May 16, 2011
Life Goes On...
Boy, am I missing blogging and the blogosphere! Here it is May, and I didn't think I would be giving blogging much thought at this point. May is usually one of my best months of the year, when I usually get a great respite from my therapy work, triggers and dissociative nightmares. In the merry month of May, I am usually gardening, walking & hiking, drawing flowers and enjoying the great outdoors. Well, this May the weather is crappy and we're still getting frost at night. Also, there seems to be no let up in the triggers and therapy department. As a matter of fact, I had planned on taking the entire month of May off from therapy, as I have a botanical illustration class on my regular therapy day this month. But, things came up, inner child parts got scared, and my therapist had an opening on a different day from a client who is in Australia for a month. Oh, goodie! Lucky me!
I have done a little bit of Spring cleaning and I just finished a botanical illustration piece that took me many hours to produce and I am happy with it. But, other than that, I'm still doing a lot of therapy, a lot of inner child comforting...and not much of anything that looks like summer is almost here. What I am going to do, while I'm sitting here on this chilly morning in my fluffy jammies, is get around to some of your blogs. I realize that I submitted something to last month's Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, but I haven't gotten over to read the other entries. And, I'm pretty sure I never finished coming to your blogs to say goodbye. I got kinda out of order from my blogroll and lost track of where I was. So, if I come to your blog with my goodbyes more than once, bare with me. Thinking of you all, missing you, and wishing you all the best.
Labels: appreciation, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, child parts, comfort, connection, inner child, therapy, triggers
July 21, 2010
Freedom Is A Natural High
For this month's Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, our host, Dr. Kathleen Young, wanted to do an Independence or Freedom theme in honor of Independence Day (July 4th) here in the U.S. My recent wilderness camping trip really got me thinking about when I feel the most free. It is definitely when I am out in nature.When I am looking at a glorious sunset, taking a wildflower hike or watching birds, I feel like everything can be right with the world. At these precious moments, I believe that I totally belong. I am not a freak or an alien, but part of the intricate web of life.
Maybe the nature fix is so good for me because I've grieved over the fact that the "parenting" I received as a child was anything but natural. It is not natural for a mother to have no protective instinct for her offspring. It is not natural when predators reduce their victims to something less than human; stripping them of their inborn right to humanity, respect and dignity.
This leads me to another thing that Dr. Young said when she called for submissions for this carnival: "My first thought was how fitting, given that today we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S. I then started thinking about the meaning of independence for survivors and our culture as a whole. For me, this naturally leads to thoughts about dependence, unmet dependency needs and interdependence." I believe that all God's creatures are interdependent because we are all connected. What we choose to do in our lives has global and universal consequences. Because we are all connected, we cannot pretend that our actions do not effect the lives of beloved, divine others.
I also firmly believe that people who are damaged and afraid--not willing to look at the wounds they need to heal--allow evil to enter in because they do not feel connected. They don't feel connected to God, to nature, to other human beings.
Maybe, for me, it was something as simple as my constant habit of tree climbing during my childhood summers that kept me open to my connection with nature. Whatever it was, I have always found nature healing and comforting. I'm so glad that my love of nature helped me to stay connected to the divine and, eventually, succeed at breaking the multi-generational cycle of abuse from my "family" of origin.
I now have a new family that I've created with my husband and son. And, I will always have my universal family; a belonging with all God's creation.I belong.
I am connected.
And I am free.
Labels: advocacy, aftermath, appreciation, beauty, being human, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, breaking the cycle, comfort, freedom, grounding, human dignity
March 29, 2010
Aware AND Alive: Finding Joy
Hey, folks. I'm back from Spring Break. We couldn't afford to fly anywhere this year and my husband wanted to save money by camping instead of staying in a hotel. I was afraid we were going to freeze our buns off! We had to drive all the way down to Sedona, AZ to find some sunshine and warmth, but it was worth the long road trip. We camped in Oak Creek Canyon where it was gorgeous. I've never slept so well on a camping trip. The sound of the creek was a wonderful lullaby!
