June 10, 2008
Therapy for Everybody!
Well dang! I'm noticing that it's Tuesday already and I'm not quite getting that "aaahh, that's better" feeling; catching up on things with my son at his computer day camp this week. This morning, I felt quite stressed out, as a matter of fact. Seems I'm running from appointment to appointment and there isn't any big chunk of time in between for all that catching up on things I wanted to do.
Do you know? I'm in therapy...my son is in therapy...we're going to family therapy to work on communicating about our challenges and issues better....and even the dog is in therapy! Can you believe it? Seems like a little overkill doesn't it?
Well, I had to do something. We were reaching critical meltdown at the end of the school year: It seemed like every week I was getting a negative call from one of the teachers at my son's school; and my son and husband were yelling at each other; and I had to pull my dog off of some poor, unsuspecting walking dog on the bike path next to our house! Aaaaccckkkk! It was out of control!
It appears that trauma has even leaked over into the canine world around here. The pattern that I've picked up on is that my dog gets all stressed out, then aggressive with other female dogs.
See, there's this dog in the neighborhood that I've had problems with (well, her owner, actually). I've had several conversations with this dog's owner, to no avail. This other dog is also a female and is allowed to roam freely around the neighborhood. I'm surprised she hasn't been hit by a car by now. She also has a very territorial, "I'm-the-alpha-female-around-here" attitude. Unless I'm diligent and keep them apart, this other female nails my dog every time they come in contact with each other. There's never been any blood drawn or physical injuries. But, the trainer I'm taking my dog to now says she definitely thinks this other dog has traumatized my dog. Oh, goody!
Anyway, I took my dog, Lyla, to the trainer at 10:00 this morning. That made somewhere I had to be at 8:00, 9:00 and then 10:00 just so far today. Whew! I need a vacation!
In fact, I'm going to do that at the end of this month. I'm also thinking about just letting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse go on Summer hiatus until the fall. Then, I've got some bloggy book tours I've promised to do. I'm hoping we can weave them into the blog carnival in some way. While we're taking a break, can I get some of you to sign up for monthly hosting slots in the fall? Start thinking about it, okay? Then, just leave a comment or e-mail me.
So, I called the doctor I've been working with on my TOC for my arm/shoulder and I cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. An appointment I can't cancel is with my T on Thursday. Yippy, skippy, oh boy! That surgery I had for the skin cancer has, apparently, dredged up an old torture/abuse memory that I need to work on. Maybe after that, I just might take a dissociative therapy hiatus as well.
What I'm really enjoying working on right now is a project I have in my yard. I'm doing all the design and landscaping work myself. I should have taken "before" pictures, because it's really amazing the changes that are occurring out there. We live in fairly new construction and all that was in my backyard was mulch before. There's a huge slope to my backyard, so all the wood chips have washed down to the fence at the edge of the yard--that left weeds and dirt! Lovely! So, now I'm building an enormous rock garden instead of a retaining wall, to keep everything from migrating down the slope. And I'm putting in a flagstone path with "stepable," ground-cover plants in between instead of a lawn I have to water and mow.
If I can figure out how to do it, I may post some photos of my project. I gotta say, I sure like this sort of work better than therapy!
Okay, so there's an updated blog post. And, I promise I will get around to some blogs this week. I will try my best to also catch up on some of the requests I've gotten in bloggy land. I also hope to do some house cleaning on my template. You know, links and stuff. BTW, does anybody know how to compress the archives for old blog posts? That sidebar list is getting a bit long, wouldn't you agree? Please don't anybody take it personally that I'm so far behind in cyber land. As you can see, there are many areas I need to catch up on, in addition to commenting at other blogs. I'm also behind on everything here at home. I've GOT to get to the grocery store and I estimate I have seven or eight loads of laundry to do. Loads number one and two are working in the washer and dryer as I blog now.
But, the Blog Carnival is on hold for a few months. I hope we can all live with that. Something's just gotta give, ya know? And I'm not willing for it to be my physical or emotional health.
See y'all around the blogosphere!
Do you know? I'm in therapy...my son is in therapy...we're going to family therapy to work on communicating about our challenges and issues better....and even the dog is in therapy! Can you believe it? Seems like a little overkill doesn't it?
Well, I had to do something. We were reaching critical meltdown at the end of the school year: It seemed like every week I was getting a negative call from one of the teachers at my son's school; and my son and husband were yelling at each other; and I had to pull my dog off of some poor, unsuspecting walking dog on the bike path next to our house! Aaaaccckkkk! It was out of control!
