a blog post that follows the theme of this edition at all. As usual, we will have our regular categories of Advocacy & Awareness, Aftermath, Healing & Therapy, In The News, Poetry and Survivor Stories. We welcome all survivors, supporters and advocates of child abuse awareness and prevention--whether first-time contributors or regulars. And don't forget: You can always nominate a blogger you admire and their post that has a child abuse topic. Submissions are due by Wednesday, March 11. If you want to submit a post to this carnival you can use the submission form here. Please note: Something is wrong over at Blog Carnival dot com. When you first go to the submission form, it looks blank. Just scroll down and you'll eventually see the fields to fill in.
Action--->Please leave me a comment if you have already submitted or plan to submit to this carnival edition. That way, I won't come to your blog or e-mail you and bug you to submit something. ;) Thanks!
Thanks for your contributions and support of our carnival which is going into its 22nd edition. And thanks to RR--she's going to be a fantastic host. I just feel lucky about that! *wink*
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, child abuse, child abuse prevention, healing, links, survivors, therapy
March 01, 2009
SIAD--Self-Injury Awareness Day
Today is March 1st and it's Self-Injury Awareness Day (SIAD).
Trigger Warning: Please be careful when reading this post. Self-injury topics can be very triggering and/or re-traumatizing for self-harmers, abuse survivors or not.
I notice that I haven't written about self-injury for a while. I used to be active in some self-injury forums, and I haven't visited them for a while either.
I have to be honest: I thought I had self-injury licked. I felt so good about the accomplishment when I wrote about my past personal experiences with self-injury on the "Strange Trip" page of the "My Story" section of my website, Survivors Can Thrive! I went for a couple of years, at least, without harming myself. This was during the period of time when I was getting a lot of trauma processing done with a therapist who's an expert in traumatic stress. Then the dissociative sh*t hit the fan, I got a new therapist, I discovered "splintering" from my dissociative disorder, and...I noticed self-injury creeping back into my life.
Since I have never cut, I think it took me a long time to be honest with myself that I was still a self-injurer. But, self-injury can take many forms. For me, it is usually scratching. I thought I knew why I did it and wrote about that on my dot com site and also on a March 1 post back in 2006 here.
But, since I've been more aware of my dissociative "episodes," I notice that there seem to be some times when I self injure as a way of self-punishment of some sort. In addition to the scratching, I sometimes bang myself in the head with the heal of my hand. This is usually accompanied by some verbally self-abusive statements such as, "I am so stupid!" or "I'm an idiot!" It makes me so angry now--thinking about it--that I identified with my abusive father and repeat the same insults that he used to rain down on me as a child. They are almost word-for-word, for crying out loud! Aaaacckkkk!
I feel very ashamed after I indulge in any self-injury behaviors. I still feel shame admitting these things now. It feels like a failing, when I've been so determined to break the cycle of abuse. I've been successful at doing this with my own precious child, but I don't consistently offer the same unconditional love to myself.
Well, as I find myself saying, again and again, awareness is the key to change. So, let's all do our part to raise awareness about self-injury, today and beyond. Here are a few links to other bloggers who are also raising awareness on this SIAD day:
Also, you can find some self-injury support, forums and other resources on my "Survivor Issues" page of my dot com site, which I just updated at the beginning of January. If you are dealing with self-injury, please know that you are not alone. So, please, don't try to go it alone. There is help and there is support. I'm glad that SIAD--Self-Injury Awareness Day--helped me gain awareness on a survivor issue that I need to work on some more with my therapist. And I'm grateful to be reminded again that I am not alone in this struggle.
Trigger Warning: Please be careful when reading this post. Self-injury topics can be very triggering and/or re-traumatizing for self-harmers, abuse survivors or not.
I notice that I haven't written about self-injury for a while. I used to be active in some self-injury forums, and I haven't visited them for a while either.
I have to be honest: I thought I had self-injury licked. I felt so good about the accomplishment when I wrote about my past personal experiences with self-injury on the "Strange Trip" page of the "My Story" section of my website, Survivors Can Thrive! I went for a couple of years, at least, without harming myself. This was during the period of time when I was getting a lot of trauma processing done with a therapist who's an expert in traumatic stress. Then the dissociative sh*t hit the fan, I got a new therapist, I discovered "splintering" from my dissociative disorder, and...I noticed self-injury creeping back into my life.
Since I have never cut, I think it took me a long time to be honest with myself that I was still a self-injurer. But, self-injury can take many forms. For me, it is usually scratching. I thought I knew why I did it and wrote about that on my dot com site and also on a March 1 post back in 2006 here.
But, since I've been more aware of my dissociative "episodes," I notice that there seem to be some times when I self injure as a way of self-punishment of some sort. In addition to the scratching, I sometimes bang myself in the head with the heal of my hand. This is usually accompanied by some verbally self-abusive statements such as, "I am so stupid!" or "I'm an idiot!" It makes me so angry now--thinking about it--that I identified with my abusive father and repeat the same insults that he used to rain down on me as a child. They are almost word-for-word, for crying out loud! Aaaacckkkk!
I feel very ashamed after I indulge in any self-injury behaviors. I still feel shame admitting these things now. It feels like a failing, when I've been so determined to break the cycle of abuse. I've been successful at doing this with my own precious child, but I don't consistently offer the same unconditional love to myself.
Well, as I find myself saying, again and again, awareness is the key to change. So, let's all do our part to raise awareness about self-injury, today and beyond. Here are a few links to other bloggers who are also raising awareness on this SIAD day:
Also, you can find some self-injury support, forums and other resources on my "Survivor Issues" page of my dot com site, which I just updated at the beginning of January. If you are dealing with self-injury, please know that you are not alone. So, please, don't try to go it alone. There is help and there is support. I'm glad that SIAD--Self-Injury Awareness Day--helped me gain awareness on a survivor issue that I need to work on some more with my therapist. And I'm grateful to be reminded again that I am not alone in this struggle.