Now that I'm back, I'm reading the posts in this month's Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Mike at Child Abuse Survivor had such a wonderful idea. To help celebrate his Irish heritage and the Irish humor he so appreciates, Mike set up a theme for this edition of humor, joy and survivors finding happiness.
You know, child abuse is such a serious subject and we do need to be warriors fighting against it, raising awareness and working for prevention and recovery. But, we can also celebrate survivors finding joy, humor and a sense of wholeness and happiness. That's the whole reason I decided a long time ago to name my dot com site and my blog Survivors Can Thrive! Don't we all want to emerge from surviving and start thriving in our lives? Sometimes, while I'm down in the trenches of my own recovery, working on my healing, I forget that. Thanks for the reminder, Mike!
Yes, thanks indeed, Mike, for coming up with such an inspired theme. I am smiling reading these posts. I so appreciate our survivor solidarity where we can share our sorrows and our joys. Thanks to all for participating and thank you, in advance, for going to the carnival, reading and sharing your comments on the posts. You'll be glad you stopped by. Go get a smile! :)
Now that I'm back, I'm reading the posts in this month's Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Mike at Child Abuse Survivor had such a wonderful idea. To help celebrate his Irish heritage and the Irish humor he so appreciates, Mike set up a theme for this edition of humor, joy and survivors finding happiness.
You know, child abuse is such a serious subject and we do need to be warriors fighting against it, raising awareness and working for prevention and recovery. But, we can also celebrate survivors finding joy, humor and a sense of wholeness and happiness. That's the whole reason I decided a long time ago to name my dot com site and my blog Survivors Can Thrive! Don't we all want to emerge from surviving and start thriving in our lives? Sometimes, while I'm down in the trenches of my own recovery, working on my healing, I forget that. Thanks for the reminder, Mike!
Yes, thanks indeed, Mike, for coming up with such an inspired theme. I am smiling reading these posts. I so appreciate our survivor solidarity where we can share our sorrows and our joys. Thanks to all for participating and thank you, in advance, for going to the carnival, reading and sharing your comments on the posts. You'll be glad you stopped by. Go get a smile! :)
Labels: appreciation, beauty, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, child abuse, comfort, community, gratitude, healing, hope, inner child, journey, Poetry, thrive
July 27, 2009
Licking My Wounds & Art Therapy
I've spent the last several days "licking my wounds." Although the pain of my mother's betrayal feels like having my skin ripped off, I've taken the time to really indulge in some self-care lately. I have also just taken the time out to grieve. Although there has been a lot of pain and a lot of tears, I have also had some rare moments of unique peace.
Thank you all for your kind comments. There were some things written in the comment section of my last post that I hadn't really realized before. Seeing those sentiments in black and white was very helpful to me. I appreciate you all so much. Our Survivor Solidarity is awesome!
Another thing I'm finding helpful is my art therapy through collage over at Polyvore. Let me share a couple of recent compilations.
This piece is called "Return to Wonder." I wish we--as child abuse survivors--could all go back and NOT know what we shouldn't have known as young children...return to innocence and wonder.
This piece reminds me that maybe--just a little at least--I'm coming out of the dark and into the green, the growing...the light. Also, that maybe I can grow something out of all the dark, black dirt that I have. I wish you all much rest, peace and blessings on your own journeys of recovery, healing, dirt-digging, reaching for the light, and growing beautiful things out of the muck.
Thank you all for your kind comments. There were some things written in the comment section of my last post that I hadn't really realized before. Seeing those sentiments in black and white was very helpful to me. I appreciate you all so much. Our Survivor Solidarity is awesome!
Another thing I'm finding helpful is my art therapy through collage over at Polyvore. Let me share a couple of recent compilations.