It appears that trauma has even leaked over into the canine world around here. The pattern that I've picked up on is that my dog gets all stressed out, then aggressive with other female dogs.
See, there's this dog in the neighborhood that I've had problems with (well, her owner, actually). I've had several conversations with this dog's owner, to no avail. This other dog is also a female and is allowed to roam freely around the neighborhood. I'm surprised she hasn't been hit by a car by now. She also has a very territorial, "I'm-the-alpha-female-around-here" attitude. Unless I'm diligent and keep them apart, this other female nails my dog every time they come in contact with each other. There's never been any blood drawn or physical injuries. But, the trainer I'm taking my dog to now says she definitely thinks this other dog has traumatized my dog. Oh, goody!
Anyway, I took my dog, Lyla, to the trainer at 10:00 this morning. That made somewhere I had to be at 8:00, 9:00 and then 10:00 just so far today. Whew! I need a vacation!
In fact, I'm going to do that at the end of this month. I'm also thinking about just letting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse go on Summer hiatus until the fall. Then, I've got some bloggy book tours I've promised to do. I'm hoping we can weave them into the blog carnival in some way. While we're taking a break, can I get some of you to sign up for monthly hosting slots in the fall? Start thinking about it, okay? Then, just leave a comment or e-mail me.
So, I called the doctor I've been working with on my TOC for my arm/shoulder and I cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. An appointment I can't cancel is with my T on Thursday. Yippy, skippy, oh boy! That surgery I had for the skin cancer has, apparently, dredged up an old torture/abuse memory that I need to work on. Maybe after that, I just might take a dissociative therapy hiatus as well.
What I'm really enjoying working on right now is a project I have in my yard. I'm doing all the design and landscaping work myself. I should have taken "before" pictures, because it's really amazing the changes that are occurring out there. We live in fairly new construction and all that was in my backyard was mulch before. There's a huge slope to my backyard, so all the wood chips have washed down to the fence at the edge of the yard--that left weeds and dirt! Lovely! So, now I'm building an enormous rock garden instead of a retaining wall, to keep everything from migrating down the slope. And I'm putting in a flagstone path with "stepable," ground-cover plants in between instead of a lawn I have to water and mow.
If I can figure out how to do it, I may post some photos of my project. I gotta say, I sure like this sort of work better than therapy!
Okay, so there's an updated blog post. And, I promise I will get around to some blogs this week. I will try my best to also catch up on some of the requests I've gotten in bloggy land. I also hope to do some house cleaning on my template. You know, links and stuff. BTW, does anybody know how to compress the archives for old blog posts? That sidebar list is getting a bit long, wouldn't you agree? Please don't anybody take it personally that I'm so far behind in cyber land. As you can see, there are many areas I need to catch up on, in addition to commenting at other blogs. I'm also behind on everything here at home. I've GOT to get to the grocery store and I estimate I have seven or eight loads of laundry to do. Loads number one and two are working in the washer and dryer as I blog now.
But, the Blog Carnival is on hold for a few months. I hope we can all live with that. Something's just gotta give, ya know? And I'm not willing for it to be my physical or emotional health.
See y'all around the blogosphere!
Labels: Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, dog training, issues, landscaping, memory work, skin cancer, therapy, TOC, trauma
May 27, 2008
Mohs Update
You may be wondering, "What the heck is a Mohs update?" Well, if you go to the previous post below, you can click on a link about the Mohs procedure I'm having done tomorrow. It's to remove a "skin cancer" spot on my face.
I feel okay about going in tomorrow. Intellectually and logically, I feel fine about it. I talked to a neighbor who is married to a doctor and she commented, "I don't even know why they call those basal cells 'cancer;' that just scares everybody." Uh, yeah. They sure scared me at first. People in the health care field should be more careful when they call somebody up to say, "Well, we got the biopsy report back from the lab and you have cancer." The "C" word is very scary and should be handled with utmost care.
With the type of "skin cancer" I have and the type of procedure they're doing on me tomorrow, it should not come back and I should be free of it very soon. Thanks so much, everybody, for all your comforting words, prayers and support on this matter. As usual, you cyber angels come through for me again!
