June 19, 2006
The Debut Of Our Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse--Here Are All The Links
I'll get the ball rolling with the post of my own survivor story. I am a survivor of child sexual, verbal, physical and spiritual abuse. Please use caution when reading any of these carnival posts. Child abuse is a volatile subject. Destroying the innocent trust of a child is a heinous act. Any and all of these accounts are potentially disturbing. Here is the post that contains part of my survivor story from Survivors Can Thrive!
Mysti was raped at the age of 16. She talks about how she built a wall of protection around herself after that pivotal event. Mysti's story is at her blog called "Season For Angels."
The blogger, Wanda's Wings, posts "before" and "after" photographs of herself. She notes that she could not find one photo of herself where she is smiling during the time of her abuse. Her post is called, "Changed Forever."
Fallen Angels of the blog, "Safe Place Dissociative Dialogue," has written a poem. In the poem, the question is asked that may be a common question among survivors who dissociate. The question is, "What happened to me to make me unreal?" The title of the poem is also a question and is called, "Who Am I?"
Jumping In Puddles, of the "Life Spacings" blog also writes poetry that is related to dissociation. The poem that's been posted talks about seeing "pieces of me." The poem is called, "When I Look In The Mirror."
Whitedove is a prolific poet. You will find many poems on her blog. She has submitted one that talks about the day "it all started." Her poem is called, "Touched."
Patty writes a blog called, "Daughter Protecting Daughters." A poem she wrote talks about the marks of molestation and the triggers that follow. The poem is entitled, "My Marks From Your Fornication." When submitting this poem for the carnival, Patty remarked, "Victims of sexual abuse get LIFE with NO justice and molesters get a life with new victims every day, if we don't break the silence!"
In The News
Scarlett Demon posted a news article on her blog, "Carpe Noctem," that made her cry. It was a BBC News article on the statistics about how school children are given no information on sexual abuse with their lessons.
I don't know how I received the next submission or who referred the submitter, but I appreciate the link. It is to an article estimating that 40,000 women and children would be at risk of exploitation through sex trafficking in Germany to support the demand for sex during the World Cup. The article appears in the Atlantic Review.
Healing & Therapy
Al Johnson writes about child abuse and recovery poetry in his blog, "Wrong Words." He posts about a therapy exercise where he writes the un-mailed letter to his abuser. In the letter he speaks of his fear of his father. Al remarked, "My therapist suggested I write a letter to my father, telling him how I felt about his abuse of me. The letter is to help me better get in touch with appropriate feelings about the abuse and the abuser. The letter will not be sent to my father. The exercise is for my sake." Here is Al's "My Letter To My Father."
Survivor, of "Survivor of Rape and Incest," also wrote a therapeutic letter to her father. Her letter is about getting the anger out and realizing that the abuse was not her fault. Here is Survivor's "Letter to My Father."
I thought is was telling that, of our seven posts in the Healing & Therapy category, three bloggers decided to include letters to their abusers. The Conflicted Redhead, of the blog with the same name, was raped at the age of 13. After writing a letter to her rapists, she says, "I have no more secrets that can hurt me." Here is her post entitled, "Write a Letter to Your Rapist."
Austin of Sundrip Journals, who writes the blog, "The People Behind My Eyes," submitted a post that highlights survivor rights and says in the remarks, "I have the right to survive. I have the right to thrive." I couldn't agree more, Austin! Here is the post on "Survivor Rights."
April Optimist writes a blog called "The Thriver's Toolbox" (I love that name!). Her post talks about healing through being aware of our strengths and moments in our lives that are filled with smiles and laughter. Her remarks state, "I'm submitting this blog because I believe that laughter and moments when we smile and being aware of our strengths are all an important part of the healing process." Her post is called, "We Can Choose."
Charlie Callahan's blog, "Used Kitty Litter," will make you laugh and it will make you cry. He writes about the healing effects of a child abuse survivor realizing, "I am good." He says, "The pain doesn't stop until we start to un-believe the lie." It's all in his post, "Childhood Regained."
Hope Forus, of the blog Hope4Survivors, posts the first of a seven-part series on "Identifying Triggers and Phobias."
This category is about what happens to a child (or an adult) after the abuse that occurs during childhood. One common "aftermath" effect is eating disorders. Peggikaye, "Dreaming Again" of the "Pearls And Dreams" blog, has dealt with an eating disorder. When getting help for this, Peggikaye was told that she fit the "profile" for childhood molestation, but it was something that she had discounted. In her remarks she notes that this is, "My first public telling as me." Her post is, "Giving Words To Healing."
