June 05, 2009
Abuse Survivors Learning to Thrive
No, the headline for this post is NOT one of my slogans for my blog and website, Survivors Can Thrive! But, I sure do love it because it is such a great fit for the message I aspire to in my real life and the awareness-raising blog world in which I circulate.
This is actually a slogan and subhead you will find on the home page of a message board and forum for survivors called isurvive. This forum currently has 829 registered members who have created over 88 thousand posts.
The topics in these posts are excellent and pertinent for survivors and their supporters: artwork and poetry; breaking the cycle; male survivors; sexual abuse; ritual abuse; dependence and much more. The forum is, of course, moderated and has a good safety policy. It looks like a very safe and supportive place.
Before I really got into blogging, the first thing I was involved in was posting on a couple of online forums very similar to isurvive. In fact, this was the first "forum" (pun intended) where I really felt like I could share my feelings and write from the heart, before I got the courage to do it here at my own blog. I found a lot of support and a true feeling that I am not alone--even on a truly international scale.
Because I am so involved in blogging, The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, Twitter and The Child Abuse ning network (see my sidebar for widgets and links to these), I no longer visit the survivor message boards. The volume there is difficult for me to keep up with at this time. Whew, I can barely keep up with Twitter and all its updates are limited to 140 characters!
But, I really want to encourage you to look into isurvive. Right now, they provide a wonderful service and they are struggling financially. I'm blogging about them today as a way to help them raise much-needed funds. A commenter at my blog--My Monster--turned me on to this cause through this post.
I also heard about it from Faith Allen at Blooming Lotus. I follow Faith through the sources I'm involved in that I mentioned above. In this post here, Faith says, "Over the last six years, I have met, supported, and by supported by hundreds, if not thousands, of child abuse survivors at Isurvive. My life is so much richer for having been touched by these very giving people – all people who were once wounded beyond imagination and now have the courage to reach out and help heal others."
Faith also asks that we include the following information: Note to readers — If Isurvive has touched your life, please consider writing about Isurvive on your own blog. If Isurvive gets enough blog entries, the charity could receive a cash award to help further its efforts.
This blog post is part of Zemanta’s “Blogging For a Cause” campaign to raise awareness and funds for worthy causes that bloggers care about.
If you'd like to get involved, please hurry! Tomorrow--June 6th--is the last day for this Blogging for a Cause campaign. Let's help a forum that helps survivors, shall we? I'm glad I did!
Labels: advocacy, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, breaking the cycle, community, network, ning, Poetry, survivor art, survivors, Twitter
April 19, 2009
Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse
Today, starting at 8:00 a.m., Eastern Time, they ran. They ran in Washington D.C. as part of the Race and Rally to Stop The Silence of Child Sexual Abuse. It was the sixth annual event and they're raising more funds and more awareness every year.
Here's a video about the event:
Now, I'm no runner. And--as much as I'd love to see those cherry blossoms this time of year-- I just couldn't get out to D.C. to go to this rally in person (I hope to some day). But, I'm raising awareness here, at the Child Abuse Survivor ning network and on Twitter. And there's still more that you can do TODAY for this event as well.
First off, check out StopCSA's website to learn more about the cause: As Stop CSA says, It's everyone's problem. For instance, did you know?
Here are some more links, stats, and photos and ways to get involved at the StopCSA site:
Please Note: Rainbow from Haunted House and Child Person from the South have already put up blog posts to Stop the Silence. If you post about it, let me know and I'll link to your blog post, too!
Update: Here are a couple more brave bloggers who submitted posts to Stop the Silence: Mom Writes for a Cause and The Filipina Mom in Denmark. Thanks for your contributions!
If child sexual abuse is everyone's problem, then everyone can also be part of the solution!
Here's a video about the event:
Now, I'm no runner. And--as much as I'd love to see those cherry blossoms this time of year-- I just couldn't get out to D.C. to go to this rally in person (I hope to some day). But, I'm raising awareness here, at the Child Abuse Survivor ning network and on Twitter. And there's still more that you can do TODAY for this event as well.
First off, check out StopCSA's website to learn more about the cause: As Stop CSA says, It's everyone's problem. For instance, did you know?
