December 14, 2009
The Gift of Gratitude
My holiday wish for you is that the spirit of the season brings you true comfort and joy.
Labels: beauty, collage, comfort, community, connection, gratitude, support, survivors
November 19, 2009
Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse: November, 2009
TRIGGER WARNING Child Abuse is an horrific reality in our world today. Understandably, reading articles about the abuse of children can be triggering. Please take appropriate care while perusing the carnival.
Since it is, indeed, World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse, our carnival theme this month is prevention. Here are some posts that fall under the theme:
Darkness2Light was kind enough to let us use their post, Tuesday Talking Points, Nov. 17 posted at the Darkness2Light blog. It's a powerful, yet friendly and down-to-earth, video of Darkness2Light's founder explaining why she started the world's leading non-profit working to prevent child sexual abuse. With the submission came the remark, "Our aim is to END child sexual abuse! It's a lofty goal, but we have a way... Find out how we can PREVENT this tragedy."
KathyBroady LCSW offers her Tips for Protecting Your Children from Sexual Abuse posted at her blog, Protective Parenting. In her remarks she said, "Thank you, Thriver, for putting the effort into making this blog carnival about the prevention of sexual abuse. Educating people about how to protect their children is important!" Thank you, Kathy! Predators are determined to get to our children. We need to use wise strategies such as these to outsmart them and keep our kids safe.
Adam writes about How 5 Minutes Worth of Education Can Help You Better Understand How to Prevent Child Abuse at his blog, ZenTactics News Page, and says, "Learning how to prevent child abuse starts by educating yourself first. What are the signs to look for? How do you know if a child is being abused? Read this article." Yes, I also recommend reading this article. It contains some key facts and signs we all should know.
Nancy Gray links us to a survey at her post, NAPCAN: Prevent Child Abuse and Neglect from Child Person From the South, and explains, "This blog is simply an important invitation to participate in a survey on child abuse and neglect being conducted NAPCAN in Australia. The survey is not limited to citizens of Australia and includes many opportunities to share information that may contribute to increased awareness, knowledge, and prevention of child abuse and neglect. I encourage you to take a few moments to take advantage of this opportunity to make a difference for children everywhere." I took the survey and I'm glad I did. Won't you take it, too?
Art Therapy
Next, I want to highlight a brand new category for our carnival: art therapy. I have really experienced great benefit working with collage. Recently, I've enjoyed the almost-instant gratification of digital collage at Polyvore. So, I wanted to offer this opportunity for sharing survivor art and healing here.
Grace highlights her Polyvore collage at her post of the same name: Enter to the right ~ Exit to the left...for me there is no escape from her blog, Good Enough.
Finally, I present my own art therapy post which is also an awareness/prevention post. It's called I am Not a Burden, I am a Child. I posted this on my own blog here in response to some strong emotion that came up for me after reading a news article back in May about the rise in reports of child abuse.
If you decide to go to the Polyvore website and check it out for yourself, you may be a bit confused at first. The home page makes it look like a fashion site, and it is. But in addition to all the fashion images, there are thousands of other images (they call them"items") that you can save into your own personal file at your account and create any kind of healing collage (they call them "sets" over there) that you so desire. Give it a try! I'm glad I did!
Advocacy & Awareness
KathyBroady LCSW delivers a second post this month: Sex Offenders in the Northern Dallas Texas Area from her blog, Protective Parenting. Kathy points out, "An important element of prevention of sexual abuse is having an awareness of the predators in your neighborhood. This blog post provides an example of how to find your local registered sex offenders. Prevent child abuse by knowing exactly who to avoid!"
Colleen Spiro has a way of providing succinct, powerful advocacy posts at her blog, Surviving by Grace. In this post, she talks about The Ripple Effect and asks, "How many people have been helped because I was helped?"
AftermathIvory's post, Coping With Fall really caught my attention because, like me, she says that fall is her favorite season, yet it is also filled with triggers. She posts at Shades of Ivory, and says, "Healing from child abuse is immeasurably deep and ambiguous. Healing should be needed only when the abuse has not first been prevented."
