May 28, 2009
Remembering "Veteran" Survivors
Hello, everybody. It's Friday, May 29th. Welcome to the May edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Since Memorial Day just past here in the states, we have a memorial or memory theme for this, our 24th, edition of the carnival.
Thanks to everyone who submitted posts this month and thanks--in advance--for reading and leaving supportive comments at the blogs of our courageous contributors. Trigger Warning: Keep yourself safe as you read. Understandably, child abuse can be a very triggering subject.
ChildPerson from Child Person from the South says it all in the headline for her post, Celebrating Child Abuse Survivors: Veterans of Wars on the Home Front. I like this quote from her post: "So, this May, while taking time to honor those military casualties and veterans of foreign wars, let’s take a moment to remember those who died in home front wars and to honor those who survived." Amen!
Nomorehurt presents Honoring Your Troops posted at Abuse Recovery, saying, "A reader requested I submit this. I hope it is something you'd like to include." I was the reader, actually. I am getting to know Nomorehurt over at Polyvore, where we're both working on art therapy collages. I thought her post was perfect for our theme...maybe you'll agree.
Mike McBride, who runs the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network, almost didn't get his post in on time this month. But, he was able to squeeze in, Carnival Against Child Abuse - Memories and I'm so glad he did. It's a good message for all of us. His blog is posted at Child Abuse Survivor.
Advocacy & Awareness
After blogging with Bloggers Unite against slavery in March, I found myself very touched by this next article. It was submitted by Surbhi and it's entitled, Child Labour: Disgrace for the Society posted at The Viewspaper.
Marcella Chester presents Leading Experts to Discuss How Preventing Violence and Abuse
at her wonderful awareness-raising blog, abyss2hope.
alchemynow is a new blogger and new to the carnival, presenting HOW DID THE ABUSE CHANGE US? posted at Stop the Storm. Welcome, alchemynow!
Lynda Hinkle is another wonderful advocate I've met on Twitter. She gives us International Exploitation of Children and the Sweden Solution posted at In the Best Interest: Child Advocacy Law.
Next, we have a post that hits close to home for me. It's called Raising A Highly Sensitive Child and it's from Concerning Kids. I have a highly sensitive child myself. I am so glad that he is safe with me. He has given me the great gift and opportunity to give a child unconditional love and break the cycle of abuse. Thanks for raising awareness about these youngsters, Concerning Kids.
JIP enlightens and informs us with Stupid comments, questions and statements about being a multiple posted at Lifes Spacings.
Noe is another blogger that I've been enjoying getting to know over at Twitter. She gives us a post that is a great reminder for parents who want to break the cycle of abuse. It is also a wonderful nudge for anyone struggling with perfectionism. And who isn't? Her post is called Your Perfect Child Is Not So Perfect and it's up at her blog, Bebelissimo.com. When she submitted her post, Noe said, "When a parent fails to understand that a perfect child is merely a movie character, his not so perfect child will unfortunately have to struggle a lot only to come up to his parent’s expectations. Demanding perfection from a child will put him under tremendous pressure; a parent who asks his child to perfect, will also pretend to be perfect himself."
Aftermath
Since we're talking about memorials, Memorial Day and memories, I thought I'd dig out an old post about the repression of my child sexual abuse memories. The post is called How Does One Retrieve Repressed Memories of Abuse? from my own Survivors Can Thrive! archives.
Healing & Therapy
Patricia Singleton is working on a wonderful survivor series called "Incest May Be a Part of My Life." Here, she presents part seven in the series: A Little Girl's Story---Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series---Part 7 from her blog, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker. She remarks, "This article is about a little girl with a story to tell. She has no mouth to tell about the abuse. She has no feet so she can't run away from the abuse. The original story was written in 1989 to go along with the first in a series of oil paintings. This painting was about feelings."
This next post, from little sheep, is actually a poem. It's called, oh therapy! Since Little Sheep already has another poem in the poetry category, we've got this poem about--you guessed it--therapy in this Healing & Therapy category. Little Sheep writes at her blog, my (sick and ugly) story.
Colleen Spiro gives us some good, healthy perspective in her post, Smile over at her blog, Surviving by Grace.
Nancy presents Finding a Therapist posted at Heal and Forgive. I asked Nancy to submit this post in hopes that it may help someone in the search. Boy, I wish I had this information years ago. Thanks, Nancy!
Paul presents Journaling posted at Mind Parts, saying, "I am honored to submit this. Thanks for reading. Paul." Another educational and helpful post for survivors. Again, something I wish I had gotten advice on years ago. Thanks for that, Paul!
Just Be Real presents JUST BE REAL: PAIN in the CHANGE posted at JUST BE REAL. After reading JBR's post, I'm reminded that there is a lot of suffering for survivors, but "feeling the feelings" is so important for our healing.
buffalopine--another dear person I met on Twitter--presents The Struggles Within posted at Buffalopine's Blog. When sharing her story of living without dissociating, Buffalopine says in her post, "Today, my wings are fragile." I hope that this survivor community may be one of the things that gives you and your new wings strength, Buffalopine. Thanks for sharing with us.
In The News
Shiv Dravid presents SEX AND THE CITI-ZENS! posted at The Viewspaper. Thanks for joining us for the carnival and raising awareness about child sexual abuse in Inida.