- 73 percent of prostitutes were sexually abused before the age of 16;
- 83 percent of convicted killers (men and women) were physically and emotionally abused as children, and 32.2 percent were sexually abused;
- 60 percent of teenage mothers were sexually abused as children;
- 43 percent of runaways are sexually abused
Here are some more links, stats, and photos and ways to get involved at the StopCSA site:
- For stats and info on mental health-related problems, substance abuse issues and prevalence in the general population click the "The Cause: Child Sexual Abuse" page.
- If you are a survivor of CSA and you want to tell some of your story and share your photo on their web site, please check out StopCSA's "A Call to Action to Survivors" page.
- If you'd like to read an example of what one survivor had to share, go to the "A Survivor Speaks Out" page.
- If you'd like to view a beautiful slide show of survivors click here.
- Click here: to make a secure donation through Paypal.
- If you'd rather make a purchase with proceeds going to StopCSA, visit the online mall here.
Please Note: Rainbow from Haunted House and Child Person from the South have already put up blog posts to Stop the Silence. If you post about it, let me know and I'll link to your blog post, too!
Update: Here are a couple more brave bloggers who submitted posts to Stop the Silence: Mom Writes for a Cause and The Filipina Mom in Denmark. Thanks for your contributions!
If child sexual abuse is everyone's problem, then everyone can also be part of the solution!
Labels: abuse, advocacy, awareness, Bloggers Unite, breaking the cycle, childhood sexual abuse, network, rape, sexual abuse survivors, sexual violence, Twitter
April 16, 2009
It's Blog Reader Appreciation Day!
Did you know? Today is Blog Reader Appreciation Day! Hurray! I am finding out about all sorts of blogging "days" to celebrate, now that I'm involved with Bloggers Unite. I encourage you to join; it is uplifting.
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.
On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
- I don't think Marcella at Abyss2Hope has a #1 aim of finding friends. But she is definitely not interested in self-aggrandizement--she's too busy making advocacy for rape and sexual assault survivors her big priority. But I just met Marcella IRL and so enjoyed it! I now consider her a bloggy friend AND and IRL friend!
- I met Buffalopine through Twitter. She is such an inspiration! She is also very free with her kind words of support, especially through her thoughtful e-mails and Tweets. I'm glad I'm getting to know this new friend!
- Check out Catatonic Kid's blog. She is a writer extraordinaire! I can hardly believe the lyrical quality of her writing sometimes. She's also an excellent human being. I can't remember who's blog I found her on, but she's another one I'm really enjoying getting to know better through blogging AND Twitter.
- Not only is Mike, from Child Abuse Survivor, not self-aggrandizing, he is a true friend to survivors. He is hosting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for the second time, tomorrow. He's also started the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network (see link below). He's a true friend that can always be counted upon.
- Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet is on a little bloggy break right now. I can see why she needs the rest. She runs a "blog carnival" on her blog just about every week. I've never seen any blogger who is so tireless at their willingness to support and promote other blogs. If you like "linky love," check out her blog!
- I'm glad I've gotten to know Grace, of Grace Uncensored, through The Child Abuse Survivor ning Network. She is also taking a bit of a bloggy break, but I get lots of supportive and friendly advice from her over at Polyvore, where we are part of an Adult Survivors group doing healing collage as art therapy.
- Rainbow, over at Haunted House, is another new bloggy friend of mine. I really enjoyed getting to know her through her event: Child Abuse Awareness Day over at Bloggers Unite. She's supporting the event I'm plugging over there, too: The Run and Rally to Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse.
- Just Be Real started visiting my blog recently, then I started to see her over at the Child Abuse Survivor ning site. She often leaves comments on my blog that include the words "bless you" or "blessings." You know, she's the type of person who, when she offers these kinds words, really does make me feel blessed! Thanks, Just Be Real!
- I'm only supposed to pick eight, and this blogger has already been tagged by this meme, but I just have to include Tamara at Desire to Heal. She was quite supportive and kind to me over at the CAS ning recently when I was really struggling with the Easter holiday. I love ya, Tamara!
Labels: advocacy, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, child abuse prevention, collage, community, gratitude, links, love, network, Twitter
February 21, 2009
Up and Down, In and Out
Whew! The last week has been a roller coaster ride. Up and down. In (as in closed in) and out (as in reaching out) again. As you may have seen from my last quicky post, my computer crashed. (I'm temporarily using a very, old and slow laptop my husband dug out for me--sure am glad he didn't donate or recycle it!)
