September 22, 2008


First Day of Autumn & Our Carnival is Back

Hello, Survivors, Thrivers, Supporters and Advocates! Our hiatus for the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE IS OVER and today--the first day of Fall--our carnival is back.

Please use caution when reading these posts--many topics related to child abuse can, understandably, be quite triggering for some readers.


My first Carnival contribution is from Nancy Richards of Heal and Forgive. Nancy is becoming quite a valued, regular contributor to our Carnival. Here, she offers a wonderful, succinct post entitled, "Get over it" vs. "Go through it." There was no category chosen for this submission and, at first, I wasn't sure whether to include it under "Healing & Therapy," or "Advocacy & Awareness." Then, I realized that what she's talking about here is what I asked for in a monthly theme for this September carnival: Transitions. Blasting through memories, flashbacks, phobias, etc. on the way to healing is a huge transition we go through on this Survivor-to-Thriver journey. It's a lot scarier and a lot more work than just "getting over it," but, at least--for me anyway--I know I'm on the right path. Nancy says, "This post is to honor and encourage those who do the hard work to blast through their 'mountains' to get to 'the other side.'" Wow, Nancy. Thanks! I needed that!

Advocacy & Awareness

Austin of Sundrip Journals presents
Female Sadists - Therapy Discussion 1of2 posted at The People Behind My Eyes, saying, "To separate female offenders from male offenders is to give them a license to offend. Viewing female offenders differently than male offenders leaves their victims in a different light as well. We must see offenders for who they are and not separate accountability according to gender. Only in this way do we leave no survivor behind." Kudos, Austin and thanks for contributing to the Carnival again!

Amanda Moore highlights a wonderful list of child-help organizations in her post,
106 Organizations That Are Changing the World - Are you helping? posted at AMVA - Amanda Moore Virtual Assistant. Go check this out and do what you can!

Marcella Chester is the founder of the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST SEXUAL VIOLENCE and an on-going supporter of and contributor to our Carnival Against Child Abuse. Sadly, much child abuse includes the rape of innocent children. In this post, Marcella presents He Just Thinks He's Been Wrongfully Accused Of Rape posted at her blog, abyss2hope: A rape survivor's zigzag journey into the open.

April_Optimist is another great supporter of ours and regular contributor. This time, she presents A Survivor's Manifesto posted at The Thriver's Toolbox, saying, "Normally I post under healing but...I think this better falls under advocacy since it's about the respect with which I want all of us survivors to be treated. If we stand up for ourselves and expect respect, we are far more likely to get it. It is, in a sense, a transition from seeing myself (and fellow survivors) as flawed or damaged to seeing myself (and fellow survivors) as deserving respect." Thanks, April. And I agree. Respect is such a powerful tool for growth. You know, maybe if we all had more respect for children in general, we'd have a lot less child abuse to begin with. Now there's a novel idea!

Healing & Therapy

Holly Ord has participated in our carnival in the past. Thanks, Holly. Now, she's got a new blog, Healing Yourself Heals the World. Through this new blog, she presents for this Carnival edition, The Force that Drives You to Speak. Holly comments, "Healing Yourself Heals the World is a brand new site that will serve as a personal account of the healing journey from child abuse and childhood sexual assault. There is a force within survivors that pushes them to speak and not only will this site be a personal account of the healing journey, but hopefully it will also serve as a place of encouragement and motivation to other survivors and aid in their own healing journey. Thank you." What a wonderful name for a survivor-healing blog. Best wishes on this new venture, Holly.

Perfect, who writes a blog by the same name, offers us, Sometimes the Dragon Wins. It's a thoughtful post about loving yourself and choosing your battles during the healing journey. Thanks for this wonderful offering, Perfect!

In The News

Nandita joins our carnival and presents
Life Imprisonment for Raping Daughter Law Matters posted at law Matters. Thanks for contributing to our carnival, Nandita!

I've included a submission from Michael Snyder at The Moral Collapse Of America here. In this post he lists his 15 Things That Are Wrong With America. If you are dealing with the aftermath of spiritual abuse, as I am, you may want to use Extreme Caution when reading this blog. Mr. Snyder does, however, highlight some statistics on child abuse here. If you like a lively debate, you may want to peruse the comments on this post. I couldn't find an exact match to any of his child abuse statistics on our government's Child Welfare website, Darkness2Light or Child Help dot org, but we all know they are, indeed, alarmingly high. What I found a bit disturbing is the fact that he ranks "Gay Marriage" and "Evolution" higher (#3 and #4 respectively) on his "What's Wrong" list than child abuse (his #8). Hhmmmm, maybe it's not meant to be a hierarchy, but simply a rant.