Now, for the non-intellectual, non-logical side of me who is scared to death about this procedure tomorrow. I talked to my T about it and we both agreed that there is some part activity surrounding this. There is definitely some anxiety about being laid out on a reclining chair with a big light in my face and somebody using a sharp instrument right next to my eye! I guess I shouldn't be at all surprised by this reaction. Going to the dentist usually elicits the same reaction. It's a pretty similar scenario.
Well, to help this fearful situation, I insisted on going into the dermatologist/plastic surgeon's office to look the place over and meet some of the people who will be working with (on) me tomorrow. That helped assuage the fears a bit. Luckily, everyone at this facility seems very compassionate and kind. I knew the secretary was helpful and nice from our phone conversations. Then, I went in and got to meet the nurses and the doctor himself. I also saw the room where I'll be worked on. They told me I can get up out of that chair and move around and ground myself all I want tomorrow.
I will also take my Lorazepam, just to be sure. I've been doing a lot of little-part comforting around this. The meditation, visualization and self-care has been helpful for the last few days. I got really triggered, began sobbing and came really close to hysterically running out of the examining room when I had the initial biopsy done. I'd prefer that it doesn't happen again tomorrow.
Well, keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow, won't you please? I continue to appreciate your continued support. And please continue, okay? Thanks!
I'm off now to try and finish up some work in my garden and my yard. The nurse at the clinic said I should get as much of my yard work done as I can before the procedure tomorrow; I'm supposed to rest afterward.
Oh, one last thing: As I said before, the basal cell spot is right next to my eye. I'd like to request prayers that the surgery does NOT involve my tear duct, as the doctor I met said is a possibility. If it does, it will require additional surgery, and I'd sure like to avoid that!
Thanks again, everybody! You truly are the best! xoxoxxo ((((((((safe hugs to all))))))))
I feel okay about going in tomorrow. Intellectually and logically, I feel fine about it. I talked to a neighbor who is married to a doctor and she commented, "I don't even know why they call those basal cells 'cancer;' that just scares everybody." Uh, yeah. They sure scared me at first. People in the health care field should be more careful when they call somebody up to say, "Well, we got the biopsy report back from the lab and you have cancer." The "C" word is very scary and should be handled with utmost care.
With the type of "skin cancer" I have and the type of procedure they're doing on me tomorrow, it should not come back and I should be free of it very soon. Thanks so much, everybody, for all your comforting words, prayers and support on this matter. As usual, you cyber angels come through for me again!
Now, for the non-intellectual, non-logical side of me who is scared to death about this procedure tomorrow. I talked to my T about it and we both agreed that there is some part activity surrounding this. There is definitely some anxiety about being laid out on a reclining chair with a big light in my face and somebody using a sharp instrument right next to my eye! I guess I shouldn't be at all surprised by this reaction. Going to the dentist usually elicits the same reaction. It's a pretty similar scenario.
Well, to help this fearful situation, I insisted on going into the dermatologist/plastic surgeon's office to look the place over and meet some of the people who will be working with (on) me tomorrow. That helped assuage the fears a bit. Luckily, everyone at this facility seems very compassionate and kind. I knew the secretary was helpful and nice from our phone conversations. Then, I went in and got to meet the nurses and the doctor himself. I also saw the room where I'll be worked on. They told me I can get up out of that chair and move around and ground myself all I want tomorrow.
I will also take my Lorazepam, just to be sure. I've been doing a lot of little-part comforting around this. The meditation, visualization and self-care has been helpful for the last few days. I got really triggered, began sobbing and came really close to hysterically running out of the examining room when I had the initial biopsy done. I'd prefer that it doesn't happen again tomorrow.
Well, keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow, won't you please? I continue to appreciate your continued support. And please continue, okay? Thanks!
I'm off now to try and finish up some work in my garden and my yard. The nurse at the clinic said I should get as much of my yard work done as I can before the procedure tomorrow; I'm supposed to rest afterward.
Oh, one last thing: As I said before, the basal cell spot is right next to my eye. I'd like to request prayers that the surgery does NOT involve my tear duct, as the doctor I met said is a possibility. If it does, it will require additional surgery, and I'd sure like to avoid that!
Thanks again, everybody! You truly are the best! xoxoxxo ((((((((safe hugs to all))))))))
Labels: basal cell, comfort, community, gratitude, grounding, mohs procudure, skin cancer, support
May 20, 2008
I'm Finally "In" My Body And Now It's Falling Apart!
