September 04, 2009
My Life Lines: A Pencil & A Rake
Therapy and feelings work have been intense, but I've also had some productivity in other areas lately. Although I'm coming to terms with the fact that my huge backyard landscaping project will go to the three-year production plan, I'm happy with the results. My backyard is truly turning into a sanctuary--and I need one of those! One of these days I'll get some photos up. I even have some "before-and-after" photos I can share if I can figure out how to post them here.
For now, I'll leave you with some pix from Polyvore. I've been very active over there making collages, and I even know how to embed their code to make the collage show up here. Hooray for little ol' cyber klutz me! ;)
I just mentioned to my hubby this morning that I really hope that this will be one of the last years in my life that I have to deal with so much anguish in the late summer and fall months. Hell, for the last several years, the m.o. has been: Get really triggered and freaked out in August (with firefighter parts coming out, wreaking havoc, getting suicidal and running away); try to cope and do mega therapy in September and October (stay out of the hospital and squeeze in some time with hubby for his October birthday); then brace myself after that for the onslaught of the dreaded holidays.
It would be really nice not to have almost half of my life on hold during these difficult months. For one thing, this is harvest time. I like to harvest and dry my herbs and then cook up big pots of soup and ratatouille to freeze for the winter. I also have loads of work to finish up in the backyard project before the gardening season is over. Then there are the fall colors of Autumn I love so much. So, this would be a nice time of year to be present for and enjoy.
Another thing I'd like to have some assurance for is my botanical illustration courses. I've only got two classes under my belt so far. I took them in the spring. But, I'm hoping I'll be able to commit to getting my certificate in botanical illustration before too long. The classes are expensive, though, and I want to make sure that I can make it to them--not miss any for any freak-out reasons. So, I'm hesitating taking some that are in the fall catalog. Oh well. We'll see.
One thing we do have set up already--Yay us!--is the next two hosts for the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. September will be hosted by Paul at Mind Parts and October will be taken care of by Lynda at Child Advocacy Law. So, we'll have some continuity there.
I'll leave this post up for a little bit. My computer is giving me fits again. I'll try to get around to your blogs and comment, at least, though.
Dream Job: Botanical Illustrator by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
The Healing Garden by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
For now, I'll leave you with some pix from Polyvore. I've been very active over there making collages, and I even know how to embed their code to make the collage show up here. Hooray for little ol' cyber klutz me! ;)
I just mentioned to my hubby this morning that I really hope that this will be one of the last years in my life that I have to deal with so much anguish in the late summer and fall months. Hell, for the last several years, the m.o. has been: Get really triggered and freaked out in August (with firefighter parts coming out, wreaking havoc, getting suicidal and running away); try to cope and do mega therapy in September and October (stay out of the hospital and squeeze in some time with hubby for his October birthday); then brace myself after that for the onslaught of the dreaded holidays.
It would be really nice not to have almost half of my life on hold during these difficult months. For one thing, this is harvest time. I like to harvest and dry my herbs and then cook up big pots of soup and ratatouille to freeze for the winter. I also have loads of work to finish up in the backyard project before the gardening season is over. Then there are the fall colors of Autumn I love so much. So, this would be a nice time of year to be present for and enjoy.
Another thing I'd like to have some assurance for is my botanical illustration courses. I've only got two classes under my belt so far. I took them in the spring. But, I'm hoping I'll be able to commit to getting my certificate in botanical illustration before too long. The classes are expensive, though, and I want to make sure that I can make it to them--not miss any for any freak-out reasons. So, I'm hesitating taking some that are in the fall catalog. Oh well. We'll see.
One thing we do have set up already--Yay us!--is the next two hosts for the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. September will be hosted by Paul at Mind Parts and October will be taken care of by Lynda at Child Advocacy Law. So, we'll have some continuity there.
I'll leave this post up for a little bit. My computer is giving me fits again. I'll try to get around to your blogs and comment, at least, though.
Dream Job: Botanical Illustrator by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
The Healing Garden by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com
Labels: aftermath, alters, anniversary, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, collage, holidays, landscaping, therapy
July 15, 2008
Hi and Hiatus
Well, I got the car back and then I had it washed and detailed. The old car (it's about ten years old) looks almost new! It's a good thing, too; we spent as much to fix it as it would cost to make a down payment on a new car! Gee, whiz!
