July 21, 2010
Freedom Is A Natural High
When I am looking at a glorious sunset, taking a wildflower hike or watching birds, I feel like everything can be right with the world. At these precious moments, I believe that I totally belong. I am not a freak or an alien, but part of the intricate web of life.
Maybe the nature fix is so good for me because I've grieved over the fact that the "parenting" I received as a child was anything but natural. It is not natural for a mother to have no protective instinct for her offspring. It is not natural when predators reduce their victims to something less than human; stripping them of their inborn right to humanity, respect and dignity.
This leads me to another thing that Dr. Young said when she called for submissions for this carnival: "My first thought was how fitting, given that today we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S. I then started thinking about the meaning of independence for survivors and our culture as a whole. For me, this naturally leads to thoughts about dependence, unmet dependency needs and interdependence." I believe that all God's creatures are interdependent because we are all connected. What we choose to do in our lives has global and universal consequences. Because we are all connected, we cannot pretend that our actions do not effect the lives of beloved, divine others.
I also firmly believe that people who are damaged and afraid--not willing to look at the wounds they need to heal--allow evil to enter in because they do not feel connected. They don't feel connected to God, to nature, to other human beings.
Maybe, for me, it was something as simple as my constant habit of tree climbing during my childhood summers that kept me open to my connection with nature. Whatever it was, I have always found nature healing and comforting. I'm so glad that my love of nature helped me to stay connected to the divine and, eventually, succeed at breaking the multi-generational cycle of abuse from my "family" of origin.
I now have a new family that I've created with my husband and son. And, I will always have my universal family; a belonging with all God's creation.
I am connected.
And I am free.
Colleen: Oh, thanks for saying that, deary! I was so tired from trying to get the photos in this post to layout right, that I wasn't sure my words still made sense! ;)
I also can't help but ponder on your tree climbing statement in regards to myself. I used to find very small, quiet places and get in them. I would often get into boxes and close the lid or go into the longer icechests and just find peace in the dark, confind spaces, often times falling asleep in the little spaces. I'll have to ponder a while on what that might mean...
Anywho, I am so so so glad that you were able to have this outdoors adventure and even more happy to hear of the internal experience that came with it. Its a very valuable bit of information for you to have when things get tough.
Hugs to you my friend
You certainly do belong and I'm so glad you're here. ((Marj)) if ok..
but back to you~ i'm so glad to know you, and i'm so happy you're in the world. people are lucky to know you. i was just thinking last night how grateful i am to know you. you've always been completely positive and encouraging and accepting of me, and i really feel that from you. you are a healing force.
thank you for just being you and for telling us how you feel~~~
warm safe hugs and well wishes to you today and always :)
i just wanted to share that i used to do the same thing. i would crawl into corners of closets behind clothes and under beds and hide in shelves and things like that. sometimes i did that because i was scared, but sometimes i did that because it comforted me. i felt safe being hidden. i also think being in a small space made me feel comforted because i felt physically contained. perhaps it was some subconscious attempt to feel held and protected.
i don't know if it means the same thing for everyone, but i thought i'd share my thoughts in case they could be of use to jade :)
wishing you and everyone well!
Paola: Those safe cyber hugs are always okay. And I'm glad you're here, too!
EH: Hey, so nice to "see" you! Glad you liked the post and pix.
Katie: Thanks for reading and commenting. Yes, I forgot to mention in the post how grounding nature is for me. Good point! Awwww! Thanks for what you said about me being a healing force. Nobody's ever said that to me before. And I'm happy to know you, too! :) *hugs*
And thanks for your thoughts about the small spaces. You're sweet!
I too, find healing and solace in the arms of mamma nature and all her majesty.
Trees are regarded as sacred in Celtic beliefs. It was believed each kind of tree had its own uniquely magical, mystical qualities and a soul. I love that!
Like you, I grieve over the grossly unnatural act of a mother abusing her child, or allowing her child to be abused.
My mother was devoid of what I call the inherent "mother bear instinct," that nearly every mammal possesses. And that instinct is to defend, protect (even at great personal risk) and care for one's young.
Glad you have your own family now and a new life.
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