I'm glad that the story about child abuse within the industrial schools and orphanages run by the Catholic church in Ireland got some press and blogging time. My friend, Marcella, always does an excellent job of covering these "In The News" stories. Here, she presents Irish Catholic Church Child Abuse posted at her blog, abyss2hope.
vjack is also blogging on this issue in Catholic Responses to Irish Child Abuse Conspiracy posted at Atheist Revolution.
Poetry
nipper presents Like A Rose posted at NIPPERCAT'S HOME.
little sheep wrote may 10-poem for her blog, my (sick and ugly) story. I was just talking to my therapist about something similar today. Hhmmmm...how did she know? Thanks for sharing, Little Sheep.
Rick Belden wrote a poem about how trauma is stored in our bodies in, body memory posted at poetry, dreams, and the body, saying, "Marj, Thank you for organizing the carnival for everyone. If you decide on a 'father' theme in June, I'll have something to submit for that as well." Thanks in advance, Rick!
JIP presents Little lost angels posted at Lifes Spacings. It reminds us of the inhumane way that adults can actually treat little innocent, helpless children. Thanks for your honest and courage in sharing, JIP.
Thanks to everyone who submitted posts this month and thanks--in advance--for reading and leaving supportive comments at the blogs of our courageous contributors. Trigger Warning: Keep yourself safe as you read. Understandably, child abuse can be a very triggering subject.
ChildPerson from Child Person from the South says it all in the headline for her post, Celebrating Child Abuse Survivors: Veterans of Wars on the Home Front. I like this quote from her post: "So, this May, while taking time to honor those military casualties and veterans of foreign wars, let’s take a moment to remember those who died in home front wars and to honor those who survived." Amen!
Nomorehurt presents Honoring Your Troops posted at Abuse Recovery, saying, "A reader requested I submit this. I hope it is something you'd like to include." I was the reader, actually. I am getting to know Nomorehurt over at Polyvore, where we're both working on art therapy collages. I thought her post was perfect for our theme...maybe you'll agree.
Mike McBride, who runs the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network, almost didn't get his post in on time this month. But, he was able to squeeze in, Carnival Against Child Abuse - Memories and I'm so glad he did. It's a good message for all of us. His blog is posted at Child Abuse Survivor.
Advocacy & Awareness
After blogging with Bloggers Unite against slavery in March, I found myself very touched by this next article. It was submitted by Surbhi and it's entitled, Child Labour: Disgrace for the Society posted at The Viewspaper.
Marcella Chester presents Leading Experts to Discuss How Preventing Violence and Abuse
at her wonderful awareness-raising blog, abyss2hope.
alchemynow is a new blogger and new to the carnival, presenting HOW DID THE ABUSE CHANGE US? posted at Stop the Storm. Welcome, alchemynow!
Lynda Hinkle is another wonderful advocate I've met on Twitter. She gives us International Exploitation of Children and the Sweden Solution posted at In the Best Interest: Child Advocacy Law.
Next, we have a post that hits close to home for me. It's called Raising A Highly Sensitive Child and it's from Concerning Kids. I have a highly sensitive child myself. I am so glad that he is safe with me. He has given me the great gift and opportunity to give a child unconditional love and break the cycle of abuse. Thanks for raising awareness about these youngsters, Concerning Kids.
JIP enlightens and informs us with Stupid comments, questions and statements about being a multiple posted at Lifes Spacings.
Noe is another blogger that I've been enjoying getting to know over at Twitter. She gives us a post that is a great reminder for parents who want to break the cycle of abuse. It is also a wonderful nudge for anyone struggling with perfectionism. And who isn't? Her post is called Your Perfect Child Is Not So Perfect and it's up at her blog, Bebelissimo.com. When she submitted her post, Noe said, "When a parent fails to understand that a perfect child is merely a movie character, his not so perfect child will unfortunately have to struggle a lot only to come up to his parent’s expectations. Demanding perfection from a child will put him under tremendous pressure; a parent who asks his child to perfect, will also pretend to be perfect himself."
Aftermath
Since we're talking about memorials, Memorial Day and memories, I thought I'd dig out an old post about the repression of my child sexual abuse memories. The post is called How Does One Retrieve Repressed Memories of Abuse? from my own Survivors Can Thrive! archives.
Healing & Therapy
Patricia Singleton is working on a wonderful survivor series called "Incest May Be a Part of My Life." Here, she presents part seven in the series: A Little Girl's Story---Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series---Part 7 from her blog, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker. She remarks, "This article is about a little girl with a story to tell. She has no mouth to tell about the abuse. She has no feet so she can't run away from the abuse. The original story was written in 1989 to go along with the first in a series of oil paintings. This painting was about feelings."
This next post, from little sheep, is actually a poem. It's called, oh therapy! Since Little Sheep already has another poem in the poetry category, we've got this poem about--you guessed it--therapy in this Healing & Therapy category. Little Sheep writes at her blog, my (sick and ugly) story.
Colleen Spiro gives us some good, healthy perspective in her post, Smile over at her blog, Surviving by Grace.
Nancy presents Finding a Therapist posted at Heal and Forgive. I asked Nancy to submit this post in hopes that it may help someone in the search. Boy, I wish I had this information years ago. Thanks, Nancy!
Paul presents Journaling posted at Mind Parts, saying, "I am honored to submit this. Thanks for reading. Paul." Another educational and helpful post for survivors. Again, something I wish I had gotten advice on years ago. Thanks for that, Paul!