My desk-top computer started acting really weird and then I think it got a virus. I noticed the weird activity, so asked my husband to put a bunch of my files on a flash drive. I also printed out hard copies of a lot of my poetry and writing for my some-day book. I guess I'm just old fashioned; I like having a nice, secure hard copy of things that may be irreplaceable.
Getting my files saved before my computer crashed was a mixed blessing. One of the things I found on my hard drive was a dissociative rant. It occurred around the end of August, beginning of September, last year. It was before I wrote about the dissociative period in this post here, and later, in this post here. I found new files that had been opened, with strange file names I could not recall. I also found some rants and incongruous writings within some of my existing files of poetry, quotes, book draft, etc. The ranting just went on and on and didn't seem to have any organization to it. I don't remember writing any of it.
Creepy feeling. Damn! I hate the feeling I get when I am forced to stand face-to-face with evidence of my extreme dissociation. It leaves me feeling like a freak, an outcast, a laughing stock, etc. etc. Stinkin' Thinkin' blah!
Then another incident occurred that was also a mixed blessing. I had thought I had found a group of people to meditate with and it turned out to be an unhealthy group (I won't go into the details). I went to a Sunday brunch event outside of the regular meditation time, and it turned out to be a big sales pitch for something affiliated with this group.
Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute! Don't sell to me, don't try to manipulate me, don't misrepresent things or lie to me. I don't like it! And, now--after years of therapy--I will tell you just that!
I then did some research and found out that this group is definitely my definition of unhealthy. I was on the Internet right when the "sales rep" called me up to follow up on the Sunday event. I saw his name and number on my caller i.d. I almost blew it off because I didn't want to confront. Then I started laughing out loud. What a coincidence--or serendipity, or synchronicity--just when I was reading some unpleasant things about this group and making my mind up to stay away from these people, I get a call from one of them! Ha! I decided that, not only was it funny, it was an opportunity to practice my assertiveness skills and keep myself safe.
I got on the phone and the caller asked if I had a few minutes to talk. "Sure," I said, "But, I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to say." I then went on to tell this man that I felt manipulated, sold to, etc. and that I did not like it. I also told him that I would no longer be meditating with the group and to take me off of their call list.
Yay, me! I was very disappointed to find out that something that I had found that I thought would be healthy for me was not, but I managed to confront, be assertive, take care of myself and keep myself safe. I guess there has been progress with all my therapy after all.
So, what does all this mean? I means motivation for another poem, of course! I wrote about my inner child coming out of exile on my dot com site under the Healing Moments page. It existed in prose form until I made a poem out of it. With my computer not working, I had to sketch it out on paper. But, I like the results.
Out of Exile
No crying myself back to sleep
from this nightmare
peace, opening
vast landscapes, possibilities
crisply, now in view.
Vulnerable energy
open, alive
frees a child from exile;
her battened-down isolation
left behind.
So trusting she was
it frightened me,
but I reached in to touch
her curdled scars;
beautiful as her dimpled smile.
She's all of it;
she's joy and pain,
gain, loss, hate and love.
They tell me
she's my inner child,
not someone
my parents could ever recognize.
Copyright 2009 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved
Now that I have use of at least some slow sort of computer, I'll try to get around to some blogs and the Child Abuse Survivor Network and say hello. See ya around the blogosphere!
My desk-top computer started acting really weird and then I think it got a virus. I noticed the weird activity, so asked my husband to put a bunch of my files on a flash drive. I also printed out hard copies of a lot of my poetry and writing for my some-day book. I guess I'm just old fashioned; I like having a nice, secure hard copy of things that may be irreplaceable.
Getting my files saved before my computer crashed was a mixed blessing. One of the things I found on my hard drive was a dissociative rant. It occurred around the end of August, beginning of September, last year. It was before I wrote about the dissociative period in this post here, and later, in this post here. I found new files that had been opened, with strange file names I could not recall. I also found some rants and incongruous writings within some of my existing files of poetry, quotes, book draft, etc. The ranting just went on and on and didn't seem to have any organization to it. I don't remember writing any of it.
Creepy feeling. Damn! I hate the feeling I get when I am forced to stand face-to-face with evidence of my extreme dissociation. It leaves me feeling like a freak, an outcast, a laughing stock, etc. etc. Stinkin' Thinkin' blah!
