February 03, 2010


I'm So Vain, I Probably Think This Blog Is About Me

Here's a question you probably wouldn't expect lil' ol' cyber klutz me to ask: Have you ever looked up your blog's page rank or link popularity? I have to admit, in the early days of my blog I did this quite regularly. You see, I don't have a tracker on my blog. The closest thing I have is the map you see on the sidebar down there; I think it's fun to see where in the world people are coming from to view my blog. But, if you don't leave a comment here, I don't know you've come by other than the red dot that forms on that map, indicating your general location.

Often times, I find that people are linking to me and they've never left a comment on my blog before. So, in the early days, I would look up my links, then I'd give a reciprocal link back and build up my blogroll. This was back in the days when you could get a lot more, up-to-date, specific information about your blog links over at Technorati and before Marketleap started charging fees for their services. I have to admit, I was pretty excited, back in 2006, when my blog was in the top 50,000 blogs for a brief period of time!

I also have to admit that my blogroll got so long, that I really didn't pay it much attention for a while. Couple the huge blogroll with the fall-into-winter therapy marathon that just ended, and I think it's fair to say that my blog (and my dot com site) were a bit neglected for a while.

Well, I decided to go over to Survivors Can Thrive! and do some updating on my dot com site, and I also decided to update some things on the template of this blog. At the same time, just for the heck of it, I decided to look at my page rank for the first time in a long while. I'm not gonna lie to you: I was pretty disappointed to see how far my blog's rank has fallen. I'm a bit worried--to be honest--that it's threatening to fall off the bloggy radar altogether.

I know how fast things change in the cyber world. Folks just stop blogging all the time. Folks change their blogs and start up new ones. I know there are some blogger folks who I've linked to for quite a while who don't have links on their blogs--no blogroll. I knew that I wasn't getting any link popularity from those folks who weren't linking to me (duh! I'm not that much of a cyber klutz). But, what I didn't know until recently is that, when I link to a blog that does not link back to me, it actually "drains" my blog rank, so to speak. Here's an article that explains it. It's pretty complicated, but there were a few things I got that really stood out and that was one of them.

In case you're interested, here are a couple more links that you can use to research your page rank and link popularity for your own blog.

I still don't think I'm going to put a site counter on my blog--that would just make me too crazy. But, maybe I am just vain enough that I don't want to see my blog completely fall off the bloggy radar. So, I have taken some links off my sidebar to blogs who aren't linking to me. If you find that one of these is your blog, please don't take it personally. I will still follow your blog with Google Friend Connect, if you have that feature. I will follow you over at Twitter if you ask me to, invite you to The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, visit your blog and comment there. If you are listed over at BlogCatalog, or Technorati, I will certainly fave you or add you as a friend. Just ask.

Oh, and another thing: I have a lot of links in the Resources section of my dot com site, as well. My dot com site is another story. I do have a tracker over there that comes with the paid-for, monthly web host service. (I try to stay away from it as much as I can, but look at it occasionally.)

In the link department, I've got some biggies listed there. I've got book titles linked to Amazon, and I've got websites like the Sidran and EMDR institutes, ChildHelp USA and so on. These big agencies have never linked to me, so I guess that's why my dot com site has never ranked high. I'm not so concerned about that; I just want it to be available to anyone who wants to use it as a resource. And if you have anything that you think would be helpful to link as a resource under my pages of Books, Survivor Support, Advocacy & Abuse Prevention, Treatment & Research, or Survivor Issues, let me know and I'll look into adding you there.

But, here at my blog is where I run The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse every month. So many of us have been involved in this important awareness-raising carnival since 2006 and I want it to stay as visible as possible. So, please don't chalk it up to vanity that I'm looking at my page rank and making some adjustments. And, please do let me know if you get a link up to me and I'll be happy to reciprocate, as usual.
And one last thing: If you see that you don't have a link on my sidebar and you don't know why, don't be shy; ask me about it. I may have had a dissociative or plain ol' spacey moment and it might just be an oversight.

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I didn't even know you could check into that stuff. I did know you could do the locator thingie...You're right up there in my book! :-)
*Sigh* I did notice that my link has disappeared from you blog sidebar....I just figured I wasn't important.