Just Be Real presents JUST BE REAL: PAIN in the CHANGE posted at JUST BE REAL. After reading JBR's post, I'm reminded that there is a lot of suffering for survivors, but "feeling the feelings" is so important for our healing.
buffalopine--another dear person I met on Twitter--presents The Struggles Within posted at Buffalopine's Blog. When sharing her story of living without dissociating, Buffalopine says in her post, "Today, my wings are fragile." I hope that this survivor community may be one of the things that gives you and your new wings strength, Buffalopine. Thanks for sharing with us.
In The News
Shiv Dravid presents SEX AND THE CITI-ZENS! posted at The Viewspaper. Thanks for joining us for the carnival and raising awareness about child sexual abuse in Inida.
I'm glad that the story about child abuse within the industrial schools and orphanages run by the Catholic church in Ireland got some press and blogging time. My friend, Marcella, always does an excellent job of covering these "In The News" stories. Here, she presents Irish Catholic Church Child Abuse posted at her blog, abyss2hope.
vjack is also blogging on this issue in Catholic Responses to Irish Child Abuse Conspiracy posted at Atheist Revolution.
Poetry
nipper presents Like A Rose posted at NIPPERCAT'S HOME.
little sheep wrote may 10-poem for her blog, my (sick and ugly) story. I was just talking to my therapist about something similar today. Hhmmmm...how did she know? Thanks for sharing, Little Sheep.
Rick Belden wrote a poem about how trauma is stored in our bodies in, body memory posted at poetry, dreams, and the body, saying, "Marj, Thank you for organizing the carnival for everyone. If you decide on a 'father' theme in June, I'll have something to submit for that as well." Thanks in advance, Rick!
JIP presents Little lost angels posted at Lifes Spacings. It reminds us of the inhumane way that adults can actually treat little innocent, helpless children. Thanks for your honest and courage in sharing, JIP.
I'm noticing for this--our 24th--edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, that we have more male survivors coming forward to share their stories, we also have several new carnival participants joining us and more international representation here. I'm very happy to see that. Now, let's make sure we get out there in cyberland and thank these folks for raising awareness with us by visiting their blogs and leaving comments. Thanks!
Please Note: We're looking for a new host for the June carnival. Some of you who have been participating by submitting posts to the carnival for a while may want to consider hosting a monthly edition. It's really quite easy, and I help you through it every step of the way. Come on, you can do it! Leave me a comment if you're willing (for June or anytime in the future).
All blog carnival entries are saved for our next monthly edition, no matter when they are submitted. So, if you'd like to get an early start and submit your blog post for next month, you can use our carnival submission form right here.
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, community, healing, Poetry, therapy
May 16, 2009
Things That Make A Difference
I'm taking a break from organizing The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse and Bloggers Unite awareness days and thought I'd just write an update about me and my survivor journey.
I'm feeling quite well right now. In fact, I think I feel so well emotionally, that I haven't caught the nasty cold and cough that my husband has had for a week. It's amazing how that mind-body connection thing works, huh?
I was exhausted from lots of extra trauma processing therapy, so I've been doing some nice things for myself, resting, gardening, etc. I think that's made a difference for me staying physically healthy. During some recent "extra" therapy sessions processing some really icky, terrifying torture memories, I noticed that my IBS had really flared up. But, I took some measures to help with that and I notice that my guts feel better now, too. Yipppeee!
While I was a bit distracted, I got tagged with a couple of bloggy awards. I want everyone to know how much these mean to me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit just how touched and tickled I get receiving these, to be honest. I have some rejected, abandoned, little child parts who still just really want to be liked and accepted. And these awards just seem to go straight to the heart of all that.
First, Cornnut at Picture of Experience has created a whole new award. Is that cool, or what? It's called The Make A Difference Award. Now, as usual, I can't get Cornnut's award graphic to load here, but it has a really great quote on it from JFK that I want to share: "One person can make a difference and every person should try." Excellent, well said, and I so agree!
You know what's amazing? Three days after I received word about this Make a Difference Award, I got a comment from Just Be Real and she's made up her own award as well. Man, I wish I were as cyber savvy as these gals! Just Be Real's award is aptly named, the "Just Be Real" Award. I've always liked the name of her blog and I love the name of this award.
I think one of the reasons I'm so touched at receiving both of these awards is because they recognize what I try to do at my blog:
I used to make the cut-and-paste type collages with pictures and words clipped from magazines. But, recently I've discovered computer collage at Polyvore. My most recent project is that I'm compiling collages and pairing them with some of my poems.
Here is a recent pairing that I think speaks to my current survivor journey status. Maybe you can relate.
Child Fly Away
I love and cherish you
And I know you love me too
Come now and we will dance and play
And then we’ll simply fly away
I can feel your pain
I know they tried to break you
You’re helpless, sad, alone
No peace within
I can tell you’re tired
I see a child who’s tortured
With trying to atone
For unknown sin
Hey, let’s fly away
We’ve struggled with chains too long
Let’s grab this chance so we can see
If we are ever to be free
Why wait here in the dark?
All it can ever show you
Is pain and it’s the pain
That you still fear
I can see the light
In my heart faith remains
And I know that this is it
Our chance is here
I love and cherish you
And now I know you feel love too
Now we can dance and run and play
Then we just simply fly away
Away
Away
Come let’s fly away
We’ll fly away
Copyright 2002 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved
I'm feeling quite well right now. In fact, I think I feel so well emotionally, that I haven't caught the nasty cold and cough that my husband has had for a week. It's amazing how that mind-body connection thing works, huh?