Whoa! I was all set to put up a very positive, fun, upbeat post...and then I got a phone call that stopped me in my tracks.
*&*^%$##@*! I have skin cancer!
I had two "moles" removed about a week ago and just got the biopsy results. I'm way more upset about it than I thought I would be.
Boy, life sure is ironic, isn't it? The positive, upbeat post I was going to write was about pleasant surprises and thoughtful friends and peaceful, grounding connected-to-the-earth time spent gardening lately.
I've lived in Colorado almost ten years now. I love it here. One of the things I love the most is the sunshine. With spring finally here, I feel like a new person. I've been outside enjoying getting my hands in the soil and planting things. We get over 300 days of sunshine a year here.
Unfortunately, this has led to my skin cancer, most likely. A strange bump showed up about four years ago--that was five years into living in Colorado. At first I thought it was a wart. Then, I was convinced it was a new-to-show-up mole.
Turns out, it's a basal cell carcinoma. I've been crying some this morning, but I feel a bit better after googling the skin cancer type I have. I guess the recovery rate is excellent for the type of cancer I have and the type of surgery they are going to do on me. It's called The Mohs procedure, or Mohs Micrographic Surgery. They've got me scheduled for Wednesday, 5/28. Unfortunately, the full recovery rates they give are for early treatment. My "mole" was left on there for four years! Yikes! That's scary.
Also, unfortunately, this nasty bump is on my face--right next to my eye! (It's kinda between the corner of my eye and my nose.) Now I'm not a high maintenance sort of woman. I have a very easy wash-and-go hairstyle, am not really into fashion and I hardly ever wear makeup. (I do, however, wear sunscreen all the time.)
Of all the damn moles I have all over my body, this nasty cancer has to be right on my face. (The other one, which is not cancerous at all, was on my leg.) I guess I am actually that vain that this bothers me a lot. Also, I have a neighbor who has skin cancer and it's really bad and he's quite disfigured from it. He's in his 70's though. I'm not even 50 yet!
Aaaaccckkk! Between this and my recent diagnosis of Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, I feel like my body is falling apart! Hhhmmmmm....I'm not sure I like this "being in my body" stuff that is so new to me. Hey, say a prayer or two will ya? Thanks!
*&*^%$##@*! I have skin cancer!
I had two "moles" removed about a week ago and just got the biopsy results. I'm way more upset about it than I thought I would be.
Boy, life sure is ironic, isn't it? The positive, upbeat post I was going to write was about pleasant surprises and thoughtful friends and peaceful, grounding connected-to-the-earth time spent gardening lately.
I've lived in Colorado almost ten years now. I love it here. One of the things I love the most is the sunshine. With spring finally here, I feel like a new person. I've been outside enjoying getting my hands in the soil and planting things. We get over 300 days of sunshine a year here.
Unfortunately, this has led to my skin cancer, most likely. A strange bump showed up about four years ago--that was five years into living in Colorado. At first I thought it was a wart. Then, I was convinced it was a new-to-show-up mole.
Turns out, it's a basal cell carcinoma. I've been crying some this morning, but I feel a bit better after googling the skin cancer type I have. I guess the recovery rate is excellent for the type of cancer I have and the type of surgery they are going to do on me. It's called The Mohs procedure, or Mohs Micrographic Surgery. They've got me scheduled for Wednesday, 5/28. Unfortunately, the full recovery rates they give are for early treatment. My "mole" was left on there for four years! Yikes! That's scary.
Also, unfortunately, this nasty bump is on my face--right next to my eye! (It's kinda between the corner of my eye and my nose.) Now I'm not a high maintenance sort of woman. I have a very easy wash-and-go hairstyle, am not really into fashion and I hardly ever wear makeup. (I do, however, wear sunscreen all the time.)
Of all the damn moles I have all over my body, this nasty cancer has to be right on my face. (The other one, which is not cancerous at all, was on my leg.) I guess I am actually that vain that this bothers me a lot. Also, I have a neighbor who has skin cancer and it's really bad and he's quite disfigured from it. He's in his 70's though. I'm not even 50 yet!
Aaaaccckkk! Between this and my recent diagnosis of Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, I feel like my body is falling apart! Hhhmmmmm....I'm not sure I like this "being in my body" stuff that is so new to me. Hey, say a prayer or two will ya? Thanks!
Labels: body connection, irony, skin cancer, sun exposure, thoracic outlet syndrome