Labels: aftermath, breaking the cycle, chid abuse, childhood sexual abuse, dissociation, links, part activity, self-injury, self-love, triggers
February 06, 2009
Our Blog Carnival Turns 21, Sort Of
Nancy, over at Heal & Forgive, tipped me off that this February installment is the 21st edition of our BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE! Holy cow, already? It seems hard to believe. I started this blog carnival back in June of 2006. Now, our most recent edition is up at Nancy's blog here. Nancy's a new host for our carnival. It's the first time in a while that we've had a new host and I'm excited about it.
This is an excellent carnival. It's got lots of new participants, links to 18 posts and a big concentration of articles in the Healing & Therapy category. We survivors are working hard at healing aren't we? Yay for us!
Please take a spin over at the carnival and leave supportive messages for the participants at their blogs, won't you? And, if you've participated in our carnival before, please consider hosting an edition. I'm looking for new hosts and...the next one could be YOU! Thanks for the support--you wonderful child abuse survivor community.
This is an excellent carnival. It's got lots of new participants, links to 18 posts and a big concentration of articles in the Healing & Therapy category. We survivors are working hard at healing aren't we? Yay for us!
Please take a spin over at the carnival and leave supportive messages for the participants at their blogs, won't you? And, if you've participated in our carnival before, please consider hosting an edition. I'm looking for new hosts and...the next one could be YOU! Thanks for the support--you wonderful child abuse survivor community.
Labels: abuse, advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, child abuse, dissociation, healing, links, recovery, support, survivors, therapy, trauma
January 17, 2009
Housekeeping Heartburn
I guess I'm just a technology dinosaur. I think I've referred to myself as a "cyber klutz" before as well. Maybe this is one of the reasons why I let things get so old and out of date on my dot com site as well as this here blog: When I set aside the time to update, I end up really frustrated!
Today, I discovered that I could switch from Blogger's old "template" format on my blog to the newer "layout" format. I finally found a way to display my archives the way I want. I didn't like having every month from the beginning of my blog--2005!--displayed, tumbling all the way down on my sidebar. I can also direct readers to various posts by category/label; I like that. I also can now do a little font and color formatting that I couldn't do before. Oh, and I really like the new "following/follower" widget thingy. These are the things I gain with the switch.
Unfortunately, I don't think these things are worth what I lost: All the awards I've ever received, the Cluster Maps graphic (which is the only thing close to site meter statistics I've ever used) and the widgets for The Child Abuse Survivor Network and for the Blog Carnival. (This last one is very imporant to me.)
Does anybody have some advice for this cyber klutz? Maybe I'm just missing something that's so obvious to other bloggers out there who are more savvy than I am.
Today, I discovered that I could switch from Blogger's old "template" format on my blog to the newer "layout" format. I finally found a way to display my archives the way I want. I didn't like having every month from the beginning of my blog--2005!--displayed, tumbling all the way down on my sidebar. I can also direct readers to various posts by category/label; I like that. I also can now do a little font and color formatting that I couldn't do before. Oh, and I really like the new "following/follower" widget thingy. These are the things I gain with the switch.
Unfortunately, I don't think these things are worth what I lost: All the awards I've ever received, the Cluster Maps graphic (which is the only thing close to site meter statistics I've ever used) and the widgets for The Child Abuse Survivor Network and for the Blog Carnival. (This last one is very imporant to me.)
Does anybody have some advice for this cyber klutz? Maybe I'm just missing something that's so obvious to other bloggers out there who are more savvy than I am.
Labels: award, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, links
April 18, 2008
April Showers and Blog Carnival Power
Beauty has the April edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse up now at her blog, Beautiful Dreamer. It's a fabulous edition...and LARGE! I think there are 25 entries linked there. I bet Beauty didn't realize she'd be wrestling with such a big edition when she agreed to host for April. But, she's done a wonderful job. I'm going over there right now to visit some of the courageous survivor and survivor advocate bloggers joining us this month. I'll leave comments when I visit, too. Won't you join me?
Labels: advocacy, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, courage, links, survivors
February 05, 2008
Spread the Love at the February Blog Carnival
I swear, I'm going to put up a post called, "Meme Madness." In it, I will update the "linky love" I've been trying to keep up on and spread for those bloggers playing my Survivor Needs & Wants meme. Then, I'll try to make sure I put up my own lists for the memes I've been tagged with lately.
Right now, however, I've got to let you all know what's going on with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I've decided just to take February myself. Since February is Valentine's Day month here in the US, let's do a "love theme" for this edition. Submit posts about learning to love and trust again after abuse, loving and forgiving yourself, loving your inner child or alter parts, etc. Let's spread the love, y'all!
I've set the submission deadline as Wednesday, Feb 13 for a Friday, Feb 15 edition post. You can submit here.
Now, as for future hosts, I'm a little mixed up. Me, mixed up? Never, right? I know I had several would-be first-time hosts who told me they wanted to wait until spring to be in charge of an edition. One blogger, unfortunately, had to pull her blog down. I'm pretty sure Enola and S'onnie told me they were looking at the possibility of hosting in March. Mike, at Child Abuse Survivor said he'd be willing to host again anytime. Then, I think April at Thriver's Toolbox told me she may be able to host in the not-too-distant future, but I can't remember when.
I know I'm forgetting at least a couple of people who showed interest. I'd like to give the first-time carnival hosts a chance before we go back again to repeat hosties. If you're interested, would you please comment here and let me know a possible month you may be able to host? I'd like to get a host list compiled to get us through to at least June. Thanks. I'd sure appreciate it.
Right now, however, I've got to let you all know what's going on with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I've decided just to take February myself. Since February is Valentine's Day month here in the US, let's do a "love theme" for this edition. Submit posts about learning to love and trust again after abuse, loving and forgiving yourself, loving your inner child or alter parts, etc. Let's spread the love, y'all!
I've set the submission deadline as Wednesday, Feb 13 for a Friday, Feb 15 edition post. You can submit here.
Now, as for future hosts, I'm a little mixed up. Me, mixed up? Never, right? I know I had several would-be first-time hosts who told me they wanted to wait until spring to be in charge of an edition. One blogger, unfortunately, had to pull her blog down. I'm pretty sure Enola and S'onnie told me they were looking at the possibility of hosting in March. Mike, at Child Abuse Survivor said he'd be willing to host again anytime. Then, I think April at Thriver's Toolbox told me she may be able to host in the not-too-distant future, but I can't remember when.