Faith Hoffen presents HERE'S THE CONDENSED VERSION OF MY TRAUMA - THE CAUSES OF MY INJURIES AND ILLNESSES posted at Hope for Coping with Traumatic Stress, saying, "This is the condensed version of how the child abuse affected me physically up to the present day - including 8 surgeries and continuing pain...But, I still have hope for a better tomorrow."
Colleen Spiro joins us again with her post, Empty Spaces from her blog, Surviving by Grace. Here, she talks about the holiday season approaching and the grief that she feels regarding the estrangement from her family of origin. But, I think Colleen's "feeling of the feelings" shows healthy progress.
This next post, from Jumping in Puddles is very interesting as it describes, A Littles Life Inside a Big Body, at her blog, Life Spacings. JIP commented, "What it's like living inside a big body but stuck being a little because of abuse that created you in the first place." I want to thank the littles in JIP's system for their courage in sharing in this post.
Healing & Therapy
I met Dr. Kathleen Young several months ago through Twitter. She's been a wonderful, consistent supporter of our carnival ever since. Here, she presents, Connection Heals, from her blog, Dr. Kathleen Young: Treating Trauma in Chicago. I sure do appreciate my connection with her!
Adam is back with, What Causes Depression - Why You Must Examine The Past If You're a Child Abuse Survivor posted at ZenTactics News Page, saying, "I wrote this article based on personal experience. I shared it with another survivor and it rang true for them as well. I hope you like it." Yes, Adam, I like this smart article very much. In fact, I wish I had read it years ago. It took me (an my various doctors and therapists) literally years to figure out that I am not chronically depressed. My depression is situational and usually arises while avoiding horrific childhood memories that are trying to surface.
Dan L Hays presents Talk of Tigers/The Tiger Unveiled posted at Thoughts Along The Road to Healing, saying, " It is how I started to become aware of the rage problem I had, and how I was forced to confront it. It will be the topic of a future book, 'The Tiger Unveiled.'" Good luck with the future book, Dan!
Kellen gives us a therapist's perspective in, Mindfulness, Childhood Trauma and Denial posted at the Kellevision blog. With this submission was the remark, "Relearning mindfulness in order to heal from childhood sexual abuse." I like the advice here about survivors getting back in touch with their bodies. I know I was "out" of my body for a long time and being back in touch with it has been healing for me.
Patricia Singleton gives us a light and easy post, Calm from her blog, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker. Patricia says, "Part of my journey means enjoying the breaks when they come along. All of life doesn't have to be hard." I'm so happy for you that you are experiencing this calm phase of refreshment, Patricia!
mile 191 gives us her thoughts on parenting from an assignment she did in a marriage and family course: Assignment from Hell: Her REGRET. It's from her blog, come into my closet, and she says, "For this article I chose the Healing category because I sense that I am HEALING finally, as I move out of my childhood and into parenting my own children in a more healthy environment and atmosphere. I feel that while I make mistakes that my children are very blessed. I am breaking the cycle...I am preventing child abuse by being the best Mother that I can be. From the mistakes of my own parents I am growing to become the kind of loving and tender parent that I always wanted. I know that I make mistakes and sometimes healing while being a parent is harder than the abuse itself...Being a parent and healing from a tragic childhood is one of the hardest things that any person could possibly take on." I so agree, Mile. But, we are doing it! Yeah!
IK shares about inner child self-soothing, attention and acceptance in, The Child Within from Issue Knitting. Thanks so much for joining us for this carnival, IK!
April_Optimist is always so positive in her posts, even when speaking about the "tough stuff." In Battening Down the Hatches posted at her blog, The Thriver's Toolbox, she gives us some great ideas for comforting, safety and self-care. As she says, "If we are abused, there will be times the past surfaces and we need to deal with it. This is a post about how to do so safely."
Hall monitor presents Teacher accused of forming 'secret society' to have sex with teen girls, posted at Detention Slip saying, "This teacher duped high school girls into sex. We need to stop people like this from entering our schools!" This article, unfortunately, didn't surprise me at all. My own pedophile father was a high school teacher. God only knows what tricks he employed to molest girls there. Raise awareness!