Then another incident occurred that was also a mixed blessing. I had thought I had found a group of people to meditate with and it turned out to be an unhealthy group (I won't go into the details). I went to a Sunday brunch event outside of the regular meditation time, and it turned out to be a big sales pitch for something affiliated with this group.
Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute! Don't sell to me, don't try to manipulate me, don't misrepresent things or lie to me. I don't like it! And, now--after years of therapy--I will tell you just that!
I then did some research and found out that this group is definitely my definition of unhealthy. I was on the Internet right when the "sales rep" called me up to follow up on the Sunday event. I saw his name and number on my caller i.d. I almost blew it off because I didn't want to confront. Then I started laughing out loud. What a coincidence--or serendipity, or synchronicity--just when I was reading some unpleasant things about this group and making my mind up to stay away from these people, I get a call from one of them! Ha! I decided that, not only was it funny, it was an opportunity to practice my assertiveness skills and keep myself safe.
I got on the phone and the caller asked if I had a few minutes to talk. "Sure," I said, "But, I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to say." I then went on to tell this man that I felt manipulated, sold to, etc. and that I did not like it. I also told him that I would no longer be meditating with the group and to take me off of their call list.
Yay, me! I was very disappointed to find out that something that I had found that I thought would be healthy for me was not, but I managed to confront, be assertive, take care of myself and keep myself safe. I guess there has been progress with all my therapy after all.
So, what does all this mean? I means motivation for another poem, of course! I wrote about my inner child coming out of exile on my dot com site under the Healing Moments page. It existed in prose form until I made a poem out of it. With my computer not working, I had to sketch it out on paper. But, I like the results.
Out of Exile
No crying myself back to sleep
from this nightmare
peace, opening
vast landscapes, possibilities
crisply, now in view.
Vulnerable energy
open, alive
frees a child from exile;
her battened-down isolation
left behind.
So trusting she was
it frightened me,
but I reached in to touch
her curdled scars;
beautiful as her dimpled smile.
She's all of it;
she's joy and pain,
gain, loss, hate and love.
They tell me
she's my inner child,
not someone
my parents could ever recognize.
Copyright 2009 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved
Now that I have use of at least some slow sort of computer, I'll try to get around to some blogs and the Child Abuse Survivor Network and say hello. See ya around the blogosphere!
Labels: abuse, advocacy, aftermath, alters, assertiveness, awareness, child abuse, community, dissociation, embarrassment, inner child, network, ning, poem, Poetry, survivors
January 27, 2009
Linky Lunacy!
Hey, guys! Thanks for putting up with me (and supplying some kind words, cyber hugs and support) while I was down in the pit of "woe-is-me." I realized--even before my therapy session (yay, me!)--that I needed to do some more inner child comfort. When I switched my focus on that for a while, I started to feel much more productive.
Speaking of productive: Get ready, because this is post is going to be "linky lunacy!" Links ahead! As you may notice, I switched back to my old Blogger template format. I got all my widgets, awards and avatars back. It's funny, really. Just when I was feeling down and winter-weary, I got two awards that look to be quite similar. I didn't have any luck getting either of these awards graphics to post (here or on my sidebar/template), so go to the post where the bloggers who awarded them talk about the awards, okay?
This first one is from Teresa Lynne who writes Teardrops on Roses, which you can link to on my sidebar. She also writes a blog called The Write Way, which is where I received the award. It's called a "Triple Award." Wow! Cool! Thanks, Tery! The other one comes from Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet. This award is called the "Lemonade Award." Both of these awards are supposed to go to awardees who show great attitude and/or gratitude. I'm glad Tery and Mile 191 don't think I'm a whiney wiener all the time! Thanks!
I'll have to get up my nominees for this award later, otherwise this will be a really long post.
The second linky-related thing I want to mention is a couple of network "ning" groups I've joined recently. Ever heard of those? They are pretty cool. The first one was started by my friend, Mike McBride, over at Child Abuse Survivor. The group is The Child Abuse Survivors ning. Won't you come over and join us? There's room for survivors, supporters, blogging, forums, chats, photo posting, etc. It is so cool and it's a very supportive group. Check it out. You can go over and join up by clicking the widget I've got (back up, thank you very much) on my sidebar there.
Another network ning group I'm starting to get to know and enjoy is called Coach Creative Space. My friend, Denise, turned me on to it. So far, I've been doing some down-and-dirty poetry and posting it over there. They give lots of feedback and support--and I don't even consider myself a real poet!