I was hoping to attempt to put up some digital pix from my trip on the blog, but I screwed up in two ways: I took a bunch of photos with my new cell phone (my husband would not let me go on this road trip without one...and it's a good thing I had it when my car broke down in the middle of nowhere) and somehow deleted all but three of them; then, I had the wrong ISO on the digital camera and most of my photos came out too dark that I took with that after I finally thought I had it figured out enough to at least work on "all automatic!" Dear Lord, I am NOT very techno savvy, and probably never will be! ;P I think I'll have to take a digital photo course one of these days.
I'm still hoping to get some photos up on the landscaping project. Unfortunately, the window for planting is well closed here (too hot) and now I'm just putting down mulch and fighting weeds.
I'm pretty busy these days. For example, I'm cooking for 40 people today (long story). To be honest, I've got a lot going on and am not focusing on the "Surviving-to-Thriving" or therapy issues much right now.
I think I'm going to take a bloggy/therapy/"Survivors Can Thrive" break for three or four weeks. I'm doing well and accomplishing other things...and that feels good, really. It doesn't mean I love any of you any less, mind you. I'll get around to some blogs and say, "Hi! and Happy Summer/Good luck with Summer!" before I depart. I'll also make sure I'm back in plenty of time to get the September BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE all organized and back on the road again.
Be well and take good care, all. I'll be back soon.
******7/16/08:
P.S. JIP reminded me that I haven't really given you guys a health update for a while. I guess I got all discombobulated with being out of town, and the unexpected car repairs, etc. Okay. Well, JIP, thanks for asking. First, my scar from the skin cancer surgery is healing up nicely. Today, as a matter of fact, is the day that marks six weeks since I had the stitches out and that's the day I'm supposed to start daily massage of the area. I guess this is supposed to help the scar tissue lie down smoother and look more natural. I'll give it a try.
As far as the Thoracic Outlet Syndrome goes, I've spent a lot of money on therapy for that, but its' a whole lot better than surgery, wouldn't you agree? The pain in my shoulder has been greatly reduced and this has allowed me to continue with my landscaping project in my yard. What took a bit longer--but we are finally starting to see improvement on--is the "pins-and-needles", coldness and numb sensations down my right arm. Just in the last few weeks, I've noticed that I have these sensations a lot less often and they are much less severe.
So, the self-care and healing continues...
I hope all of you indulge in some well-deserved self-care this summer as well. Now, I mean it people! You are a divine, unique treasure. Take care of you!
I was hoping to attempt to put up some digital pix from my trip on the blog, but I screwed up in two ways: I took a bunch of photos with my new cell phone (my husband would not let me go on this road trip without one...and it's a good thing I had it when my car broke down in the middle of nowhere) and somehow deleted all but three of them; then, I had the wrong ISO on the digital camera and most of my photos came out too dark that I took with that after I finally thought I had it figured out enough to at least work on "all automatic!" Dear Lord, I am NOT very techno savvy, and probably never will be! ;P I think I'll have to take a digital photo course one of these days.
I'm still hoping to get some photos up on the landscaping project. Unfortunately, the window for planting is well closed here (too hot) and now I'm just putting down mulch and fighting weeds.
I'm pretty busy these days. For example, I'm cooking for 40 people today (long story). To be honest, I've got a lot going on and am not focusing on the "Surviving-to-Thriving" or therapy issues much right now.
I think I'm going to take a bloggy/therapy/"Survivors Can Thrive" break for three or four weeks. I'm doing well and accomplishing other things...and that feels good, really. It doesn't mean I love any of you any less, mind you. I'll get around to some blogs and say, "Hi! and Happy Summer/Good luck with Summer!" before I depart. I'll also make sure I'm back in plenty of time to get the September BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE all organized and back on the road again.
Be well and take good care, all. I'll be back soon.
******7/16/08:
P.S. JIP reminded me that I haven't really given you guys a health update for a while. I guess I got all discombobulated with being out of town, and the unexpected car repairs, etc. Okay. Well, JIP, thanks for asking. First, my scar from the skin cancer surgery is healing up nicely. Today, as a matter of fact, is the day that marks six weeks since I had the stitches out and that's the day I'm supposed to start daily massage of the area. I guess this is supposed to help the scar tissue lie down smoother and look more natural. I'll give it a try.
