May 16, 2009


Things That Make A Difference

I'm taking a break from organizing The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse and Bloggers Unite awareness days and thought I'd just write an update about me and my survivor journey.

I'm feeling quite well right now. In fact, I think I feel so well emotionally, that I haven't caught the nasty cold and cough that my husband has had for a week. It's amazing how that mind-body connection thing works, huh?

I was exhausted from lots of extra trauma processing therapy, so I've been doing some nice things for myself, resting, gardening, etc. I think that's made a difference for me staying physically healthy. During some recent "extra" therapy sessions processing some really icky, terrifying torture memories, I noticed that my IBS had really flared up. But, I took some measures to help with that and I notice that my guts feel better now, too. Yipppeee!

While I was a bit distracted, I got tagged with a couple of bloggy awards. I want everyone to know how much these mean to me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit just how touched and tickled I get receiving these, to be honest. I have some rejected, abandoned, little child parts who still just really want to be liked and accepted. And these awards just seem to go straight to the heart of all that.

First, Cornnut at Picture of Experience has created a whole new award. Is that cool, or what? It's called The Make A Difference Award. Now, as usual, I can't get Cornnut's award graphic to load here, but it has a really great quote on it from JFK that I want to share: "One person can make a difference and every person should try." Excellent, well said, and I so agree!

You know what's amazing? Three days after I received word about this Make a Difference Award, I got a comment from Just Be Real and she's made up her own award as well. Man, I wish I were as cyber savvy as these gals! Just Be Real's award is aptly named, the "Just Be Real" Award. I've always liked the name of her blog and I love the name of this award.

I think one of the reasons I'm so touched at receiving both of these awards is because they recognize what I try to do at my blog:
  1. Make a Difference in the areas of assault survivor advocacy and child abuse awareness and
  2. Be Real, share my story and be real, open and honest with it.
The best part for me is, raising awareness and being real and sharing my story have really helped me in my healing. Another thing I've recently discovered that's helped is art therapy. I originally wanted to major in art therapy in college. But, the state-supported university that I attended did not have a major in art therapy, so I went into commercial art and advertising instead. But, you know what? You don't have to have a degree or seek out a professional art therapist to reap the benefits of art therapy. I've gotten so much out of striking out on my own and trying my hand at poetry, sketching out drawings in my journal and making collages.

I used to make the cut-and-paste type collages with pictures and words clipped from magazines. But, recently I've discovered computer collage at Polyvore. My most recent project is that I'm compiling collages and pairing them with some of my poems.

Here is a recent pairing that I think speaks to my current survivor journey status. Maybe you can relate.

Child Fly Away

Child Fly Away

I love and cherish you
And I know you love me too
Come now and we will dance and play
And then we’ll simply fly away

I can feel your pain
I know they tried to break you
You’re helpless, sad, alone
No peace within

I can tell you’re tired
I see a child who’s tortured
With trying to atone
For unknown sin

Hey, let’s fly away
We’ve struggled with chains too long
Let’s grab this chance so we can see
If we are ever to be free

Why wait here in the dark?
All it can ever show you
Is pain and it’s the pain
That you still fear

I can see the light
In my heart faith remains
And I know that this is it
Our chance is here

I love and cherish you
And now I know you feel love too
Now we can dance and run and play
Then we just simply fly away

Come let’s fly away
We’ll fly away

Copyright 2002 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved

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Congrats on both of your awards.
Might I suggest that you save the JFK award to your desktop,than go to the layout section of your dashboard,on your side click the add a gadget,that click picture and upload the award that way.I did and it worked for me.This way you can display the award on your side bar.
I hope that you have a great weekend.
Thanks for the idea, Mike. Unfortunately, I'm still using the old template format, not layout. I tried to switch to layout not too long ago, but my cyber-klutzy brain just couldn't figure it out. It caused so many problems I just switched back to the old fashioned way. :P
Marj, my series of 5 oil paintings that I did when working to reconnect with my feelings was totally on my own. You can do it. Congratulations on the awards. Like you, I don't have the technical know-how to put my recent awards on my blog either. I tried following directions given me by another blogger and it still didn't happen.
you definitely deserve those awards~ and i think it's great that you wrote about it and admit you like getting them. it's like getting to watch healthy self-love in action! yay :)

and the breaks! that's so great that you give yourself time to relax~ so important for healing. i think sometimes we don't feel like we deserve breaks, we push and push ourselves. thank you for sharing~
Glad you are feel good these days Marj and treating yourself well in doing things you enjoy!

Dear one, I am so very sorry for the "icky and terrifying torutue memories," you experienced recently.

You most certainly do deserve not only my award but all the ones you have and will get in the future!

Blessings and ((((safe hugs))))
Child fly away - this poem is beautiful and touching....Thank you for sharing it with me.
Your strength to carry on, even through the bad days inspires me.
~ Grace
Patricia: thanks for the art therapy encouragement. And about loading the award graphics: I'm glad I'm not the only one. :P

Thanks, Mountainmama! Yes, I've had to work on taking breaks. I used to push myself--literally--until I dropped. No more!

JBR: Awwww! Thanks! You know you have a sweetness that comes through in your writing like nobody else. You rock!

Grace: You're welcome for the sharing and thank you for what you said about the inspiring. I'm touched!
Lovely collage and poem. And you sooooo deserve the awards!
well done for the awards and a great post also

can you subby these for me for the carnival

Thank you so much, April!

Thanks to you, too, JIP and no problem: I will submit those posts for you for the blog carnival.
JBR: Thanks, as always, for those hugs. Backatcha! (((((((:-)))))))
WOW, this is amazing, and you are deserving of the awards. hugs to you. thanks for the support. the poem has brought a great deal of reflection...i am on to reading about fibro...i have that...yes I have heard of it. can't wait to see what you wrote...
Mile 191: Thanks for reflecting on this poem. That's neat. But, I'm sorry to hear you suffer with fibro. That sucks.
Congrats on your success! Glad to hear your doing well. That is what I love to hear from survivors!

Beautiful poem! Keep at it!
Thanks, Erin! Yep, that's one of the first poems I wrote. I can hardly believe I've been writing poetry for about seven years now.
O how I am moved by this beautiful collage and your touching poem!
Thank you for being a lifter and for showing us the way to lift in return.
Wow! Thanks for saying that, Vicki!
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