This piece is called "Return to Wonder." I wish we--as child abuse survivors--could all go back and NOT know what we shouldn't have known as young children...return to innocence and wonder.
This piece reminds me that maybe--just a little at least--I'm coming out of the dark and into the green, the growing...the light. Also, that maybe I can grow something out of all the dark, black dirt that I have. I wish you all much rest, peace and blessings on your own journeys of recovery, healing, dirt-digging, reaching for the light, and growing beautiful things out of the muck.
Labels: appreciation, beauty, collage, comfort, community, grieving, healing, recovery, self-care, support, survivor art
March 03, 2008
Updates & Reminders
Me again! Well, it's 9:37 in the morning, here where I live, and my son is still in bed. Another night of insomnia last night for him. I definitely had my suspicions, but now I think I'm seeing the start of a trend. Almost every day, my precious offspring begs not to go to school. Now, he's starting to get those "Sunday Night Blues," like I used to get when I was dreading going back into a job I hated on Monday.
I feel that most of his anxiety symptoms revolve around the school issue as well. An offshoot of that is that he's very nervous about where he'll be going to middle school next year--sixth grade. I started out thinking, "What a lot of pressure to put on young kids. We will simply make it a non-issue and my son will walk to the nearest middle school." Unfortunately--or maybe fortunately--our district has open enrollment and you get to choose where to send your kid. There's another school that has a special program that I think will really meet D's needs much more appropriately.
However, he doesn't know anyone going to that school, so he doesn't want to go there. *Sigh* I'm sure we're going to have a big fight on our hands about it. I hate pushing my kid toward anything he feels really scared about with the assertion that "It's for your own good." A lot of really traumatic and abusive things were done to me as a child under this guise. I've just grown to think, after a lot of research, that this other school--and its specialized program and caring teachers--could really help my son focus on his strengths, boost his self-esteem, and feel good about attending school again. God, I pray that this can happen.
The three of us--me, hubby and child--go in for a consultation on Friday with a guy who comes highly recommended to help special needs kids like our son. One of the things I like about the sounds of him is that he looks for lots of alternatives to pharmaceutical medications. *crosses fingers*
Thank you all so much for your concern, caring comments, thoughts, vibes and prayers on this matter. Please continue to send out positive vibes for our Friday appointment. Thanks in advance! You guys rock and I appreciate you so much. :)
A reminder: The March BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE is coming up and will be here before you know it--Friday, March 14. Enola is hosting and I just know she is going to be an outstanding host! Check out her announcement and call for submissions here. This month's theme is about Spring and new beginnings. Won't you join us for this awareness-raising, supportive event?
I feel that most of his anxiety symptoms revolve around the school issue as well. An offshoot of that is that he's very nervous about where he'll be going to middle school next year--sixth grade. I started out thinking, "What a lot of pressure to put on young kids. We will simply make it a non-issue and my son will walk to the nearest middle school." Unfortunately--or maybe fortunately--our district has open enrollment and you get to choose where to send your kid. There's another school that has a special program that I think will really meet D's needs much more appropriately.
However, he doesn't know anyone going to that school, so he doesn't want to go there. *Sigh* I'm sure we're going to have a big fight on our hands about it. I hate pushing my kid toward anything he feels really scared about with the assertion that "It's for your own good." A lot of really traumatic and abusive things were done to me as a child under this guise. I've just grown to think, after a lot of research, that this other school--and its specialized program and caring teachers--could really help my son focus on his strengths, boost his self-esteem, and feel good about attending school again. God, I pray that this can happen.
The three of us--me, hubby and child--go in for a consultation on Friday with a guy who comes highly recommended to help special needs kids like our son. One of the things I like about the sounds of him is that he looks for lots of alternatives to pharmaceutical medications. *crosses fingers*
Thank you all so much for your concern, caring comments, thoughts, vibes and prayers on this matter. Please continue to send out positive vibes for our Friday appointment. Thanks in advance! You guys rock and I appreciate you so much. :)
A reminder: The March BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE is coming up and will be here before you know it--Friday, March 14. Enola is hosting and I just know she is going to be an outstanding host! Check out her announcement and call for submissions here. This month's theme is about Spring and new beginnings. Won't you join us for this awareness-raising, supportive event?