I was exhausted from lots of extra trauma processing therapy, so I've been doing some nice things for myself, resting, gardening, etc. I think that's made a difference for me staying physically healthy. During some recent "extra" therapy sessions processing some really icky, terrifying torture memories, I noticed that my IBS had really flared up. But, I took some measures to help with that and I notice that my guts feel better now, too. Yipppeee!
While I was a bit distracted, I got tagged with a couple of bloggy awards. I want everyone to know how much these mean to me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit just how touched and tickled I get receiving these, to be honest. I have some rejected, abandoned, little child parts who still just really want to be liked and accepted. And these awards just seem to go straight to the heart of all that.
First, Cornnut at Picture of Experience has created a whole new award. Is that cool, or what? It's called The Make A Difference Award. Now, as usual, I can't get Cornnut's award graphic to load here, but it has a really great quote on it from JFK that I want to share: "One person can make a difference and every person should try." Excellent, well said, and I so agree!
You know what's amazing? Three days after I received word about this Make a Difference Award, I got a comment from Just Be Real and she's made up her own award as well. Man, I wish I were as cyber savvy as these gals! Just Be Real's award is aptly named, the "Just Be Real" Award. I've always liked the name of her blog and I love the name of this award.
I think one of the reasons I'm so touched at receiving both of these awards is because they recognize what I try to do at my blog:
- Make a Difference in the areas of assault survivor advocacy and child abuse awareness and
- Be Real, share my story and be real, open and honest with it.
I used to make the cut-and-paste type collages with pictures and words clipped from magazines. But, recently I've discovered computer collage at Polyvore. My most recent project is that I'm compiling collages and pairing them with some of my poems.
Here is a recent pairing that I think speaks to my current survivor journey status. Maybe you can relate.
Child Fly Away
I love and cherish you
And I know you love me too
Come now and we will dance and play
And then we’ll simply fly away
I can feel your pain
I know they tried to break you
You’re helpless, sad, alone
No peace within
I can tell you’re tired
I see a child who’s tortured
With trying to atone
For unknown sin
Hey, let’s fly away
We’ve struggled with chains too long
Let’s grab this chance so we can see
If we are ever to be free
Why wait here in the dark?
All it can ever show you
Is pain and it’s the pain
That you still fear
I can see the light
In my heart faith remains
And I know that this is it
Our chance is here
I love and cherish you
And now I know you feel love too
Now we can dance and run and play
Then we just simply fly away
Away
Away
Come let’s fly away
We’ll fly away
Copyright 2002 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved
Labels: advocacy, award, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, Bloggers Unite, body connection, child parts, comfort, healing, poem, Poetry, therapy
May 12, 2009
Heard of Fibromyalgia?
I'm interested in fibromyalgia because I keep running into survivors who have it. It seems to be right up there with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and migraines--which I suffer with--as survivor health issues that there are no cures for.
Today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, so I thought I'd talk about it here. The first person I ever met with fibromyalgia was a roommate I had during one of my hospital stints. She was in so much pain that I felt like I should never complain about my IBS or migraines again. Her pain was pervasive and she had had many tests before her diagnosis.
Many of us are aware that fibromyalgia involves widespread pain and fatigue. But there are some common myths around the condition. The Mayo Clinic website has a helpful article that busts nine common myths about fibromyalgia. I have summarized the first six below.
Today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, so I thought I'd talk about it here. The first person I ever met with fibromyalgia was a roommate I had during one of my hospital stints. She was in so much pain that I felt like I should never complain about my IBS or migraines again. Her pain was pervasive and she had had many tests before her diagnosis.
Many of us are aware that fibromyalgia involves widespread pain and fatigue. But there are some common myths around the condition. The Mayo Clinic website has a helpful article that busts nine common myths about fibromyalgia. I have summarized the first six below.
- Myth: Most doctors don't believe fybromyalgia is a real condition. Truth: Fibromyalgia is defined by a list of symptoms and most doctors believe these symptoms are real.
- Myth: Fibromyalgia damages your joints. Truth: While the pain of fibromyalgia may be severe, it does not damage your muscles, joints or bones.
- Myth: You look fine so there's nothing wrong with you. Truth: Friends, family and co-workers may hold this belief because they don't understand. Be willing to talk about it. Raise awareness.
- Myth: You got the fibromyalgia diagnosis because your doctor couldn't find anything wrong with you. Truth: Fibromyalgia is a specific diagnosis based on a specific set of criteria devleoped by The American College of Rheumatology. But, diagnosing fibromyalgia can take time because there's no single test that can confirm you have it.
- Myth: Fibromyalgia only causes pain. Truth: People with fibromyalgia also often experience fatigue and difficulty sleeping, headaches, sensitivity to light, dizziness, memory problems, and numbness and tingling in the arms and legs. IBS, bladder control problems and mood disorders often accompany fibromyalgia.
- Myth: It's no use going to the doctor because no treatments for the condition exist. Truth: There's no standard treatment for it, but the FDA has now approved one drug for treating fibromyalgia and there are many options for controlling the pain, including medications, lifestyle changes, and alternative treatments.