Carolyn Lehman, speaker and author of Strong At The Heart: How It Feels To Heal From Sexual Abuse, notes the "aftermath" of disclosure. Survivors can think that people (even other survivors) will think less of them when they disclose about their abuse. It's a cycle of shame and self-blame. Carolyn remarks, "You can never anticipate the aftermath of speaking out. I selected this blog entry because in the comment section there is a moving letter from a mother, describing her daughter's disclosure of childhood rape on the way home from a book event. The discussion with the therapist continues in comments on another post "what came of black oak" which you can find under "events" or "black oak" in the categories bar on the right of the blog. " Make sure you read the comments on Carolyn's blog, because that's where all the "Aftermath" dialogue is taking place on her post, "Black Oak Books."
Mike, of Child Abuse Survivor (dot net) tells us, "Your childhood was decided for you, adulthood doesn't have to be." He makes this statement in his post, "Who Are You?"
WW of "PTSD Today" has given us an article that discusses the research done on childhood abuse and the child's brain. She remarks, "This is an excellent article on the physical changes in the brain that can happen as a result of abuse." The post title is, "Childhood Abuse Changes The Brain."
I have Marcella Chester to thank for turning me on to blog carnivals. I encourage you all to visit the carnival she is hosting: Carnival Against Sexual Violence. On her blog, Abyss2Hope, she's posted about child offenders in, "What's To Blame When Children Sexually Offend?"
Advocacy & Awareness
The website owner for "As Waters Passing By" has a blog of the same name. Her post talks about her experiences while participating in the survivor audio documentary, Voices of Strength.
Dr. Deborah Serani is a psychologist who specialized in trauma and depression. She is also a wonderful child advocate and raises much-needed awareness on the effects of child abuse. This particular blog post from January lists child abuse statistics and safety tips. In her remarks she said, "This post talks about what every parent needs to know about child sexual abuse."
On a similar note, Athena, of "Athena's Mind," urges us to realize that informed kids are less likely to become child sexual abuse victims. It's in her post, "Talk To Your Children About Sex."
Sonnie_Dee of the blog, "Sonnie's Daze," talks about "Disclosing Abuse."
Last but certainly not least, is Moof of "Moof's Tale." She firmly believes that awareness brings healing. This is from her remarks: "Sexual abuse from several different perspectives: 1) Coming forward and speaking out in order to begin the healing 2) Surviving beyond the healing - living down the label of 'victim' 3) The importance of forgiveness in moving forward with healing ." Her insights are here at her post, "The Many Faces of Sexual Abuse."
Congratulations! It looks great. Fine job!
I don't have time to read them all this a.m. but I will tonight.
And definitely keep me in mind for hosting one.
Best wishes to all who contributed!!
This is Blogging at its most powerful and its most useful: people helping people.
Enough said, except thank you.
Thank you for making this carnival possible. You did a fabulous job reaching out to us all and encouraging us to share our stories.
Well done for taking part everyone!
Scarlett Demon: I'm sure all the participants will appreciate you visits and support--Thanks!
Mysti: So glad you could be part of this. I've been enjoying getting to know you better, too!
I just put my blog up last week, and missed out on adding anything.
Can I add here?
SadlyNormal.org is my site. Adult Survivors of CSA seeking justice.
My blog is sadlynormal.wordpress.org.
I am going to look at all of this tomorrow and add stuff to my site, and to the blog.
Thank you for doing this!
Check out my Interview on Good Morning America
Check out my website!
Austin of Sundrip Journals
Thank you for doing this blog carnival. It is fantastic! So is your web site!
Keep up the great work you are doing. You are providing so much hope for many who have struggled with the aftermath of abuse!
God bless you and everyone who contributed to this awesome experience!
Yes, I'm familiar with "Stolen Innocence." You're doing some important work there...and getting some great publicity too, I see. Thanks for visiting.
Austin: I'm glad you're enjoying discovering some new blogs. And I'm glad you're participating with us.
Hope: Thanks for the blessings and kudos. I'm blessed already if I am helping bring hope to survivors. Thanks for your contribution!
Patty Rase Hopson
JIP & Patty: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
Thank you marge, and thanks to all of you for sharing.
Human connection is so powerful, like a thousand drums in the silent night, their resonance echoing through the world.
Many souls will be touched by your efforts and bravery.
Well done all.
You all are so strong.
I look up to you.