Tamir Birk from Informed Vote presents Nova Scotia Bishop Lahey’s Alleged Child Abuse. This article talks about the incomplete media coverage when it comes to Catholic priest pedophiles who also happen to be of very high rank and influence.
Poetry
Rick Belden was our first blogger to submit for the November carnival. Thanks, Rick! In his poem, child, posted at his blog, poetry, dreams, and the body, Rick presents us with the spiritual child, gifted child, curious, trusting and innocent child. This is moving; please read this poem. As Rick says, "My submission for the November carnival was written twenty years ago and then packed away in a box in my closet where it remained, forgotten, until I rediscovered it earlier this year." I'm so glad you found it and shared it with us!
Nancy Gray is back, this time with a poem: Kicking the Dog - A Poem from another one of her blogs, Scarecrow Child. When submitting, Nancy said, "Child abuse and neglect leave many scars as well as festering wounds on survivors. Art provides an opportunity to heal from some of the damage and its after effects...The Scarecrow Child Blog contains many of my attempts to work through my own trauma through various art forms."
Dan L Hays has a second submission. It's a poem called, Heartbeat from his blog, Thoughts Along The Road to Healing. When submitting, Dan remarked, "A poem about an abuse incident from my teenage years, the effects on my adult life, and the spiritual solution to overcoming it."
Buffalopine agreed to let me use her post, Dream Giver: The Healing, from her blog, Buffalopine's Blog, because it is truly beautiful and poetic. It is long, but it really reads like a poem. Thanks for sharing this with us, Buffalopine!
BeyondBeliefs presents Thomas T. Panto's - My Dear Perfection posted at Journey Of Life, saying, "This is what Living Things know about Life."
I was afraid that Mary had decided to no longer post to her blog, so I was so pleasantly surprised when I saw that she had created a new survivor poem for us! It's called To My Mother, and it's another very poignant and powerful poem written by Mary at her blog, Nippercat's Home.
Survivor Stories
Innocencestolen wrote part of her story, My Story, specifically for our blog carnival. Thanks, Innocencestolen! She posts at her blog, aptly named, Innocencestolen's Blog. Thanks for joining us!
Laurie Smith contacted me through Mike's Child Abuse Survivor Network. I'm happy to include her post, Chapter - 5 "In This Corner, Heavy Weight Champion....." from her blog, Not So Fond Memories,Growing up in an Abusive Home. Laurie remarks, "It is my hope that this blog will help to promote child abuse awareness. My blog is my story and I hope that as the chapters unfold, the readers of my blog will see that there is hope, there is light and healing can begin. I am living proof...Thank you to everyone who has ever had it in their heart to intervene and to help an abused child." Thank you for your courage in sharing, Laurie!
castorgirl is back to end our carnival with a post called, Friendship and safety posted at her blog, Scattered pieces. Castorgirl says, "This is a 'thank you' to online friends who accept and understand what it is like to be a survivor." Thank you for this lovely sentiment and for joining us for this carnival edition!
That's it for this edition. I know it is a lot to read with 35 posts. But, I'll keep it up here for a while. You don't have to read all the entries in one sitting, but I know how much all the contributors appreciate a supportive comment at their blog posts. So, get around to as many as you can, won't you? I'd like to thank everyone who submitted their courageous, thoughtful, insightful and helpful blog posts this month. As always, I am so proud of our survivor and supporter community! Thanks for visiting.
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, breaking the cycle, child abuse prevention, collage, healing, Poetry, survivor art, therapy
November 16, 2009
Take a Ride, Help a Child!
*****
Thursday (11/19) is World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse. It's an annual, global awareness campaign, launched in 2000. Won't you help a child--help break the cycle--by raising awareness about child abuse at our Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse? I'm hosting an edition here at my blog on Thursday--"World Day."
Tuesday, 11/17 Update: Thanks for the heads up on the Blog Carnival submission form link not working. I think it's working now. Thanks for your interest and support of our carnival. If you tried to submit before and couldn't, please try again! Appreciate your patience! ;)
Labels: advocacy, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, breaking the cycle, child abuse prevention, collage, community, survivor art, therapy
September 17, 2009
Emotional & Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By
I'm really bummed about Polyvore, as that has been one of my life lines lately. With my slow connection, I haven't done as much over there for a while. The other day, I was trying to build a collage and parts of the page (the ones with the necessary buttons, for crying out loud) kept disappearing. Aarrgghhh!