Labels: abuse, advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Bloggers Unite, body connection, IBS, survivors
May 09, 2009
Let's Raise Awareness About: Domestic Violence
I promised the bloggers over at Bloggers Unite that I'd write today about Domestic Violence Awareness. I've gotten most of the information I've used to raise my awareness about domestic violence through my friend Tery (Teresa Lynne) at her blog, Teardrops on Roses.
I really respect Tery. She is a very strong and courageous woman. One of the things I find so admirable about her is that she did something my own mother was not capable of doing: she protected her children from her abusive husband. You can read an interview where Tery is telling part of her story in "Finding The Courage to Leave" here.
Tery and her girls left the alcoholic abuser with only the clothes on their backs. As for protecting her offspring, Tery is quoted as saying, "Having three daughters, I needed to get them away from a bad situation before they became victims of violence themselves.”
Hurray for you, Tery!
One of the reasons I feel so strongly about Domestic Violence is because it is not possible for it not to have an eventual effect on the children in the household. My own ex husband was only physically violent with me once. When we were separated he became enraged, grabbed me by the arm and threw me to the ground. But, all during our marriage, he did things that were very controlling, humiliating and sexually abusive. I made sure that I did not have any children with this unhealthy person and got a divorce when he would not cooperate with marital counselling. I did not want to bring any children into that situation and I'm glad I was able to avoid that.
My own mother was a different story. She did divorce my abusive father, but never did a thing to protect her three children from his abuse. I've repressed a lot of abuse memories from my childhood. One memory, however, I have never forgotten: It is the memory of being awakened in the middle of the night to the shrill sounds of my screaming mother.
My father had her arm wrenched behind her back and my mother was in pain. My older brother came out into the hallway and asked what was going on. My mother used that moment of distraction to get away and run across the street to the neighbors to call the police.
Can you believe what happened next? Well, if you've been reading my blog for very long, you probably can guess. My mother left her innocent, vulnerable, tiny children alone with the raging maniac that she had to make sure she got away from. They eventually divorced, but my mother never did anything to fight the visitation rights given to my father.
Yes, folks, we need to raise awareness about domestic violence. We need to fight it and provide protection and respite for domestic violence victims. You never know how many lives you may be saving when you help a battered woman. She may have children who need protecting as well.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Their website is here.
I really respect Tery. She is a very strong and courageous woman. One of the things I find so admirable about her is that she did something my own mother was not capable of doing: she protected her children from her abusive husband. You can read an interview where Tery is telling part of her story in "Finding The Courage to Leave" here.
Tery and her girls left the alcoholic abuser with only the clothes on their backs. As for protecting her offspring, Tery is quoted as saying, "Having three daughters, I needed to get them away from a bad situation before they became victims of violence themselves.”
Hurray for you, Tery!
One of the reasons I feel so strongly about Domestic Violence is because it is not possible for it not to have an eventual effect on the children in the household. My own ex husband was only physically violent with me once. When we were separated he became enraged, grabbed me by the arm and threw me to the ground. But, all during our marriage, he did things that were very controlling, humiliating and sexually abusive. I made sure that I did not have any children with this unhealthy person and got a divorce when he would not cooperate with marital counselling. I did not want to bring any children into that situation and I'm glad I was able to avoid that.
My own mother was a different story. She did divorce my abusive father, but never did a thing to protect her three children from his abuse. I've repressed a lot of abuse memories from my childhood. One memory, however, I have never forgotten: It is the memory of being awakened in the middle of the night to the shrill sounds of my screaming mother.
My father had her arm wrenched behind her back and my mother was in pain. My older brother came out into the hallway and asked what was going on. My mother used that moment of distraction to get away and run across the street to the neighbors to call the police.
Can you believe what happened next? Well, if you've been reading my blog for very long, you probably can guess. My mother left her innocent, vulnerable, tiny children alone with the raging maniac that she had to make sure she got away from. They eventually divorced, but my mother never did anything to fight the visitation rights given to my father.
Yes, folks, we need to raise awareness about domestic violence. We need to fight it and provide protection and respite for domestic violence victims. You never know how many lives you may be saving when you help a battered woman. She may have children who need protecting as well.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Their website is here.
Labels: abuse, advocacy, awareness, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, child protection, domestic violence
April 29, 2009
Unite for Hunger and Hope Today!
I'm really enjoying being part of Bloggers Unite. Today is the day they have designated as Bloggers Unite Day for Hunger and Hope.
I know I'm usually raising awareness about child abuse and advocating for sexual violence survivors. So, why do I think this is a good fit for me and my blog?
Well, I agree with this:
"Poverty is the worst form of violence."~ Gandhi
I also agree with this:
"We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, ... The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty." ~ Mother Teresa
Also, I consider malnutrition and poverty a global abuse of our planet's children. Poverty and hunger affect our planet's children in a profound way. Estimates vary, but an alarming estimate from Unicef says that 25,000 children die every day -- that's a child dying every 3.5 seconds! --from poverty, hunger and easily-preventable diseases.
Like Nelson Mandela, I believe that poverty is not natural. It is man-made. The good news is that we can also end poverty by man-made means. I know it seems like such an overwhelmingly vast problem. What can you and I do about it?
Well, one charity that I like a lot is Heifer International. For almost 60 years, Heifer has been helping people all over the world obtain sustainable sources of food and income. Heifer helps build sustainable communities and puts impoverished people on the road to self-reliance by teaching animal management and environmentally sound agriculture techniques.
