June 10, 2008


Therapy for Everybody!

Well dang! I'm noticing that it's Tuesday already and I'm not quite getting that "aaahh, that's better" feeling; catching up on things with my son at his computer day camp this week. This morning, I felt quite stressed out, as a matter of fact. Seems I'm running from appointment to appointment and there isn't any big chunk of time in between for all that catching up on things I wanted to do.

Do you know? I'm in therapy...my son is in therapy...we're going to family therapy to work on communicating about our challenges and issues better....and even the dog is in therapy! Can you believe it? Seems like a little overkill doesn't it?

Well, I had to do something. We were reaching critical meltdown at the end of the school year: It seemed like every week I was getting a negative call from one of the teachers at my son's school; and my son and husband were yelling at each other; and I had to pull my dog off of some poor, unsuspecting walking dog on the bike path next to our house! Aaaaccckkkk! It was out of control!

It appears that trauma has even leaked over into the canine world around here. The pattern that I've picked up on is that my dog gets all stressed out, then aggressive with other female dogs.

See, there's this dog in the neighborhood that I've had problems with (well, her owner, actually). I've had several conversations with this dog's owner, to no avail. This other dog is also a female and is allowed to roam freely around the neighborhood. I'm surprised she hasn't been hit by a car by now. She also has a very territorial, "I'm-the-alpha-female-around-here" attitude. Unless I'm diligent and keep them apart, this other female nails my dog every time they come in contact with each other. There's never been any blood drawn or physical injuries. But, the trainer I'm taking my dog to now says she definitely thinks this other dog has traumatized my dog. Oh, goody!

Anyway, I took my dog, Lyla, to the trainer at 10:00 this morning. That made somewhere I had to be at 8:00, 9:00 and then 10:00 just so far today. Whew! I need a vacation!

In fact, I'm going to do that at the end of this month. I'm also thinking about just letting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse go on Summer hiatus until the fall. Then, I've got some bloggy book tours I've promised to do. I'm hoping we can weave them into the blog carnival in some way. While we're taking a break, can I get some of you to sign up for monthly hosting slots in the fall? Start thinking about it, okay? Then, just leave a comment or e-mail me.

So, I called the doctor I've been working with on my TOC for my arm/shoulder and I cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. An appointment I can't cancel is with my T on Thursday. Yippy, skippy, oh boy! That surgery I had for the skin cancer has, apparently, dredged up an old torture/abuse memory that I need to work on. Maybe after that, I just might take a dissociative therapy hiatus as well.

What I'm really enjoying working on right now is a project I have in my yard. I'm doing all the design and landscaping work myself. I should have taken "before" pictures, because it's really amazing the changes that are occurring out there. We live in fairly new construction and all that was in my backyard was mulch before. There's a huge slope to my backyard, so all the wood chips have washed down to the fence at the edge of the yard--that left weeds and dirt! Lovely! So, now I'm building an enormous rock garden instead of a retaining wall, to keep everything from migrating down the slope. And I'm putting in a flagstone path with "stepable," ground-cover plants in between instead of a lawn I have to water and mow.

If I can figure out how to do it, I may post some photos of my project. I gotta say, I sure like this sort of work better than therapy!

Okay, so there's an updated blog post. And, I promise I will get around to some blogs this week. I will try my best to also catch up on some of the requests I've gotten in bloggy land. I also hope to do some house cleaning on my template. You know, links and stuff. BTW, does anybody know how to compress the archives for old blog posts? That sidebar list is getting a bit long, wouldn't you agree? Please don't anybody take it personally that I'm so far behind in cyber land. As you can see, there are many areas I need to catch up on, in addition to commenting at other blogs. I'm also behind on everything here at home. I've GOT to get to the grocery store and I estimate I have seven or eight loads of laundry to do. Loads number one and two are working in the washer and dryer as I blog now.

But, the Blog Carnival is on hold for a few months. I hope we can all live with that. Something's just gotta give, ya know? And I'm not willing for it to be my physical or emotional health.

See y'all around the blogosphere!

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Why would I take it personally? I think it's great that you're able to take time for yourself and your family, including the dog. :)

Keep moving forward and healing and growing and learning. It's the only way. Now if I could only do that for myself.

Okay, I'm tired. Are you taking care of yourself by planning what is doable each day or letting what "needs" to be done take over? Just asking. What do you mean it is already Tuesday, isn't there still more than half a week to go.

LOL!! About even the dog being in therapy, but I feel badly for her.