As far as the Thoracic Outlet Syndrome goes, I've spent a lot of money on therapy for that, but its' a whole lot better than surgery, wouldn't you agree? The pain in my shoulder has been greatly reduced and this has allowed me to continue with my landscaping project in my yard. What took a bit longer--but we are finally starting to see improvement on--is the "pins-and-needles", coldness and numb sensations down my right arm. Just in the last few weeks, I've noticed that I have these sensations a lot less often and they are much less severe.
So, the self-care and healing continues...
I hope all of you indulge in some well-deserved self-care this summer as well. Now, I mean it people! You are a divine, unique treasure. Take care of you!
Labels: Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, digital photography, hiatus, landscaping, road trip, summer, Survivors Can Thrive, therapy, thrive
June 10, 2008
Therapy for Everybody!
Well dang! I'm noticing that it's Tuesday already and I'm not quite getting that "aaahh, that's better" feeling; catching up on things with my son at his computer day camp this week. This morning, I felt quite stressed out, as a matter of fact. Seems I'm running from appointment to appointment and there isn't any big chunk of time in between for all that catching up on things I wanted to do.
Do you know? I'm in therapy...my son is in therapy...we're going to family therapy to work on communicating about our challenges and issues better....and even the dog is in therapy! Can you believe it? Seems like a little overkill doesn't it?
Well, I had to do something. We were reaching critical meltdown at the end of the school year: It seemed like every week I was getting a negative call from one of the teachers at my son's school; and my son and husband were yelling at each other; and I had to pull my dog off of some poor, unsuspecting walking dog on the bike path next to our house! Aaaaccckkkk! It was out of control!
It appears that trauma has even leaked over into the canine world around here. The pattern that I've picked up on is that my dog gets all stressed out, then aggressive with other female dogs.
See, there's this dog in the neighborhood that I've had problems with (well, her owner, actually). I've had several conversations with this dog's owner, to no avail. This other dog is also a female and is allowed to roam freely around the neighborhood. I'm surprised she hasn't been hit by a car by now. She also has a very territorial, "I'm-the-alpha-female-around-here" attitude. Unless I'm diligent and keep them apart, this other female nails my dog every time they come in contact with each other. There's never been any blood drawn or physical injuries. But, the trainer I'm taking my dog to now says she definitely thinks this other dog has traumatized my dog. Oh, goody!
Anyway, I took my dog, Lyla, to the trainer at 10:00 this morning. That made somewhere I had to be at 8:00, 9:00 and then 10:00 just so far today. Whew! I need a vacation!
In fact, I'm going to do that at the end of this month. I'm also thinking about just letting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse go on Summer hiatus until the fall. Then, I've got some bloggy book tours I've promised to do. I'm hoping we can weave them into the blog carnival in some way. While we're taking a break, can I get some of you to sign up for monthly hosting slots in the fall? Start thinking about it, okay? Then, just leave a comment or e-mail me.
So, I called the doctor I've been working with on my TOC for my arm/shoulder and I cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. An appointment I can't cancel is with my T on Thursday. Yippy, skippy, oh boy! That surgery I had for the skin cancer has, apparently, dredged up an old torture/abuse memory that I need to work on. Maybe after that, I just might take a dissociative therapy hiatus as well.
What I'm really enjoying working on right now is a project I have in my yard. I'm doing all the design and landscaping work myself. I should have taken "before" pictures, because it's really amazing the changes that are occurring out there. We live in fairly new construction and all that was in my backyard was mulch before. There's a huge slope to my backyard, so all the wood chips have washed down to the fence at the edge of the yard--that left weeds and dirt! Lovely! So, now I'm building an enormous rock garden instead of a retaining wall, to keep everything from migrating down the slope. And I'm putting in a flagstone path with "stepable," ground-cover plants in between instead of a lawn I have to water and mow.
If I can figure out how to do it, I may post some photos of my project. I gotta say, I sure like this sort of work better than therapy!