So where do you and I come in? Well, for the past three years at Christmas/holiday time, my family has been giving the gift of Heifer animals in honor of our friends and family and our son's school teachers. These folks love "receiving" this kind of gift and many of them have started this tradition for their own friends and family.
For as little as $20 you can send a flock of chicks who will grow into hens who can each lay up to 200 protein-rich eggs a year. For $120, you can give the gift of a goat. A good dairy goat can provide up to a ton of milk in a year! Okay, so let's say you don't eat meat, eggs or milk and you don't want to encourage that. Well, for only $30, you can help a family learn how to keep bees. You can help a struggling family earn income from the sale of honey, beeswax and pollen. Since bees pollinate fruit and vegetable crops, a beehive can be a boost to an entire village.
"The one message that we are trying to promote all the time, that poverty in the world is an artificial creation. It doesn't belong to human civilization, and we can change that..." ~ Muhammad Yunus, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate (2006)
One of the things that gift-givers like about Heifer International is that they provide a hand-up, rather than just a hand-out. I like that, too. I'm glad to be a supporter of Heifer and I'm glad that Bloggers Unite is highlighting their efforts as we unite for Hunger and Hope.
"True compassion is more than throwing a coin to a beggar. It demands of our humanity that if we live in a society that produces beggars, we are morally commanded to restructure that society." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
I know I'm usually raising awareness about child abuse and advocating for sexual violence survivors. So, why do I think this is a good fit for me and my blog?
Well, I agree with this:
"Poverty is the worst form of violence."~ Gandhi
I also agree with this:
"We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, ... The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty." ~ Mother Teresa
Also, I consider malnutrition and poverty a global abuse of our planet's children. Poverty and hunger affect our planet's children in a profound way. Estimates vary, but an alarming estimate from Unicef says that 25,000 children die every day -- that's a child dying every 3.5 seconds! --from poverty, hunger and easily-preventable diseases.
Like Nelson Mandela, I believe that poverty is not natural. It is man-made. The good news is that we can also end poverty by man-made means. I know it seems like such an overwhelmingly vast problem. What can you and I do about it?
Well, one charity that I like a lot is Heifer International. For almost 60 years, Heifer has been helping people all over the world obtain sustainable sources of food and income. Heifer helps build sustainable communities and puts impoverished people on the road to self-reliance by teaching animal management and environmentally sound agriculture techniques.
So where do you and I come in? Well, for the past three years at Christmas/holiday time, my family has been giving the gift of Heifer animals in honor of our friends and family and our son's school teachers. These folks love "receiving" this kind of gift and many of them have started this tradition for their own friends and family.
For as little as $20 you can send a flock of chicks who will grow into hens who can each lay up to 200 protein-rich eggs a year. For $120, you can give the gift of a goat. A good dairy goat can provide up to a ton of milk in a year! Okay, so let's say you don't eat meat, eggs or milk and you don't want to encourage that. Well, for only $30, you can help a family learn how to keep bees. You can help a struggling family earn income from the sale of honey, beeswax and pollen. Since bees pollinate fruit and vegetable crops, a beehive can be a boost to an entire village.
"The one message that we are trying to promote all the time, that poverty in the world is an artificial creation. It doesn't belong to human civilization, and we can change that..." ~ Muhammad Yunus, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate (2006)
One of the things that gift-givers like about Heifer International is that they provide a hand-up, rather than just a hand-out. I like that, too. I'm glad to be a supporter of Heifer and I'm glad that Bloggers Unite is highlighting their efforts as we unite for Hunger and Hope.
"True compassion is more than throwing a coin to a beggar. It demands of our humanity that if we live in a society that produces beggars, we are morally commanded to restructure that society." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
Labels: advocacy, awareness, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, philanthropy
April 19, 2009
Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse
Today, starting at 8:00 a.m., Eastern Time, they ran. They ran in Washington D.C. as part of the Race and Rally to Stop The Silence of Child Sexual Abuse. It was the sixth annual event and they're raising more funds and more awareness every year.
Here's a video about the event:
Now, I'm no runner. And--as much as I'd love to see those cherry blossoms this time of year-- I just couldn't get out to D.C. to go to this rally in person (I hope to some day). But, I'm raising awareness here, at the Child Abuse Survivor ning network and on Twitter. And there's still more that you can do TODAY for this event as well.
First off, check out StopCSA's website to learn more about the cause: As Stop CSA says, It's everyone's problem. For instance, did you know?
Here are some more links, stats, and photos and ways to get involved at the StopCSA site:
Please Note: Rainbow from Haunted House and Child Person from the South have already put up blog posts to Stop the Silence. If you post about it, let me know and I'll link to your blog post, too!
Update: Here are a couple more brave bloggers who submitted posts to Stop the Silence: Mom Writes for a Cause and The Filipina Mom in Denmark. Thanks for your contributions!
If child sexual abuse is everyone's problem, then everyone can also be part of the solution!
Here's a video about the event:
Now, I'm no runner. And--as much as I'd love to see those cherry blossoms this time of year-- I just couldn't get out to D.C. to go to this rally in person (I hope to some day). But, I'm raising awareness here, at the Child Abuse Survivor ning network and on Twitter. And there's still more that you can do TODAY for this event as well.