I know I'm forgetting at least a couple of people who showed interest. I'd like to give the first-time carnival hosts a chance before we go back again to repeat hosties. If you're interested, would you please comment here and let me know a possible month you may be able to host? I'd like to get a host list compiled to get us through to at least June. Thanks. I'd sure appreciate it.
Labels: Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, inner child, links, love, meme, parts, survivor, survivor needs, trust
April 30, 2007
Thinking Blogger, Thankful Blogger
Well, I meant to get this post up a few days ago but got triggered into yet another major dissociative meltdown and everything just gets put on hold when that happens.
I want to tell you, however, how you thoughtful, validating bloggers helped me turn a negative into a positive. As some of you may know, I had a blogger come on to my blog and start commenting to me and other readers in a way that left me feeling attacked and invalidated. I told the blogger that I didn't want my comment section to become a huge debate forum, so I continued the conversation with them via e-mail. The last e-mail I got from them felt downright hateful and cruel to me. This was difficult timing for me as I was just in the middle of working with my T on devastating feelings of isolation and loneliness...and that feeling that nobody can be trusted.
For a while I felt quite sorry for myself that this blogger with whom I had been acquainted for some time seemed to turn on me. But some of the things they said to me caught my attention. It wasn't anything about parts, abuse, recovery or anything like that. It was technical blog stuff.
This blogger made an accusation that I did, indeed desire an online debate; that I was lying about that. They said that I could have _____ them whenever I wanted if I hadn't wanted a debate. I can't even remember what the term was and the e-mail that contained it was too painful for me to keep, so I quickly deleted it. But, I assume the term had something to do with blocking a reader/commenter.
I've admitted this several times: I am very un-cyber savvy when it comes to anything technical on my blog. I've warned viewers that they have to go to my dot com site: www.survivorscanthrive.com to get any kind of pretty pictures and the like.
It's embarrassing to me that I haven't been able to include pictures on my blog or those neat little buttons or a blogroll, or the Blog Carnival widget, so that readers can easily link and submit to our Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I decided, ENOUGH! Looky, looky, over at the sidebar. I finally figured out how to get the Blog Carnival widget up there, and it's not stretched across the blog posts. Yippeeee!
Do you notice something else new over there? It's a cute little button for The Thinking Blogger Awards. Let me tell you how that came about. In addition to my new found determination to get more technical-savvy on this blog, I decided my link updates were way overdue as well. Weeks ago, my friend Keepers e-mailed me to tell me that she had nominated me for a Thinking Blogger Award. I thought that was way cool and I wanted to put up a post thanking her for it, but was embarrassed that I didn't even have an updated link to her on the sidebar.
Then, I found out that somebody else that I had a faulty, old link up to--Beautiful Dreamer--had also nominated me for the Thinking Blogger award. Wow! I'm really starting to feel the love now...and the appreciation and validation. *warm fuzzy*
So, I decided to get up off my butt and update those links. I also like to provide reciprocal links to blogger folks. Now, I don't have any kind of tracker on my blog. So, if you don't leave a comment, I don't know that you've visited here. I am savvy enough, however to know how to use Who Links To Me and Technorati. Yeah, it's embarrassing: I couldn't get the Technorati button to show up on my template either...but now that could change! ;) So anyway, I went to Technorati to see who had recently linked to me and see if I thought they were a good reciprocal link fit.
Guess what? I found another blogger, Feminist Nation, who had also nominated me for The Thinking Blogger award! Wow! Just when I was starting to think that I was, indeed pathetic, that nobody got anything helpful from my blog, and that there really was no meaning whatever for my abuse, I see that I stand corrected. Thanks, guys! I really needed that.
Since The Thinking Blogger Award is actually a meme (yes, I even know what that means) I will tag some thinking bloggers I appreciate and that will be my next post. For now, go check out all the new links on the sidebar and give these bloggers a good look-see.
I want to tell you, however, how you thoughtful, validating bloggers helped me turn a negative into a positive. As some of you may know, I had a blogger come on to my blog and start commenting to me and other readers in a way that left me feeling attacked and invalidated. I told the blogger that I didn't want my comment section to become a huge debate forum, so I continued the conversation with them via e-mail. The last e-mail I got from them felt downright hateful and cruel to me. This was difficult timing for me as I was just in the middle of working with my T on devastating feelings of isolation and loneliness...and that feeling that nobody can be trusted.
For a while I felt quite sorry for myself that this blogger with whom I had been acquainted for some time seemed to turn on me. But some of the things they said to me caught my attention. It wasn't anything about parts, abuse, recovery or anything like that. It was technical blog stuff.
This blogger made an accusation that I did, indeed desire an online debate; that I was lying about that. They said that I could have _____ them whenever I wanted if I hadn't wanted a debate. I can't even remember what the term was and the e-mail that contained it was too painful for me to keep, so I quickly deleted it. But, I assume the term had something to do with blocking a reader/commenter.
I've admitted this several times: I am very un-cyber savvy when it comes to anything technical on my blog. I've warned viewers that they have to go to my dot com site: www.survivorscanthrive.com to get any kind of pretty pictures and the like.
It's embarrassing to me that I haven't been able to include pictures on my blog or those neat little buttons or a blogroll, or the Blog Carnival widget, so that readers can easily link and submit to our Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I decided, ENOUGH! Looky, looky, over at the sidebar. I finally figured out how to get the Blog Carnival widget up there, and it's not stretched across the blog posts. Yippeeee!
Do you notice something else new over there? It's a cute little button for The Thinking Blogger Awards. Let me tell you how that came about. In addition to my new found determination to get more technical-savvy on this blog, I decided my link updates were way overdue as well. Weeks ago, my friend Keepers e-mailed me to tell me that she had nominated me for a Thinking Blogger Award. I thought that was way cool and I wanted to put up a post thanking her for it, but was embarrassed that I didn't even have an updated link to her on the sidebar.