Labels: abuse, appreciation, awareness, Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, blog carnivals, gratitude, support, trauma
April 20, 2006
Angela Shelton on Lifetime
Thank you, kind, compassionate, thoughtful peoples of the Internet. Thanks for the PM's (that's a term we use on some of the forums I'm on), e-mails and kind words that actually got through in a few instances with the Blogger comment clog. I appreciate your well-wishes, thoughts and prayers.
The bad news is I've been sick. Eewww! Yuck! Really sick kind of sick. And I'm not bouncing back as fast as I'd like--perhaps because I got too dehydrated. The good news is that we are starting to see some positive results already through my son's therapy. It's the kind of thing where you go to an expert and they teach you a bunch of therapy techniques to use at home. Daily. As in every two hours. I feel like a walking egg timer!
Ah, well. Nature, in her infinite wisdom, decided me being sick was the only way to go. "Too much stress! Too much running around. Not enough sleep. You WILL rest. Now! Wham!"
So, now I'm getting some rest. And my son is already showing improvement. It will all be more than worth it if I continue to hear the rare phrase, "Mommy, I feel good!" Music to my ears.
Here's what's happening on "The Movement" front. That's what Angela Shelton calls the effort to stop the silence and break the cycle of abuse. Speaking of Angela Shelton, her movie, Searching for Angela Shelton will make its exclusive television debut on Lifetime this Saturday. The special one-hour version of the film includes never-before-seen footage and will air on the cable network Saturday, April 22 at 11:00 p.m. Eastern & Pacific time. You can check the schedule here: www.lifetimetv.com. Lifetime also has message boards where you can share ideas and comments about the film.
You can see a trailer of the film here: www.searchingforangelashelton.com. You might also want to check out Angela's personal blog at www.angelashelton.com/weblog. If you visit, prepare yourself for Angela's frank, in-your-face discussions. She doesn't sugar-coat anything. I love this woman's energy, courage and honesty!
The bad news is I've been sick. Eewww! Yuck! Really sick kind of sick. And I'm not bouncing back as fast as I'd like--perhaps because I got too dehydrated. The good news is that we are starting to see some positive results already through my son's therapy. It's the kind of thing where you go to an expert and they teach you a bunch of therapy techniques to use at home. Daily. As in every two hours. I feel like a walking egg timer!
Ah, well. Nature, in her infinite wisdom, decided me being sick was the only way to go. "Too much stress! Too much running around. Not enough sleep. You WILL rest. Now! Wham!"
So, now I'm getting some rest. And my son is already showing improvement. It will all be more than worth it if I continue to hear the rare phrase, "Mommy, I feel good!" Music to my ears.
Here's what's happening on "The Movement" front. That's what Angela Shelton calls the effort to stop the silence and break the cycle of abuse. Speaking of Angela Shelton, her movie, Searching for Angela Shelton will make its exclusive television debut on Lifetime this Saturday. The special one-hour version of the film includes never-before-seen footage and will air on the cable network Saturday, April 22 at 11:00 p.m. Eastern & Pacific time. You can check the schedule here: www.lifetimetv.com. Lifetime also has message boards where you can share ideas and comments about the film.
You can see a trailer of the film here: www.searchingforangelashelton.com. You might also want to check out Angela's personal blog at www.angelashelton.com/weblog. If you visit, prepare yourself for Angela's frank, in-your-face discussions. She doesn't sugar-coat anything. I love this woman's energy, courage and honesty!
Labels: advocacy, appreciation, awareness, Searching For Angela Shelton, special needs kids