First off, check out StopCSA's website to learn more about the cause: As Stop CSA says, It's everyone's problem. For instance, did you know?
- 73 percent of prostitutes were sexually abused before the age of 16;
- 83 percent of convicted killers (men and women) were physically and emotionally abused as children, and 32.2 percent were sexually abused;
- 60 percent of teenage mothers were sexually abused as children;
- 43 percent of runaways are sexually abused
Here are some more links, stats, and photos and ways to get involved at the StopCSA site:
- For stats and info on mental health-related problems, substance abuse issues and prevalence in the general population click the "The Cause: Child Sexual Abuse" page.
- If you are a survivor of CSA and you want to tell some of your story and share your photo on their web site, please check out StopCSA's "A Call to Action to Survivors" page.
- If you'd like to read an example of what one survivor had to share, go to the "A Survivor Speaks Out" page.
- If you'd like to view a beautiful slide show of survivors click here.
- Click here: to make a secure donation through Paypal.
- If you'd rather make a purchase with proceeds going to StopCSA, visit the online mall here.
Please Note: Rainbow from Haunted House and Child Person from the South have already put up blog posts to Stop the Silence. If you post about it, let me know and I'll link to your blog post, too!
Update: Here are a couple more brave bloggers who submitted posts to Stop the Silence: Mom Writes for a Cause and The Filipina Mom in Denmark. Thanks for your contributions!
If child sexual abuse is everyone's problem, then everyone can also be part of the solution!
Labels: abuse, advocacy, awareness, Bloggers Unite, breaking the cycle, childhood sexual abuse, network, rape, sexual abuse survivors, sexual violence, Twitter
April 16, 2009
It's Blog Reader Appreciation Day!
Did you know? Today is Blog Reader Appreciation Day! Hurray! I am finding out about all sorts of blogging "days" to celebrate, now that I'm involved with Bloggers Unite. I encourage you to join; it is uplifting.
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.
On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
- I don't think Marcella at Abyss2Hope has a #1 aim of finding friends. But she is definitely not interested in self-aggrandizement--she's too busy making advocacy for rape and sexual assault survivors her big priority. But I just met Marcella IRL and so enjoyed it! I now consider her a bloggy friend AND and IRL friend!
- I met Buffalopine through Twitter. She is such an inspiration! She is also very free with her kind words of support, especially through her thoughtful e-mails and Tweets. I'm glad I'm getting to know this new friend!
- Check out Catatonic Kid's blog. She is a writer extraordinaire! I can hardly believe the lyrical quality of her writing sometimes. She's also an excellent human being. I can't remember who's blog I found her on, but she's another one I'm really enjoying getting to know better through blogging AND Twitter.
- Not only is Mike, from Child Abuse Survivor, not self-aggrandizing, he is a true friend to survivors. He is hosting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for the second time, tomorrow. He's also started the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network (see link below). He's a true friend that can always be counted upon.
- Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet is on a little bloggy break right now. I can see why she needs the rest. She runs a "blog carnival" on her blog just about every week. I've never seen any blogger who is so tireless at their willingness to support and promote other blogs. If you like "linky love," check out her blog!
- I'm glad I've gotten to know Grace, of Grace Uncensored, through The Child Abuse Survivor ning Network. She is also taking a bit of a bloggy break, but I get lots of supportive and friendly advice from her over at Polyvore, where we are part of an Adult Survivors group doing healing collage as art therapy.
- Rainbow, over at Haunted House, is another new bloggy friend of mine. I really enjoyed getting to know her through her event: Child Abuse Awareness Day over at Bloggers Unite. She's supporting the event I'm plugging over there, too: The Run and Rally to Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse.
- Just Be Real started visiting my blog recently, then I started to see her over at the Child Abuse Survivor ning site. She often leaves comments on my blog that include the words "bless you" or "blessings." You know, she's the type of person who, when she offers these kinds words, really does make me feel blessed! Thanks, Just Be Real!
- I'm only supposed to pick eight, and this blogger has already been tagged by this meme, but I just have to include Tamara at Desire to Heal. She was quite supportive and kind to me over at the CAS ning recently when I was really struggling with the Easter holiday. I love ya, Tamara!
Labels: advocacy, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, child abuse prevention, collage, community, gratitude, links, love, network, Twitter
March 27, 2009
Free The Slaves!
Today is International Free The Slaves Awareness day.
I was definitely a sex slave to my father. If I did not perform one of my "job duties" to his satisfaction, punishment (torture) was swift, cruel and inhumane.
Even before I retrieved the repressed memories of my childhood sexual abuse, I always remembered the verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, etc. I have always felt like my birth guaranteed my parents free slave labor.
With my mother, it was free domestic labor. My sister and I would stand on chairs, as we had the sole responsibility of the family dish washing starting at age seven. We were not yet old enough to reach the kitchen sink. I got so good at scouring toilets, scrubbing bathtubs and mopping floors, that by age 11 I decided to farm out my cleaning skills to the neighbors and I actually got paid for it.
After my parents divorced, the duties I was expected to perform for my mother increased. Her two favorites were forcing me to give her foot massages and rubbing her head when she had a headache (which was daily).
You may call these childhood memories "incest," "parentification," "not age-appropriate" or simply, "chores."
What these memories feel like to me--then and now--adds up to pure slavery. I had no freedom. I had no choice. I had no means of escape.