Okay, so there's an updated blog post. And, I promise I will get around to some blogs this week. I will try my best to also catch up on some of the requests I've gotten in bloggy land. I also hope to do some house cleaning on my template. You know, links and stuff. BTW, does anybody know how to compress the archives for old blog posts? That sidebar list is getting a bit long, wouldn't you agree? Please don't anybody take it personally that I'm so far behind in cyber land. As you can see, there are many areas I need to catch up on, in addition to commenting at other blogs. I'm also behind on everything here at home. I've GOT to get to the grocery store and I estimate I have seven or eight loads of laundry to do. Loads number one and two are working in the washer and dryer as I blog now.
But, the Blog Carnival is on hold for a few months. I hope we can all live with that. Something's just gotta give, ya know? And I'm not willing for it to be my physical or emotional health.
See y'all around the blogosphere!
Do you know? I'm in therapy...my son is in therapy...we're going to family therapy to work on communicating about our challenges and issues better....and even the dog is in therapy! Can you believe it? Seems like a little overkill doesn't it?
Well, I had to do something. We were reaching critical meltdown at the end of the school year: It seemed like every week I was getting a negative call from one of the teachers at my son's school; and my son and husband were yelling at each other; and I had to pull my dog off of some poor, unsuspecting walking dog on the bike path next to our house! Aaaaccckkkk! It was out of control!
It appears that trauma has even leaked over into the canine world around here. The pattern that I've picked up on is that my dog gets all stressed out, then aggressive with other female dogs.
See, there's this dog in the neighborhood that I've had problems with (well, her owner, actually). I've had several conversations with this dog's owner, to no avail. This other dog is also a female and is allowed to roam freely around the neighborhood. I'm surprised she hasn't been hit by a car by now. She also has a very territorial, "I'm-the-alpha-female-around-here" attitude. Unless I'm diligent and keep them apart, this other female nails my dog every time they come in contact with each other. There's never been any blood drawn or physical injuries. But, the trainer I'm taking my dog to now says she definitely thinks this other dog has traumatized my dog. Oh, goody!
Anyway, I took my dog, Lyla, to the trainer at 10:00 this morning. That made somewhere I had to be at 8:00, 9:00 and then 10:00 just so far today. Whew! I need a vacation!
In fact, I'm going to do that at the end of this month. I'm also thinking about just letting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse go on Summer hiatus until the fall. Then, I've got some bloggy book tours I've promised to do. I'm hoping we can weave them into the blog carnival in some way. While we're taking a break, can I get some of you to sign up for monthly hosting slots in the fall? Start thinking about it, okay? Then, just leave a comment or e-mail me.
So, I called the doctor I've been working with on my TOC for my arm/shoulder and I cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. An appointment I can't cancel is with my T on Thursday. Yippy, skippy, oh boy! That surgery I had for the skin cancer has, apparently, dredged up an old torture/abuse memory that I need to work on. Maybe after that, I just might take a dissociative therapy hiatus as well.
What I'm really enjoying working on right now is a project I have in my yard. I'm doing all the design and landscaping work myself. I should have taken "before" pictures, because it's really amazing the changes that are occurring out there. We live in fairly new construction and all that was in my backyard was mulch before. There's a huge slope to my backyard, so all the wood chips have washed down to the fence at the edge of the yard--that left weeds and dirt! Lovely! So, now I'm building an enormous rock garden instead of a retaining wall, to keep everything from migrating down the slope. And I'm putting in a flagstone path with "stepable," ground-cover plants in between instead of a lawn I have to water and mow.
If I can figure out how to do it, I may post some photos of my project. I gotta say, I sure like this sort of work better than therapy!
Okay, so there's an updated blog post. And, I promise I will get around to some blogs this week. I will try my best to also catch up on some of the requests I've gotten in bloggy land. I also hope to do some house cleaning on my template. You know, links and stuff. BTW, does anybody know how to compress the archives for old blog posts? That sidebar list is getting a bit long, wouldn't you agree? Please don't anybody take it personally that I'm so far behind in cyber land. As you can see, there are many areas I need to catch up on, in addition to commenting at other blogs. I'm also behind on everything here at home. I've GOT to get to the grocery store and I estimate I have seven or eight loads of laundry to do. Loads number one and two are working in the washer and dryer as I blog now.
But, the Blog Carnival is on hold for a few months. I hope we can all live with that. Something's just gotta give, ya know? And I'm not willing for it to be my physical or emotional health.
See y'all around the blogosphere!
Labels: Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, dog training, issues, landscaping, memory work, skin cancer, therapy, TOC, trauma