I'm also reeling from this Fall Memory Maze I'm trying to navigate. The other day, I woke up so afraid, I couldn't get out of bed. It was so bad, I couldn't get any comfort going at all. It was all I could do to jump out quickly and grab the phone to call my husband. I asked him to come home and stay with me a while. The wonderful angel did! He brought me tea and sat on the edge of the bed for a while. I think I had a brief glimpse of what agoraphobics must go through. I told my husband, "I know it doesn't make any sense, but I feel like there are mean people out there (outside) who want to hurt me." He stayed with me while. I finally got dressed and my hubby stood there while I watered a few flowers. The fear eventually died down.
Barbed by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
This collage represents how I've been feeling often lately. Scattered, afraid...on the verge of becoming unraveled and completely hysterical. I'm doing extra therapy this week. I think I'm very close to something new and really big in the Autumn Memory Department.
Don't forget, everybody: The next Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse will be over at Paul's blog, Mind Parts. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, September 23rd. He's only got a handful of submissions so far, so let's get those in! Here's the submission form. Would you please go around to blogs and remind each other? I may not be able to do it as I'd like with my computer woes. Thanks!
Labels: aftermath, alters, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, broken, collage, feelings, freeze response, memory work, therapy
September 04, 2009
My Life Lines: A Pencil & A Rake
For now, I'll leave you with some pix from Polyvore. I've been very active over there making collages, and I even know how to embed their code to make the collage show up here. Hooray for little ol' cyber klutz me! ;)
I just mentioned to my hubby this morning that I really hope that this will be one of the last years in my life that I have to deal with so much anguish in the late summer and fall months. Hell, for the last several years, the m.o. has been: Get really triggered and freaked out in August (with firefighter parts coming out, wreaking havoc, getting suicidal and running away); try to cope and do mega therapy in September and October (stay out of the hospital and squeeze in some time with hubby for his October birthday); then brace myself after that for the onslaught of the dreaded holidays.
It would be really nice not to have almost half of my life on hold during these difficult months. For one thing, this is harvest time. I like to harvest and dry my herbs and then cook up big pots of soup and ratatouille to freeze for the winter. I also have loads of work to finish up in the backyard project before the gardening season is over. Then there are the fall colors of Autumn I love so much. So, this would be a nice time of year to be present for and enjoy.
Another thing I'd like to have some assurance for is my botanical illustration courses. I've only got two classes under my belt so far. I took them in the spring. But, I'm hoping I'll be able to commit to getting my certificate in botanical illustration before too long. The classes are expensive, though, and I want to make sure that I can make it to them--not miss any for any freak-out reasons. So, I'm hesitating taking some that are in the fall catalog. Oh well. We'll see.
One thing we do have set up already--Yay us!--is the next two hosts for the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. September will be hosted by Paul at Mind Parts and October will be taken care of by Lynda at Child Advocacy Law. So, we'll have some continuity there.
I'll leave this post up for a little bit. My computer is giving me fits again. I'll try to get around to your blogs and comment, at least, though.
Dream Job: Botanical Illustrator by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
The Healing Garden by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
Labels: aftermath, alters, anniversary, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, collage, holidays, landscaping, therapy
July 27, 2009
Licking My Wounds & Art Therapy
Thank you all for your kind comments. There were some things written in the comment section of my last post that I hadn't really realized before. Seeing those sentiments in black and white was very helpful to me. I appreciate you all so much. Our Survivor Solidarity is awesome!
Another thing I'm finding helpful is my art therapy through collage over at Polyvore. Let me share a couple of recent compilations.
This piece is called "Return to Wonder." I wish we--as child abuse survivors--could all go back and NOT know what we shouldn't have known as young children...return to innocence and wonder.