Then, I found out that somebody else that I had a faulty, old link up to--Beautiful Dreamer--had also nominated me for the Thinking Blogger award. Wow! I'm really starting to feel the love now...and the appreciation and validation. *warm fuzzy*
So, I decided to get up off my butt and update those links. I also like to provide reciprocal links to blogger folks. Now, I don't have any kind of tracker on my blog. So, if you don't leave a comment, I don't know that you've visited here. I am savvy enough, however to know how to use Who Links To Me and Technorati. Yeah, it's embarrassing: I couldn't get the Technorati button to show up on my template either...but now that could change! ;) So anyway, I went to Technorati to see who had recently linked to me and see if I thought they were a good reciprocal link fit.
Guess what? I found another blogger, Feminist Nation, who had also nominated me for The Thinking Blogger award! Wow! Just when I was starting to think that I was, indeed pathetic, that nobody got anything helpful from my blog, and that there really was no meaning whatever for my abuse, I see that I stand corrected. Thanks, guys! I really needed that.
Since The Thinking Blogger Award is actually a meme (yes, I even know what that means) I will tag some thinking bloggers I appreciate and that will be my next post. For now, go check out all the new links on the sidebar and give these bloggers a good look-see.
Labels: links, support, Thinking Blogger, validation
April 25, 2007
Overdue Links: Or, Patience is a Virtue, but This is Ridiculous!
I'm working on some very old business of fixing broken links here and adding new ones. Note the "NEW" signs on the bloggroll at left. I'm up to the "K's." I finally have a current blog url for Keepers Korner, yay! I want to take care of some other old business that relates to my dear friend Keepers, and I'll get to that by the end of this week.
Someone who's been amazingly patient is Megan over at Child Protection: Serious Business. She's been waiting since the end of February. Good grief! (Hhmmmm...is grief good? Well that's really a good thing, because I've been dealing with a lot of it lately!) If we're still on, Megan's going to host the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse in May. If you're wondering if she can handle a blog carnival, go check out her recent post: The Carnival of Australia. Great organizing, Megan! Yeah, I have faith that she can handle it.
I want to tell you how I finally got off my butt to get motivated to update things here. That will be my next post. See ya soon! :)
Someone who's been amazingly patient is Megan over at Child Protection: Serious Business. She's been waiting since the end of February. Good grief! (Hhmmmm...is grief good? Well that's really a good thing, because I've been dealing with a lot of it lately!) If we're still on, Megan's going to host the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse in May. If you're wondering if she can handle a blog carnival, go check out her recent post: The Carnival of Australia. Great organizing, Megan! Yeah, I have faith that she can handle it.
I want to tell you how I finally got off my butt to get motivated to update things here. That will be my next post. See ya soon! :)
Labels: blog carnivals, child protection, links
June 19, 2006
The Debut Of Our Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse--Here Are All The Links
The response I received to my request for submissions to the first-ever Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse was much stronger than I ever could have hoped for or anticipated. Thanks to all 26 participants who had the courage to get involved in order to raise awareness on this critical issue. Please visit these brave bloggers using the links below and leave comments with your support.
Survivor Stories
I'll get the ball rolling with the post of my own survivor story. I am a survivor of child sexual, verbal, physical and spiritual abuse. Please use caution when reading any of these carnival posts. Child abuse is a volatile subject. Destroying the innocent trust of a child is a heinous act. Any and all of these accounts are potentially disturbing. Here is the post that contains part of my survivor story from Survivors Can Thrive!
Mysti was raped at the age of 16. She talks about how she built a wall of protection around herself after that pivotal event. Mysti's story is at her blog called "Season For Angels."
The blogger, Wanda's Wings, posts "before" and "after" photographs of herself. She notes that she could not find one photo of herself where she is smiling during the time of her abuse. Her post is called, "Changed Forever."
Poetry
Fallen Angels of the blog, "Safe Place Dissociative Dialogue," has written a poem. In the poem, the question is asked that may be a common question among survivors who dissociate. The question is, "What happened to me to make me unreal?" The title of the poem is also a question and is called, "Who Am I?"
Jumping In Puddles, of the "Life Spacings" blog also writes poetry that is related to dissociation. The poem that's been posted talks about seeing "pieces of me." The poem is called, "When I Look In The Mirror."
Whitedove is a prolific poet. You will find many poems on her blog. She has submitted one that talks about the day "it all started." Her poem is called, "Touched."
Patty writes a blog called, "Daughter Protecting Daughters." A poem she wrote talks about the marks of molestation and the triggers that follow. The poem is entitled, "My Marks From Your Fornication." When submitting this poem for the carnival, Patty remarked, "Victims of sexual abuse get LIFE with NO justice and molesters get a life with new victims every day, if we don't break the silence!"
In The News
Scarlett Demon posted a news article on her blog, "Carpe Noctem," that made her cry. It was a BBC News article on the statistics about how school children are given no information on sexual abuse with their lessons.
I don't know how I received the next submission or who referred the submitter, but I appreciate the link. It is to an article estimating that 40,000 women and children would be at risk of exploitation through sex trafficking in Germany to support the demand for sex during the World Cup. The article appears in the Atlantic Review.
Healing & Therapy
Al Johnson writes about child abuse and recovery poetry in his blog, "Wrong Words." He posts about a therapy exercise where he writes the un-mailed letter to his abuser. In the letter he speaks of his fear of his father. Al remarked, "My therapist suggested I write a letter to my father, telling him how I felt about his abuse of me. The letter is to help me better get in touch with appropriate feelings about the abuse and the abuser. The letter will not be sent to my father. The exercise is for my sake." Here is Al's "My Letter To My Father."
Survivor, of "Survivor of Rape and Incest," also wrote a therapeutic letter to her father. Her letter is about getting the anger out and realizing that the abuse was not her fault. Here is Survivor's "Letter to My Father."
I thought is was telling that, of our seven posts in the Healing & Therapy category, three bloggers decided to include letters to their abusers. The Conflicted Redhead, of the blog with the same name, was raped at the age of 13. After writing a letter to her rapists, she says, "I have no more secrets that can hurt me." Here is her post entitled, "Write a Letter to Your Rapist."