I too first the first year used to look at who links me and who was visiting my blog.

I too dont bother anymore. I havent looked for months upon months. I dont visit many new blogs really; I am kind of happy with my blog friends as they are - and that includes you!

Sorry I havent been around much lately - but that doesnt mean I havent thought about you.
i don't think you're vain :) it sounds to me like you're being communicative and reciprocal, as well as making sure to get the word out about your blog, which is important since you're an advocate who raises awareness about child abuse.

but i think your blog dropping down the ratings list may have nothing to do with less readership and more to do with the number of blogs out there. there are just so many people on the planet now with blogs! and some of the blogs with huge followings aren't always about important issues. some blogs out there are about very silly things.

i think you do a great job of getting your voice out there, you are an amazing source of support to so many and i think many are aware of your blog and the support, inspiration and education you offer.

and thank you again for doing all you do! :)
I did not even know the ranking thing was available. Do not feel bad. I went to the Rank Page and my blog rates a 3 our of 10.

Thanks for the info dear one. I will check from time to time the ranks page.

Blessings and much ((((((Marj)))))
Too funny! I didn't realize there was a ranking system. I don't need to know.. that would drive me crazy! The sole purpose for my tracker is to make sure that I was safe. That no one "found" me. I am very glad I had it.
Oh, Grace! You were one of the ones I took off because I don't see any blogroll at your own blog. I just went over there and checked, though, and I am following you for sure. I want to make it perfectly clear that I wouldn't do this because you (or anybody else) aren't important enough. It is true that blog rank has to do with links coming in and how HIGH those blogs are, in turn, ranked. But, I don't care about that. I just don't want to get penalized for no link at all: one going out, none coming in. I love you, don't worry.

Kahless: I'm glad to know you're thinking of me and consider me one of your blog friends--same here! :) Don't worry about not being around. After just being sick for three weeks, I sure understand that life just happens. Take care!

Katie: Thank you for your understanding support. And I just went to your blog and saw you added the "follow" widget, so I am now following you.
JBR: But you've got 350 followers at your blog. That's more followers than I have at Twitter. Go figure! ;)

Lily: I'm glad your tracker kept you safe.
Hehehe, your title made me think of Carly and that song.

You have a very educational purpose, so I don't think you are vain.

Everyone blogs for different reasons. I like to educate and help, but I also don't mind being out there too much.

It was nice of you to update!
Hi might want to link to oncewasvon-blogspot.com for articles, new and info on adoption issues.
IK: Yep, I had that Carly Simon song in my head when I wrote that headline. Hee hee! ;) I've decided that I don't mind being out there too much either. I feel more at ease with it than I did when I first started blogging.

Hi, Von. Thanks for stopping by again. I will definitely check out your blog.
thank you marj, for following my blog. that means a lot to me. and i understand your reasons for who you chose to have on your blog roll.

i've tried to make a blog roll, but for some reason, i'm feeling lately like the blogs i read are my business. i'm not sure why i'm feeling protective of my blogging friendships in this way. but that's why i haven't made one yet.

but if i ever make one, you would certainly be on it. and i'll let you know! :)
Hi, Katie! Thanks for being so understanding. Make sure you let me know if you get a blogroll up again, and I will link back to you again right away. I can understand what you're saying about a more private (maybe more close relationships?) type of blog. On the other hand, I get kinda a kick out of seeing bloggy friendships form that I suspect started with a click of a link on my sidebar. ;) I like our survivor solidarity and I like the community aspect. But, blogging is so many things, isn't it? Hugggssss xxxx
I go for quality not quantity!!!
marj...do you know of an event that is supposed to happen on june 12 of this year, called the million survivor march? i live in texas, and really would like to go to something like this, but can't find any other info except for the site...i was wondering if you had heard anything?
hi marj~ thanks for understanding. and thanks for explaining in the first place about your reasoning for who's on your blogroll. had i just noticed i was missing without knowing why, i think i would have been upset. but now that i know your thoughts on it, i am not taking it personally at all. you're so sweet to let people know you still care. thank you! :)
The way I see it..not too many are interested in my little blog..so I've never checked the popularity on it. But interesting option.