Yesterday, we got a "prompt" to write a 15-word poem. I'd been thinking about all the "good, bad, and the ugly" of life lately and so I went to my dot com site, where I have a page called "Healing Moments" under the "My Story" area. I went back and read over a place where I was talking about life being the light and the dark, and all the gray in between. I decided to pull a 15-word poem out of it.
A Both/And Life
Head down closed
Sinking black pit
Light dark, here now
Life is all of it.
Thanks, Coach Creative Space peeps! You helped motivate me to do something productive and helped me work on seeing the "both/and" of life a little bit better!
You know what else helps me feel better again and again? All you bloggy buddies stopping by with words of encouragement and support. I have finally gotten started in updating my blog and my dot com site and I have a lot of new links on my sidebar. They're marked with a "*New*." Go check 'em out!
Last but certainly not least--actually the most important to me right now--is The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. We have another new host for our next edition! Yay! It's Nancy over at Heal and Forgive. Thanks so much for stepping up to the plate, Nancy! She's got her first call for submissions over at this post of hers, here. Please go check out her blog and consider joining us for the next edition of the carnival. It will run on Friday, February 6, with the deadline for submissions set at Wednesday, February 4. Let's all get our submissions together and send them in!
Speaking of productive: Get ready, because this is post is going to be "linky lunacy!" Links ahead! As you may notice, I switched back to my old Blogger template format. I got all my widgets, awards and avatars back. It's funny, really. Just when I was feeling down and winter-weary, I got two awards that look to be quite similar. I didn't have any luck getting either of these awards graphics to post (here or on my sidebar/template), so go to the post where the bloggers who awarded them talk about the awards, okay?
This first one is from Teresa Lynne who writes Teardrops on Roses, which you can link to on my sidebar. She also writes a blog called The Write Way, which is where I received the award. It's called a "Triple Award." Wow! Cool! Thanks, Tery! The other one comes from Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet. This award is called the "Lemonade Award." Both of these awards are supposed to go to awardees who show great attitude and/or gratitude. I'm glad Tery and Mile 191 don't think I'm a whiney wiener all the time! Thanks!
I'll have to get up my nominees for this award later, otherwise this will be a really long post.
The second linky-related thing I want to mention is a couple of network "ning" groups I've joined recently. Ever heard of those? They are pretty cool. The first one was started by my friend, Mike McBride, over at Child Abuse Survivor. The group is The Child Abuse Survivors ning. Won't you come over and join us? There's room for survivors, supporters, blogging, forums, chats, photo posting, etc. It is so cool and it's a very supportive group. Check it out. You can go over and join up by clicking the widget I've got (back up, thank you very much) on my sidebar there.
Another network ning group I'm starting to get to know and enjoy is called Coach Creative Space. My friend, Denise, turned me on to it. So far, I've been doing some down-and-dirty poetry and posting it over there. They give lots of feedback and support--and I don't even consider myself a real poet!
Yesterday, we got a "prompt" to write a 15-word poem. I'd been thinking about all the "good, bad, and the ugly" of life lately and so I went to my dot com site, where I have a page called "Healing Moments" under the "My Story" area. I went back and read over a place where I was talking about life being the light and the dark, and all the gray in between. I decided to pull a 15-word poem out of it.
A Both/And Life
Head down closed
Sinking black pit
Light dark, here now
Life is all of it.
Thanks, Coach Creative Space peeps! You helped motivate me to do something productive and helped me work on seeing the "both/and" of life a little bit better!
You know what else helps me feel better again and again? All you bloggy buddies stopping by with words of encouragement and support. I have finally gotten started in updating my blog and my dot com site and I have a lot of new links on my sidebar. They're marked with a "*New*." Go check 'em out!
Last but certainly not least--actually the most important to me right now--is The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. We have another new host for our next edition! Yay! It's Nancy over at Heal and Forgive. Thanks so much for stepping up to the plate, Nancy! She's got her first call for submissions over at this post of hers, here. Please go check out her blog and consider joining us for the next edition of the carnival. It will run on Friday, February 6, with the deadline for submissions set at Wednesday, February 4. Let's all get our submissions together and send them in!
Labels: award, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, comfort, don't give up, don't quit, gratitude, hope, network, ning, poem, Poetry