This piece reminds me that maybe--just a little at least--I'm coming out of the dark and into the green, the growing...the light. Also, that maybe I can grow something out of all the dark, black dirt that I have. I wish you all much rest, peace and blessings on your own journeys of recovery, healing, dirt-digging, reaching for the light, and growing beautiful things out of the muck.
Labels: appreciation, beauty, collage, comfort, community, grieving, healing, recovery, self-care, support, survivor art
May 22, 2009
I am Not a Burden, I am a Child
But, the more I looked at these linked news articles, blog posts, YouTube videos and tweets, the more upset I got. A few of them really brought the tears on for me. I decided I needed a little art therapy, so I went over to Polyvore and created a collage.
I think what got it all started--the feeling of the intense feelings, I mean--was a news article at CBS about the recent rise in reports of child abuse. I searched the topic "child abuse" at YouTube to see if the news video was posted there. You know me, the cyber klutz: It's the only way I know how to post videos here at my blog.
I didn't find a copy of the child abuse report, but what I did find was some information on one of my favorite charities: Childhelp. Right now, if you vote for Martina McBride for the CMT Music Awards and she wins, CMT will donate money to Childhelp! Very cool! Phew! I was looking for some good news.
I am not a huge country music fan, but I am a huge fan of advocates for child abuse prevention and awareness. Go, Martina! Kudos to her for choosing Childhelp as her charity of choice and for raising awarness about child abuse through her video and song, Concrete Angel.
Labels: abandonment, advocacy, awareness, child abuse, child abuse prevention, collage, Twitter
April 16, 2009
It's Blog Reader Appreciation Day!
The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).
This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:
- I don't think Marcella at Abyss2Hope has a #1 aim of finding friends. But she is definitely not interested in self-aggrandizement--she's too busy making advocacy for rape and sexual assault survivors her big priority. But I just met Marcella IRL and so enjoyed it! I now consider her a bloggy friend AND and IRL friend!
- I met Buffalopine through Twitter. She is such an inspiration! She is also very free with her kind words of support, especially through her thoughtful e-mails and Tweets. I'm glad I'm getting to know this new friend!
- Check out Catatonic Kid's blog. She is a writer extraordinaire! I can hardly believe the lyrical quality of her writing sometimes. She's also an excellent human being. I can't remember who's blog I found her on, but she's another one I'm really enjoying getting to know better through blogging AND Twitter.
- Not only is Mike, from Child Abuse Survivor, not self-aggrandizing, he is a true friend to survivors. He is hosting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for the second time, tomorrow. He's also started the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network (see link below). He's a true friend that can always be counted upon.
- Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet is on a little bloggy break right now. I can see why she needs the rest. She runs a "blog carnival" on her blog just about every week. I've never seen any blogger who is so tireless at their willingness to support and promote other blogs. If you like "linky love," check out her blog!
- I'm glad I've gotten to know Grace, of Grace Uncensored, through The Child Abuse Survivor ning Network. She is also taking a bit of a bloggy break, but I get lots of supportive and friendly advice from her over at Polyvore, where we are part of an Adult Survivors group doing healing collage as art therapy.
- Rainbow, over at Haunted House, is another new bloggy friend of mine. I really enjoyed getting to know her through her event: Child Abuse Awareness Day over at Bloggers Unite. She's supporting the event I'm plugging over there, too: The Run and Rally to Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse.
- Just Be Real started visiting my blog recently, then I started to see her over at the Child Abuse Survivor ning site. She often leaves comments on my blog that include the words "bless you" or "blessings." You know, she's the type of person who, when she offers these kinds words, really does make me feel blessed! Thanks, Just Be Real!
- I'm only supposed to pick eight, and this blogger has already been tagged by this meme, but I just have to include Tamara at Desire to Heal. She was quite supportive and kind to me over at the CAS ning recently when I was really struggling with the Easter holiday. I love ya, Tamara!
Labels: advocacy, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, Bloggers Unite, child abuse, child abuse prevention, collage, community, gratitude, links, love, network, Twitter
March 31, 2009
Unwanted Child
I chose this for my caption: Children are adorable, precious, innocent...and wanting to be wanted.
Unwanted Child - by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
Labels: child abuse prevention, collage, healing, survivor art