Austin of Sundrip Journals, who writes the blog, "The People Behind My Eyes," submitted a post that highlights survivor rights and says in the remarks, "I have the right to survive. I have the right to thrive." I couldn't agree more, Austin! Here is the post on "Survivor Rights."
April Optimist writes a blog called "The Thriver's Toolbox" (I love that name!). Her post talks about healing through being aware of our strengths and moments in our lives that are filled with smiles and laughter. Her remarks state, "I'm submitting this blog because I believe that laughter and moments when we smile and being aware of our strengths are all an important part of the healing process." Her post is called, "We Can Choose."
Charlie Callahan's blog, "Used Kitty Litter," will make you laugh and it will make you cry. He writes about the healing effects of a child abuse survivor realizing, "I am good." He says, "The pain doesn't stop until we start to un-believe the lie." It's all in his post, "Childhood Regained."
Hope Forus, of the blog Hope4Survivors, posts the first of a seven-part series on "Identifying Triggers and Phobias."
Aftermath
This category is about what happens to a child (or an adult) after the abuse that occurs during childhood. One common "aftermath" effect is eating disorders. Peggikaye, "Dreaming Again" of the "Pearls And Dreams" blog, has dealt with an eating disorder. When getting help for this, Peggikaye was told that she fit the "profile" for childhood molestation, but it was something that she had discounted. In her remarks she notes that this is, "My first public telling as me." Her post is, "Giving Words To Healing."
Carolyn Lehman, speaker and author of Strong At The Heart: How It Feels To Heal From Sexual Abuse, notes the "aftermath" of disclosure. Survivors can think that people (even other survivors) will think less of them when they disclose about their abuse. It's a cycle of shame and self-blame. Carolyn remarks, "You can never anticipate the aftermath of speaking out. I selected this blog entry because in the comment section there is a moving letter from a mother, describing her daughter's disclosure of childhood rape on the way home from a book event. The discussion with the therapist continues in comments on another post "what came of black oak" which you can find under "events" or "black oak" in the categories bar on the right of the blog. " Make sure you read the comments on Carolyn's blog, because that's where all the "Aftermath" dialogue is taking place on her post, "Black Oak Books."
Mike, of Child Abuse Survivor (dot net) tells us, "Your childhood was decided for you, adulthood doesn't have to be." He makes this statement in his post, "Who Are You?"
WW of "PTSD Today" has given us an article that discusses the research done on childhood abuse and the child's brain. She remarks, "This is an excellent article on the physical changes in the brain that can happen as a result of abuse." The post title is, "Childhood Abuse Changes The Brain."
I have Marcella Chester to thank for turning me on to blog carnivals. I encourage you all to visit the carnival she is hosting: Carnival Against Sexual Violence. On her blog, Abyss2Hope, she's posted about child offenders in, "What's To Blame When Children Sexually Offend?"
Advocacy & Awareness
The website owner for "As Waters Passing By" has a blog of the same name. Her post talks about her experiences while participating in the survivor audio documentary, Voices of Strength.
Dr. Deborah Serani is a psychologist who specialized in trauma and depression. She is also a wonderful child advocate and raises much-needed awareness on the effects of child abuse. This particular blog post from January lists child abuse statistics and safety tips. In her remarks she said, "This post talks about what every parent needs to know about child sexual abuse."
On a similar note, Athena, of "Athena's Mind," urges us to realize that informed kids are less likely to become child sexual abuse victims. It's in her post, "Talk To Your Children About Sex."
Sonnie_Dee of the blog, "Sonnie's Daze," talks about "Disclosing Abuse."
Last but certainly not least, is Moof of "Moof's Tale." She firmly believes that awareness brings healing. This is from her remarks: "Sexual abuse from several different perspectives: 1) Coming forward and speaking out in order to begin the healing 2) Surviving beyond the healing - living down the label of 'victim' 3) The importance of forgiveness in moving forward with healing ." Her insights are here at her post, "The Many Faces of Sexual Abuse."
Survivor Stories
I'll get the ball rolling with the post of my own survivor story. I am a survivor of child sexual, verbal, physical and spiritual abuse. Please use caution when reading any of these carnival posts. Child abuse is a volatile subject. Destroying the innocent trust of a child is a heinous act. Any and all of these accounts are potentially disturbing. Here is the post that contains part of my survivor story from Survivors Can Thrive!
Mysti was raped at the age of 16. She talks about how she built a wall of protection around herself after that pivotal event. Mysti's story is at her blog called "Season For Angels."
The blogger, Wanda's Wings, posts "before" and "after" photographs of herself. She notes that she could not find one photo of herself where she is smiling during the time of her abuse. Her post is called, "Changed Forever."
Poetry
Fallen Angels of the blog, "Safe Place Dissociative Dialogue," has written a poem. In the poem, the question is asked that may be a common question among survivors who dissociate. The question is, "What happened to me to make me unreal?" The title of the poem is also a question and is called, "Who Am I?"
Jumping In Puddles, of the "Life Spacings" blog also writes poetry that is related to dissociation. The poem that's been posted talks about seeing "pieces of me." The poem is called, "When I Look In The Mirror."
Whitedove is a prolific poet. You will find many poems on her blog. She has submitted one that talks about the day "it all started." Her poem is called, "Touched."
Patty writes a blog called, "Daughter Protecting Daughters." A poem she wrote talks about the marks of molestation and the triggers that follow. The poem is entitled, "My Marks From Your Fornication." When submitting this poem for the carnival, Patty remarked, "Victims of sexual abuse get LIFE with NO justice and molesters get a life with new victims every day, if we don't break the silence!"
In The News
Scarlett Demon posted a news article on her blog, "Carpe Noctem," that made her cry. It was a BBC News article on the statistics about how school children are given no information on sexual abuse with their lessons.
I don't know how I received the next submission or who referred the submitter, but I appreciate the link. It is to an article estimating that 40,000 women and children would be at risk of exploitation through sex trafficking in Germany to support the demand for sex during the World Cup. The article appears in the Atlantic Review.