It seems to me that, when we think of slavery on a large scale, we think of The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. We think of Africans being shipped across the ocean, sold, forced to do menial labor, beaten, whipped and treated as less than human--treated as animals, or even below animals. Many of us in the US think of Abraham Lincoln, The Civil War, and The Emancipation Proclamation of 1862.
We think it's over.
Indeed, slavery is illegal world-wide. But, it's far from over. In fact, as the United Nations recognized its International Day of Remembrance of The Victims of Slavery on Wednesday, March 25, it reminded us that some 100 milli0n Africans were forced into slavery in the 200 years of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade.
Today, FTS--Free The Slaves--estimates that 27 million people are enslaved at the present time.
Folks, that's Right Now!
Have you heard this statistic about modern-day slavery? Think you heard wrong? Well, have you heard any of these terms: child labor, exploitation, trafficking, sexual slavery, child soldiers? These are all forms of modern-day slavery. If you go to the Unicef website, at www.unicef.org, you will find a whopping 22 pages of related articles on modern-day slavery, sprinkled with the terms I've mentioned above.
Since many of us haven't thought of slavery since our US history classes in school, let's do a refresher on the definition of slavery. FTS defines slaves as being "forced to work without pay under threat of violence and unable to walk away." Think this is something that only happens on some remote island, far, far away? FTS provides a glogal map of modern slavery occurrence. There, the US is highlighted prominently, along with China, Russia, India and South American and African countries. Each country/region gets categorized as "slave labour used both internally and exported" or "receiver of slave labour and products."
Here are some statistics you may not know, from the FTS "Top 10 Facts About Modern Slavery:"
FTS believes that we could totally end slavery within 25 years. But we must educate ourselves about the problem. We must raise awareness. Below, I've listed a couple more sites that you can visit to educate yourself about modern-day slavery and raise your own awareness. If you want to help us raise awareness in the blogosphere, go to Bloggers Unite.
I was definitely a sex slave to my father. If I did not perform one of my "job duties" to his satisfaction, punishment (torture) was swift, cruel and inhumane.
Even before I retrieved the repressed memories of my childhood sexual abuse, I always remembered the verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, etc. I have always felt like my birth guaranteed my parents free slave labor.
With my mother, it was free domestic labor. My sister and I would stand on chairs, as we had the sole responsibility of the family dish washing starting at age seven. We were not yet old enough to reach the kitchen sink. I got so good at scouring toilets, scrubbing bathtubs and mopping floors, that by age 11 I decided to farm out my cleaning skills to the neighbors and I actually got paid for it.
After my parents divorced, the duties I was expected to perform for my mother increased. Her two favorites were forcing me to give her foot massages and rubbing her head when she had a headache (which was daily).
You may call these childhood memories "incest," "parentification," "not age-appropriate" or simply, "chores."
What these memories feel like to me--then and now--adds up to pure slavery. I had no freedom. I had no choice. I had no means of escape.
It seems to me that, when we think of slavery on a large scale, we think of The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. We think of Africans being shipped across the ocean, sold, forced to do menial labor, beaten, whipped and treated as less than human--treated as animals, or even below animals. Many of us in the US think of Abraham Lincoln, The Civil War, and The Emancipation Proclamation of 1862.
We think it's over.
Indeed, slavery is illegal world-wide. But, it's far from over. In fact, as the United Nations recognized its International Day of Remembrance of The Victims of Slavery on Wednesday, March 25, it reminded us that some 100 milli0n Africans were forced into slavery in the 200 years of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade.
Today, FTS--Free The Slaves--estimates that 27 million people are enslaved at the present time.
Folks, that's Right Now!
Have you heard this statistic about modern-day slavery? Think you heard wrong? Well, have you heard any of these terms: child labor, exploitation, trafficking, sexual slavery, child soldiers? These are all forms of modern-day slavery. If you go to the Unicef website, at www.unicef.org, you will find a whopping 22 pages of related articles on modern-day slavery, sprinkled with the terms I've mentioned above.
Since many of us haven't thought of slavery since our US history classes in school, let's do a refresher on the definition of slavery. FTS defines slaves as being "forced to work without pay under threat of violence and unable to walk away." Think this is something that only happens on some remote island, far, far away? FTS provides a glogal map of modern slavery occurrence. There, the US is highlighted prominently, along with China, Russia, India and South American and African countries. Each country/region gets categorized as "slave labour used both internally and exported" or "receiver of slave labour and products."
Here are some statistics you may not know, from the FTS "Top 10 Facts About Modern Slavery:"
- At least 14,500 slaves are trafifcked into the United States each year
- Slaves work in fields, mines, brothels, restaurants...even homes
- Slave owners use many words to avoid the term slavery, such as "debt bondage," and "bonded labor"
- Around the world, the average cost to turn a human into a slave is only $90
FTS believes that we could totally end slavery within 25 years. But we must educate ourselves about the problem. We must raise awareness. Below, I've listed a couple more sites that you can visit to educate yourself about modern-day slavery and raise your own awareness. If you want to help us raise awareness in the blogosphere, go to Bloggers Unite.
- While FTS is a movement/charity in the US, Anti-Slavery is international
- Justice Sunday is this Sunday, March 29. Get details at UUSC, The Unitarian Universalist Service Committee
Labels: abuse, advocacy, awareness, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, child labor, freedom, human dignity, human rights, inhumanity, sexual slavery, survivors, torture