I'll leave you with a poem that I wrote, which could easily be under our "Aftermath" or "Healing" categories as well. It's called, "In My Own World I'll Stay" and it's from my post, Disconnected & Dissociated? here.

That concludes this edition. Thanks to all you brave bloggers that helped us get The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse up and running again after the Summer hiatus. Anyone want to host next month? Please consider! You can submit your blog article to the next edition of carnival against child abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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September 17, 2008


Dissociative Detour...

...On the Way to Thriving...

...On the Way to The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse...

Well, well, well. I feel like I just woke up from one of those dreams where I'm about to enter a classroom for a final exam I haven't studied one lick for...
...and I discover I'm naked in front of everybody!

I'm feeling embarrassed and a bit like a chastised child.

I had one of the biggest dissociative "episodes" of my life, that I'm aware of any way. It started as we were coming back from our family vacation, just before the new school year began. I think Logan Airport, in Boston--where I'd only been once, on a business trip--was one of the triggers that set it all off. I feel like I'm just now almost completely done "coming down" from the whole dissociative nightmare...I mean, some kind of really frightening drug or something.

It scared my son so much that he, literally, was like, "Who are you and what have you done with my Mommy?" We're going to see my therapist together today, for "the talk." No, not the "sex talk." This will be the talk where we explain "what's wrong with Mom" to my beloved offspring. I've really resisted the urge to give him "too much information" up to this point; a lesson I learned from my sister as she tried to explain things years ago to her two young children. But, my therapist has worked with dissociative clients for over 20 years and I know she will be a big help. I hope this will assuage some of his fears and help him not worry so much.

So, anyway. The hiatus for the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is supposed to be over, right? I think the deadline for submissions was supposed to be today for a Friday post here, at Survivors Can Thrive! I've been to Blog Carnival dot com a couple of times today and the site is down. See the widget as you scroll down my sidebar? It's messed up.

Ah well, maybe that's a good thing, ya know? I think what I'd like to do anyway is extend the deadline for submissions and run the Carnival on Monday. Would you all be cool with that? As soon as the BC site is back up and I can log in, I'll go and change the dates. So, we have a little breathing room. Aaahhhh...that sounds nice, doesn't it? ;)

How 'bout we make the theme for the September Carnival something about Fall, Summer coming to an end, Transitions, or something like that. I should be able to come up with my own post about this time of year, as it always seems to hold great trauma-related/dissociative surprises for me. I still haven't figured out exactly what it's about. It's not like it's a specific "anniversary" or anything. It seems to sneak up as early as the middle of August, and have the potential to bite me in the ass until about mid-October. Fun, huh? Oh well. At least, this time, I was able to stay out of the hospital. That's improvement, right?

On another Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse note: I don't want to abandon the carnival that I founded and maintain. But, I'm looking for an extended break of sorts. What I'd like to look for supporters for is this idea: I want Carnival participants and past hosts to think about "managing" the Carnival in a guest-like, long-term stint for a commitment of six months to a year. I will still promote the Carnival at my blog and around the survivor-thriver community and submit my own posts. I'm hoping this will help our carnival stay on a month-by-month basis of continuity. Anybody willing out there? Please comment and/or leave me an e-mail message if you'd be interested. Thanks, all!

And get those September/Fall BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE submissions in. As soon as Blog Carnival is back up, I'll insert the submission form for you to use here.

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September 12, 2008


Disconnected & Dissociated?

Here's a poem I just wrote. I send it out there to all who may feel disconnected and/or lonely. Damn! It sure is hard NOT to feel disconnected when you're dissociative, huh?

In My Own World I’ll Stay

In my own world, I pray
That you can still find me.
It seems more, day by day,
We’re losing sight; the two of us can’t see.

I still feel you near.
But I’ve no crystal ball
To find out where you are
And so I stay…
In my own world, away.

I thought I’d search
The whole, wide-world for you.
But, what good can it do,
If I can’t find you there?

‘Til we rejoin,
Until our way’s made clear,
I’ll just wait here
In my own world, I’ll stay.

We’re out of touch today
And no one is to blame.
If pain and fear still reign,
Then we cannot know what we became.

I love you ever more;
Two worlds will be no more.
Until that joyous day,
Right here, I’ll stay…
In my own world, today.

Copyright 2008, Marj McCabe, all rights reserved.

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