Healing & Therapy
Al Johnson writes about child abuse and recovery poetry in his blog, "Wrong Words." He posts about a therapy exercise where he writes the un-mailed letter to his abuser. In the letter he speaks of his fear of his father. Al remarked, "My therapist suggested I write a letter to my father, telling him how I felt about his abuse of me. The letter is to help me better get in touch with appropriate feelings about the abuse and the abuser. The letter will not be sent to my father. The exercise is for my sake." Here is Al's "My Letter To My Father."
Survivor, of "Survivor of Rape and Incest," also wrote a therapeutic letter to her father. Her letter is about getting the anger out and realizing that the abuse was not her fault. Here is Survivor's "Letter to My Father."
I thought is was telling that, of our seven posts in the Healing & Therapy category, three bloggers decided to include letters to their abusers. The Conflicted Redhead, of the blog with the same name, was raped at the age of 13. After writing a letter to her rapists, she says, "I have no more secrets that can hurt me." Here is her post entitled, "Write a Letter to Your Rapist."
Austin of Sundrip Journals, who writes the blog, "The People Behind My Eyes," submitted a post that highlights survivor rights and says in the remarks, "I have the right to survive. I have the right to thrive." I couldn't agree more, Austin! Here is the post on "Survivor Rights."
April Optimist writes a blog called "The Thriver's Toolbox" (I love that name!). Her post talks about healing through being aware of our strengths and moments in our lives that are filled with smiles and laughter. Her remarks state, "I'm submitting this blog because I believe that laughter and moments when we smile and being aware of our strengths are all an important part of the healing process." Her post is called, "We Can Choose."
Charlie Callahan's blog, "Used Kitty Litter," will make you laugh and it will make you cry. He writes about the healing effects of a child abuse survivor realizing, "I am good." He says, "The pain doesn't stop until we start to un-believe the lie." It's all in his post, "Childhood Regained."
Hope Forus, of the blog Hope4Survivors, posts the first of a seven-part series on "Identifying Triggers and Phobias."
Aftermath
This category is about what happens to a child (or an adult) after the abuse that occurs during childhood. One common "aftermath" effect is eating disorders. Peggikaye, "Dreaming Again" of the "Pearls And Dreams" blog, has dealt with an eating disorder. When getting help for this, Peggikaye was told that she fit the "profile" for childhood molestation, but it was something that she had discounted. In her remarks she notes that this is, "My first public telling as me." Her post is, "Giving Words To Healing."
Carolyn Lehman, speaker and author of Strong At The Heart: How It Feels To Heal From Sexual Abuse, notes the "aftermath" of disclosure. Survivors can think that people (even other survivors) will think less of them when they disclose about their abuse. It's a cycle of shame and self-blame. Carolyn remarks, "You can never anticipate the aftermath of speaking out. I selected this blog entry because in the comment section there is a moving letter from a mother, describing her daughter's disclosure of childhood rape on the way home from a book event. The discussion with the therapist continues in comments on another post "what came of black oak" which you can find under "events" or "black oak" in the categories bar on the right of the blog. " Make sure you read the comments on Carolyn's blog, because that's where all the "Aftermath" dialogue is taking place on her post, "Black Oak Books."
Mike, of Child Abuse Survivor (dot net) tells us, "Your childhood was decided for you, adulthood doesn't have to be." He makes this statement in his post, "Who Are You?"
WW of "PTSD Today" has given us an article that discusses the research done on childhood abuse and the child's brain. She remarks, "This is an excellent article on the physical changes in the brain that can happen as a result of abuse." The post title is, "Childhood Abuse Changes The Brain."
I have Marcella Chester to thank for turning me on to blog carnivals. I encourage you all to visit the carnival she is hosting: Carnival Against Sexual Violence. On her blog, Abyss2Hope, she's posted about child offenders in, "What's To Blame When Children Sexually Offend?"
Advocacy & Awareness
The website owner for "As Waters Passing By" has a blog of the same name. Her post talks about her experiences while participating in the survivor audio documentary, Voices of Strength.
Dr. Deborah Serani is a psychologist who specialized in trauma and depression. She is also a wonderful child advocate and raises much-needed awareness on the effects of child abuse. This particular blog post from January lists child abuse statistics and safety tips. In her remarks she said, "This post talks about what every parent needs to know about child sexual abuse."
On a similar note, Athena, of "Athena's Mind," urges us to realize that informed kids are less likely to become child sexual abuse victims. It's in her post, "Talk To Your Children About Sex."
Sonnie_Dee of the blog, "Sonnie's Daze," talks about "Disclosing Abuse."
Last but certainly not least, is Moof of "Moof's Tale." She firmly believes that awareness brings healing. This is from her remarks: "Sexual abuse from several different perspectives: 1) Coming forward and speaking out in order to begin the healing 2) Surviving beyond the healing - living down the label of 'victim' 3) The importance of forgiveness in moving forward with healing ." Her insights are here at her post, "The Many Faces of Sexual Abuse."
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, child abuse, child protection, childhood sexual abuse, healing, links, Poetry, PTSD, survivors, therapy
June 15, 2006
Blog Carnival: A Wild Ride!
Today is Deadline Day for submitting to our blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. The submissions are still streaming in. You have until 11pm EST tonight to get your submission in at www.blogcarnival.com if you still want to be part of the first edition of this carnival. We will be having a second edition (date to be announced--probably some time in July). If your current submission reaches Blog Carnival after the deadline, it will automatically be saved by them (to be forwarded later to me) for the next edition.
I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I am including everyone who submits an appropriate post link. What I mean by appropriate is any blog article, written by you, (or approved by the blog author if nominated by you) that fits the child abuse category. To my mind that means anything that fits into any of the six categories of Survivor Stories, Poetry, In the News, Healing & Therapy, Aftermath, or Advocacy & Awareness about the rape, abuse, molestation, beating, or any other kind of verbal, emotional or spiritual abuse of children under the age of 18. We have gotten a LOT of submissions in the areas of Healing & Therapy and Advocacy and Awareness. We've gotten a fair number in Aftermath and Poetry; not so much on In the News or Survivor Stories. I decided to use an abuse account for my own submission (See below--be careful! Trigger Warning!) so we'll have another survivor story included.