You know...I think I'm going on my 4th or so year reading your blong.. Long time. :-) and still glad our paths have crossed.
Oh Marj, this totally is me! I find that i do this alot, i feel like if i dont have alot of viewers, then how am i hopefully helping someone?
At least your blog doesn't have a tracker ;) mine does
best wishes<3
When I first started blogging I worried too much about this so stopped checking. Your site is such a resouce that I can understand why you want to be careful.
Sorry, Guys! I went to a women's retreat this weekend and got a little behind on things.

Paul: You DO have a short, succinct list on your blogroll. I guess I feel honored to be on it! ;)

Toni: I haven't heard anything yet, but I'm interested myself and I'm happy to look into it. It may be a couple of days 'til I get to it though. Nice to "see" you!

Hi, Katie! I'm glad we have a dialogue going about this and that you understand that I care about you. Let's keep on talkin'! :)

Jade: Yeah, I can hardly believe I've been blogging as long as I have. I sure am glad our paths crossed, too! Hugggss xxxx, friend!

Innocencestolen: I guess that's how I feel about it, too: I want people to find me so that they can get some help, validation, etc. Don't get too crazy with that tracker, now! ;)

April: Thanks for your understanding...and for saying my blog is a resource! I appreciate the support.
What are the top 3 things you learned at your retreat?
thanks, marj! i'm definitely not going anywhere. i get so much from this.

hope you had a wonderful time at your retreat! sounds great :)
Thanks for the info and the links! Love the title!
Colleen: I thought the title was a bit clever myself! ;) And you're welcome for the links.

Katie: Thanks for reassuring me that you're not going anywhere. I would miss you!

Katie & Jade: Okay, since Jade asked, I'll tell you a little about the retreat. It was actually through the UU church I attend on occasion. It was called The Wild Soul Women Retreat. Here are three things I learned: 1) I can still write a haiku. Yay! I had hit a dry spell (may share later) 2) The origin of the word "worship" (a word which I've always felt a bit rebellious toward) is "worth-ship." The minister of this church (who is an amazingly cool, funny, wise lesbian woman) said that if "worship" is on the agenda it means, "we are WORTHY to be in this sacred space." I thought that was very cool. 3) I found that I like the work of May Sarton, a prolific writer who produced 19 novels, 17 books of poetry and 15 nonfiction works while alive. Here's a great quote from one of her poems: "...WITHOUT DARKNESS NOTHING COMES TO BIRTH."
hi marj~ thanks for sharing about your retreat! sounds neat :)

you reminded me, i was listening to a clarissa pinkiola estes recording recently and she said the origin of the word "religion: is not to worship (a word i also dislike so i appreciate the alternate view you shared) but it's from the old word "relegare" which she said means to bind together. like weaving strands together to make a quilt. something once alone is then made stronger.

i still have problems and aversions about religion, but i love hearing more healing and positive interpretations of the concepts.

so glad you had such a nice time. i would love to go on a retreat sometime. definitely need to put that on my list :)
oops, it's pinkola
Katie: Oooo! I like your word origin info, too. I may have to look up Clarissa Pinkola Estes myself. I love word origins anyway. Aren't they fun?
hi marj~ :) ooh, she's wonderful if you aren't already aware of her work:


reading her is wonderful, but if you get the chance to hear her tell stories, it's amazing.

oh and yes, i love hearing about the root meanings of words. i think it can help us in letting go of negative associations, or think about things in new ways that offer more healing.
I used to do it a lot and ended up comparing myself to other people who had a lot more commenters. I'm just not likable enough that I ever will have very many so I try not to think about it too much or it will depress me.
Thanks, Katie. I will look up her work.

Blooming Psycho: Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I don't know, the whole thing is weird. So, I don't think it's worth any of us getting too crazy or depressed about. For one thing, I've noticed that a lot of comments on a blog doesn't necessarily mean it's ranked high...and vice-versa. It probably is best for all of us not to look at it or think about it too much, huh?
just poking my head over here to say hi!

Hi, Cassie! Hugs backatcha, deary! xoxoxo
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