Hang in there and take care of yourself.
It makes perfect sense to me that your dog would pick up on the negative energy of the rest of the family. It goes the same with horses, if you're around them when you're really stressed, they're going to get stressed.
Brian: I wish all that for both of us. Thanks for the hugs.

Clueless: Well, I am going to go with a friend for a long weekend at the end of the month for a "girl's retreat!"

RR: Yeah, you're right. I noticed a big change in her the day I got the news about the "skin cancer."
Dear marj

Dogs will definitely pick up on what is going on with the people in the house, we've blogged about our Shakespeare before so we won't go into that but yes, they are unique to us in how they pick up on our stresses and emotions and such. Please be careful and pace yourself,

peace and blessings

What can we do to help out? Do you need someone to do a blog carnival in the summer? I'd be willing to do that if it didn't mean adding stress to you.
Egads, Marjie, how hectic can life be?

I was so pleased to discover you'd written a new post, then after reading it I just felt bad for you with all you're dealing with. But it does sound as if you're choosing your priorities, and taking care of yourself as best you can. I'm glad to hear you plan a retreat at the end of the month!

I say take a sabbatical from the Blog Carnival if that's what you need to do. I might volunteer again--but I'd better see where I'm at come fall before committing myself to playing host.

Hope the rest of your week goes a bit smoother. Please do post photos of your landscaping, if you can figure out how.
PS I don't know how to do the archive thingy on Blogger. I use Squarespace, which I think is much different.
Keepers: You got that right about dogs! I am trying to pace myself more. That's why I cancelled my appointment for today, so I could have more time for me and self-care. I'm taking my little parts to a dollhouse miniatures shop this afternoon! :)

Enola: thanks so much for your thoughtful offer. Since I still have to maintain the carnival, I think I'd get more rest if I just do the hiatus. Would you like to host in the fall, though?

Beauty: I AM looking so forward to my end-of-month retreat. Yeeehaaawww! I may post landscaping photos, if figuring out how to use my digital camera doesn't stress me out too much! ;P Thanks for the offer about the archives. I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually...just like I have so many other things. I may not be cyber-savvy, but I usually get a clue in time!
My 2 dogs have picked up on my feelings lately, they won't leave my side. Mary
Dogs sure can pick up on things, My two dogs, won't leave my side, because they know I am very depressed and sad..Mary
Mary: I'm glad your dogs can be a comfort to you. I hope that you are dealing with grief more than depression. I, myself, usually find much more relief when I do my necessary grief work. I've got some I need to do right now, as a matter of fact! Thanks for the reminder.
Ooops! Blogger is messing with me again. TEST?!
Hello :)

This is how I compressed my archives. I will start at the very beginning.

When you arrive on your blog page, and after you have signed in, click "Customize".

Then click settings.

Then click Archiving.

Archive frequency.....monthly

Enable post pages.....yes

Click save.

Hope this helps.
Good for you taking time you need!

(((Hugs))) on all the struggles. And yeah, our collie used to pick up on the emotions in the house all the time.

Very cool about the landscaping.
Darlene: thanks for you thoughtful willingness to help me with the archives. Unfortunately, I already have my blog archiving monthly. What I'm hoping to do beyond that is compress 2005, 2006 & 2007, each with its own drop-down thingy. I only want to keep individual months visible for the year we're in--2008.

April: thanks for the comment...and the hugs. Right back at ya! ((((((April))))))
at least youve done what most cant/wont and thats accept that your family needs therapy to.
JIP: Yeah! You're right! Most of us don't give enough thought to our mental health. Good for us! Thanks for your support! :)
My due date is the end of September. I'll be at home but busy with a new baby. Let me see how that works out before I commit for the fall.
Oh, Enola: You are so sweet to consider hosting at all with your due date right when we stop the carnival hiatus. I think what I'll do is take the first fall month myself, just to get something on the calendar so Blog Carnival dot com doesn't bump us off or something. Then, I'll take it to the hosts. Thanks for your response. We'll be in touch. I understand that your family is your first priority. Hope your pregnancy is going okay and you're feeling well. Both of my sister's babies were born in the summer and I know it's tough being pregnant in the heat!
I would love to do a carnival in the fall. I've never hosted before so I'm sure I'll need some guidance. But count me in!

Take care of yourself!!!
Wonderful, Perfect! Thanks. I will count you in. And I'm sure you will be a wonderful host. I've walked many first-time hosts through the process and I know you'll do fine! :)
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