We've got more submissions than I ever dreamed we'd get on the first try! We will probably see at least 20 to 25 post links for the first edition. But, I want to include at least one post from everybody; this is not about politics or any kind of contest. This is about sharing and supporting one another while we raise awareness on this important issue.
However, I feel strongly (from my corporate communications background) that we can't put up too many links in one edition because people have a tendency not to wade through a ton of information to read it all. Therefore, I am definitely organizing a second carnival edition. If you submitted more than once this time, you will see that only one of your submissions will post for the first edition, while the rest will be saved for later editions. I will choose which one of the multiple submissions I'll use this time based on my desire to see a nice variety of posts representing each of the six categories. If you submitted only one post, but were hoping to include more of your wonderful writing, go ahead and send in another post for the subsequent edition(s).
Speaking of subsequent editions, I think I'll take on edition number two, but how 'bout a third..fourth..fifth edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse? Would anyone else be willing to host future editions of our carnival? If so, we could be like the first, "traditional" (yeah, how can anything this new and cutting-edge be traditional, right?) blog carnivals and be a true traveling carnival of blog links. Be thinking about it over the weekend and make sure to check in here on Monday to view our first carnival edition in its entirety.
I will be getting up links on my sidebar here to anyone who is participating in this carnival. That way, visitors can start getting to know your blog before Monday. I will also get around to everyone who submitted and e-mail you with a confirmation of receipt. Whoo Hoo! I'm excited and just feel so honored to be part of such an aware and caring group of bloggers. Thanks to all!
I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I am including everyone who submits an appropriate post link. What I mean by appropriate is any blog article, written by you, (or approved by the blog author if nominated by you) that fits the child abuse category. To my mind that means anything that fits into any of the six categories of Survivor Stories, Poetry, In the News, Healing & Therapy, Aftermath, or Advocacy & Awareness about the rape, abuse, molestation, beating, or any other kind of verbal, emotional or spiritual abuse of children under the age of 18. We have gotten a LOT of submissions in the areas of Healing & Therapy and Advocacy and Awareness. We've gotten a fair number in Aftermath and Poetry; not so much on In the News or Survivor Stories. I decided to use an abuse account for my own submission (See below--be careful! Trigger Warning!) so we'll have another survivor story included.
We've got more submissions than I ever dreamed we'd get on the first try! We will probably see at least 20 to 25 post links for the first edition. But, I want to include at least one post from everybody; this is not about politics or any kind of contest. This is about sharing and supporting one another while we raise awareness on this important issue.
However, I feel strongly (from my corporate communications background) that we can't put up too many links in one edition because people have a tendency not to wade through a ton of information to read it all. Therefore, I am definitely organizing a second carnival edition. If you submitted more than once this time, you will see that only one of your submissions will post for the first edition, while the rest will be saved for later editions. I will choose which one of the multiple submissions I'll use this time based on my desire to see a nice variety of posts representing each of the six categories. If you submitted only one post, but were hoping to include more of your wonderful writing, go ahead and send in another post for the subsequent edition(s).
Speaking of subsequent editions, I think I'll take on edition number two, but how 'bout a third..fourth..fifth edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse? Would anyone else be willing to host future editions of our carnival? If so, we could be like the first, "traditional" (yeah, how can anything this new and cutting-edge be traditional, right?) blog carnivals and be a true traveling carnival of blog links. Be thinking about it over the weekend and make sure to check in here on Monday to view our first carnival edition in its entirety.
I will be getting up links on my sidebar here to anyone who is participating in this carnival. That way, visitors can start getting to know your blog before Monday. I will also get around to everyone who submitted and e-mail you with a confirmation of receipt. Whoo Hoo! I'm excited and just feel so honored to be part of such an aware and caring group of bloggers. Thanks to all!
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, child abuse, healing, links, Poetry, survivors, therapy
June 05, 2006
Carnival Against Child Abuse
I've decided to go for it! I think I've got enough interest between bloggers I've spoken with via e-mail, comments here, etc. to organize my own blog carnival. It will be the "Carnival Against Child Abuse."
Update: I've got the carnival booked! The Carnival Against Child Abuse will post on Monday, June 19, 2006. It will be a carnival to raise awareness on all types of child abuse--physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, spiritual. Nominate one of your own child abuse awareness posts or one of another blogger whose work you like.
Since many of us are new to the world of blog carnivals, here's exactly how you submit to our Carnival Against Child Abuse, in four easy steps:
Update: I've got the carnival booked! The Carnival Against Child Abuse will post on Monday, June 19, 2006. It will be a carnival to raise awareness on all types of child abuse--physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, spiritual. Nominate one of your own child abuse awareness posts or one of another blogger whose work you like.
Since many of us are new to the world of blog carnivals, here's exactly how you submit to our Carnival Against Child Abuse, in four easy steps:
- Decide if you want to participate (or one of your aware blogger friends should) in a blog carnival to raise awareness about child abuse. There will be between 15 to 20 blog posts chosen for the carnival. (If I get an overwhelming response, we'll just have a second edition, no problem.)
- Choose a post you already have from your blog, or write a new one and post it to your blog as usual. It should be able to go under one of the following six categories: Survivor Stories, Poetry, In The News, Healing & Therapy, Aftermath, or Advocacy & Awareness.
- Go to the Blog Carnival website and use the submission form to nominate yourself or someone whose blog you admire. Select "carnival against child abuse" from the drop-down menu. Fill in all required fields. Make sure to use the permalink to your blog post (e.g., http://survivorscanthrive.blogspot.com/2006/05/take-stand-raise-your-hand.html). Select one of the six child abuse awareness categories (as mentioned above) from the drop-down menu. Leave any words of wisdom, remarks or advocacy statements you'd like to have considered for publication on the day of our carnival.
- Visit my blog here (or link to me from the Blog Carnival site) on June 19 to see the chosen blogger posts and remarks, then link to the posts and comment on them so we all support each other.
