May 27, 2008
I feel okay about going in tomorrow. Intellectually and logically, I feel fine about it. I talked to a neighbor who is married to a doctor and she commented, "I don't even know why they call those basal cells 'cancer;' that just scares everybody." Uh, yeah. They sure scared me at first. People in the health care field should be more careful when they call somebody up to say, "Well, we got the biopsy report back from the lab and you have cancer." The "C" word is very scary and should be handled with utmost care.
With the type of "skin cancer" I have and the type of procedure they're doing on me tomorrow, it should not come back and I should be free of it very soon. Thanks so much, everybody, for all your comforting words, prayers and support on this matter. As usual, you cyber angels come through for me again!
Now, for the non-intellectual, non-logical side of me who is scared to death about this procedure tomorrow. I talked to my T about it and we both agreed that there is some part activity surrounding this. There is definitely some anxiety about being laid out on a reclining chair with a big light in my face and somebody using a sharp instrument right next to my eye! I guess I shouldn't be at all surprised by this reaction. Going to the dentist usually elicits the same reaction. It's a pretty similar scenario.
Well, to help this fearful situation, I insisted on going into the dermatologist/plastic surgeon's office to look the place over and meet some of the people who will be working with (on) me tomorrow. That helped assuage the fears a bit. Luckily, everyone at this facility seems very compassionate and kind. I knew the secretary was helpful and nice from our phone conversations. Then, I went in and got to meet the nurses and the doctor himself. I also saw the room where I'll be worked on. They told me I can get up out of that chair and move around and ground myself all I want tomorrow.
I will also take my Lorazepam, just to be sure. I've been doing a lot of little-part comforting around this. The meditation, visualization and self-care has been helpful for the last few days. I got really triggered, began sobbing and came really close to hysterically running out of the examining room when I had the initial biopsy done. I'd prefer that it doesn't happen again tomorrow.
Well, keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow, won't you please? I continue to appreciate your continued support. And please continue, okay? Thanks!
I'm off now to try and finish up some work in my garden and my yard. The nurse at the clinic said I should get as much of my yard work done as I can before the procedure tomorrow; I'm supposed to rest afterward.
Oh, one last thing: As I said before, the basal cell spot is right next to my eye. I'd like to request prayers that the surgery does NOT involve my tear duct, as the doctor I met said is a possibility. If it does, it will require additional surgery, and I'd sure like to avoid that!
Thanks again, everybody! You truly are the best! xoxoxxo ((((((((safe hugs to all))))))))
By the way, I think I left a very revealing comment on your site, but I purposely buried it in an older post. Could you visit my site and leave a comment as to where it is. Really, I am not trying to direct traffic...I'm worried that I may have the information about myself where I did not intend. Thanks.
I'll be praying for you about your procedure tomorrow!!!
I have had many of these BCC's (basal cell carcinomas) and truly they aren't a big deal. As you know, the only reason for the Mohs is generally cosmetic...for BCC's in certain places they need to take as little skin as possible while being sure they got all the...um, "bad stuff." ;)
This month I have been having so much fun with Efudex that I blogged about my Efudex treatment. A fairly unpleasant month. I am glad it is nearly over.
Warm wishes tomorrow...you'll be fine. Hugs back.
Remember we'll all be right there with you. You're certainly not alone. It will all work out ok.
I like how you are taking care of yourself by looking the place over, familiarizing yourself with the room in which the surgery will take place.
I will be remembering you (and your tear ducts) in my prayers...hang in there, you're going to come through this just fine!
And yes, this surgery reminds me a lot of my familiar triggers with going to the dentist as well.
RR: I felt much better emotionally on Wednesday than I did for the initial biopsy. Thanks for being there in spirit with your support.
Beauty: Hurray! It didn't end up involving my tear duct. Whew! Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and I'll put up a full update soon.
Barbara, Keepers & Perfect: Thanks for continuing to think of me. The surgery went quite well. I'll get a complete update up soon. You guys are the best! thanks for all the caring everyone! :)
You're in my prayers. I hope all went well and you are recovering peacefully. Looking forward to the next post letting us know how you are doing.
(((healing hugs))), MW
*sending good thoughts out for you*
Toni: thanks for visiting. Maybe when you return, things will be a little more business-as-usual around here. You may want to get involved in the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse with us!
((((Hugs)))) and prayers. By now you will have had the surgery. I hope all went well and that recovery goes smoothly.