It's easy and it's cool! This is the first Blog Carnival I've seen for any kind of child abuse, child sexual abuse, etc. So, we're pioneers in this type of awareness! Be the first to be a part of a child abuse awareness blog carnival and submit your blog today. Don't forget, the deadline is June 15 for the Monday, June 19 carnival.
Labels: advocacy, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, healing, links, Poetry, survivors, therapy
June 01, 2006
Carnival Against Sexual Violence
I feel like such a cyber virgin sometimes. My blogger friend, Marcella, has just introduced me to the world of blog carnivals. Check out the Blog Carnival website at www.blogcarnival.com. I had never heard of these before two weeks ago. It's where a bunch of links go up to posts that have the same flavor, cause, etc.
Marcella, who runs the Abyss2Hope blog, has organized the Carnival Against Sexual Violence, which just went up today. My poem post, Take a Stand, Raise Your Hand, is part of this carnival. I'm honored that Marcella wanted me to be a part of this awareness-raising cyber event.
Go to the Abyss2Hope blog to view all the carnival blogs against sexual violence. There are links to some very courageous and informational carnival posts there. They all relate to sexual violence and include personal stories, creative expression, posts about recovery and more. I also urge you to go to Blog Carnival and look around at the various carnivals to browse: here.
I really feel like I'm part of a vital and vibrant community! Don't you?
Hey, what would you think of being part of a blog carnival? I'm thinking of organizing my own this summer. I would want to do an awareness-raising "cause carnival" as well. Maybe a "Carnival to Stop Child Abuse," or "Carnival to Break the Cycle," or "Carnival to End Abuse," or "Carnival to Stop the Silence" would be useful. I'm leaning toward child advocacy in particular. What do you all think?
Marcella, who runs the Abyss2Hope blog, has organized the Carnival Against Sexual Violence, which just went up today. My poem post, Take a Stand, Raise Your Hand, is part of this carnival. I'm honored that Marcella wanted me to be a part of this awareness-raising cyber event.
Go to the Abyss2Hope blog to view all the carnival blogs against sexual violence. There are links to some very courageous and informational carnival posts there. They all relate to sexual violence and include personal stories, creative expression, posts about recovery and more. I also urge you to go to Blog Carnival and look around at the various carnivals to browse: here.
I really feel like I'm part of a vital and vibrant community! Don't you?
Hey, what would you think of being part of a blog carnival? I'm thinking of organizing my own this summer. I would want to do an awareness-raising "cause carnival" as well. Maybe a "Carnival to Stop Child Abuse," or "Carnival to Break the Cycle," or "Carnival to End Abuse," or "Carnival to Stop the Silence" would be useful. I'm leaning toward child advocacy in particular. What do you all think?
Labels: advocacy, awareness, Blog Against Sexual Violence, blog carnivals, child abuse, child abuse prevention, links, poem, Poetry
February 24, 2006
Survivor Links
I've been out of town, but I'm finally including some links on my blog. I kinda hate to bump the "Your Beauty" poem. I'd like every survivor out there to feel those words and believe in her inherent beauty. It's not surprising that a survivor of such an ugly crime as rape, sexual assault or incest can feel that he, himself, is ugly. My hope is that each survivor will regain her belief that she is precious, worthy and beautiful. I've gotten some good feedback on that poem and I appreciate that.
One comment came from survivor. I am very drawn to her blog. Her words move me. She is refreshingly honest and intimate with her readers. Her blog is called "My Story My Shame." I wish she'd lose the "my shame" part. That shame doesn't belong to her. It may have been projected onto her, but it is not hers. I can relate to where she is coming from, however; I felt like I carried the shame of my perpetrators for a very long time. Survivor's blog is one of the first permalinks I've installed.
I also got some helpful support for my poetry from a blogger named Kirk. His blog is the Recovery Vehicle. I found the vehicle to be a very helpful and attractive site. What I like most about Kirk, however, is his courage and his candor. He's got an abundance of both.
The other permanent link I got up right away is for Holly's Fight For Justice. I love this blog! It reminds me that, in this life, people can obtain rightful justice. Holly fought and fought and was able to bring her rapist--a serial rapist--to trial. He was convicted and sentenced to years in prison. Let's all exclaim together: YES!!! The amazing thing about Holly is that she has turned her personal fight into a fight for all who seek justice. She is very aware and provides much information for similar causes, crime victims and justice-seekers everywhere.
The research I'm doing to include additional blog links is a slow one. But, I'm glad to be doing it. The work I've put in to do this research has helped me uncover these wonderful gems. Please be patient while I dig up some more. If you want more links in the meantime, visit my website: www.survivorscanthrive.com. I've got a large resource section with many links there.
One comment came from survivor. I am very drawn to her blog. Her words move me. She is refreshingly honest and intimate with her readers. Her blog is called "My Story My Shame." I wish she'd lose the "my shame" part. That shame doesn't belong to her. It may have been projected onto her, but it is not hers. I can relate to where she is coming from, however; I felt like I carried the shame of my perpetrators for a very long time. Survivor's blog is one of the first permalinks I've installed.
I also got some helpful support for my poetry from a blogger named Kirk. His blog is the Recovery Vehicle. I found the vehicle to be a very helpful and attractive site. What I like most about Kirk, however, is his courage and his candor. He's got an abundance of both.
The other permanent link I got up right away is for Holly's Fight For Justice. I love this blog! It reminds me that, in this life, people can obtain rightful justice. Holly fought and fought and was able to bring her rapist--a serial rapist--to trial. He was convicted and sentenced to years in prison. Let's all exclaim together: YES!!! The amazing thing about Holly is that she has turned her personal fight into a fight for all who seek justice. She is very aware and provides much information for similar causes, crime victims and justice-seekers everywhere.
The research I'm doing to include additional blog links is a slow one. But, I'm glad to be doing it. The work I've put in to do this research has helped me uncover these wonderful gems. Please be patient while I dig up some more. If you want more links in the meantime, visit my website: www.survivorscanthrive.com. I've got a large resource section with many links there.
Labels: advocacy, awareness, community, links, Poetry, rape, sexual violence, survivors
