October 26, 2007
Welcome to the October Edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse
Actually, we've got some great quality here, and we're not too shabby on quantity either. I even got a few posts that came under my request for articles about fear and overcoming fears. Yay, us!
So...here we go! Please use these links and comment, supporting our brave, sharing carnival participants.
Recognizing, Facing & Overcoming Fears
Our first participant is a regular: April Optimist at Thriver's Toolbox. Her post is, indeed, entitled "Overcoming Fear." April, as usual, has some smart ideas here and remarks, "I wrote this because so many things used to scare me and these are some of the tools that helped me get past my fear."
About her fear post, Enola says, "This isn't particularly about OVERCOMING fears, but it is about recognizing fears and triggers. I think recognizing WHY we have fears is the first step.
And I, myself, also wrote about fear in a poem I wrote for Survivors Can Thrive!, entitled, Facing Demons. The way this world works, we cannot vanquish our demons unless we actually face them. It can be scary as hell, but the payoff is increased healing.
Aftermath
When one looks at the aftermath wrought from childhood abuse, it's no wonder that abuse survivors must deal with the enormous issue of fear.
First, Rising Rainbow, who survived the ritual abuse of a cult, writes about overcoming Depression for her blog, My Clouds, My Storms & Multiple Personality Disorder.
Next, Austin, of The People Behind My Eyes, writes about the strategies, so to speak, of Weakness & Submission, used by abuse survivors. Austin says, "In this entry I try to come to an understanding of how I responded to the abuse and how my sister responded. We were total opposites with the same goal: survival. This is an entry of understanding. "
New to the carnival is Dr. Romeo Vitelli, who writes a blog called Providentia. Welcome! This article is about the concept of "wild children" and developmental delays associated with child abuse. I sense he feels for abused and neglected children when he comments, "Some damage never heals... "
Survivor Stories
Patricia Singleton has written a series of articles entitled, Incest May be a Part of My Life, at her blog called, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker. I really like the name of Patricia's blog. I believe the healing journey is, indeed, a spiritual journey. Many of us are trying to reclaim our souls from the abusers who attempted to murder them. Patricia herself remarks, "Warning: Reading the following series may be injurious to your peace of mind. They are intended to be. Without knowledge, we cannot prevent child abuse from happening. Go beyond this point at your own risk. Join me for the painful, frightening, emotional, freeing journey. "
We welcome Cerebral Mum as she bravely shares some of her story in the post, Imagine If. She says that her "history is history", but also says, "Tonight I remember the language of my childhood and I remember why I should never stop speaking. Shrinking yourself to an inoffensive nothing is not just self-harm. If we do that, who will speak for those unable to? Who will cry for those who cannot? Who will guide those who are drowning in their childhood to safety?"
Advocacy & Awareness
Here's an excellent article excerpted by The Memory Artist at Why Can't The Past Just Die? It's called Retraumatizing The Victim. The Memory Artist wants this article to receive more readership and remarks, "This post is an excerpt from an article entitled: "On Being Invisible in the Mental Health System" written by Ann Jennings Ph.D., in which she describes the ways in which the system often retraumatizes sexual abuse victims with its practices. Ann's daughter was a sexual abuse victim in early childhood, who despite years of mental health "treatment", went on to commit suicide at the age of 32."
A regular carnival contributor, Jumping in Puddles of the Life Spacings blog wants us to be aware of what we can and cannot necessarily assume when interacting with a survivor. Her post is entitled, "Do Not And Do Assume."
When I read Emily's post from Doing It All Again, I realized that characters in literature who are sexual abuse survivors are often not even recognized as such. Thanks, Emily, for giving this book's character survivor a voice! About Lolita, Emily remarks, "I read Lolita for the first time, as part of a book club. It was a difficult book to read for a survivor as the book is written without giving Lolita a voice. It was interesting to be able to give what I thought Lolita's voice would be back to my book group. My book review is pretty controversial, so be warned."
In The News
Annaleigh is another regular contributor and past edition host of the carnival. Her post from As Waters Passing By/Blessed Fearscapes discusses an appalling statistic about childhood sexual abuse, in "New statistic: One out of every four New Zealand women/girls are sexually abused." Annaleigh says about this knowledge: "When I read things like this, it just makes me want to work harder to do my part."
Anne-Marie Nichols returns from Teacher Smackdown to retell the news story, "Teacher Charles Hadley Arrested for Soliciting Sex from Teen in Online Chat Room."
We welcome Holly Ord from her blog, Menstrual Poetry. Holly lambastes the absurd and disgusting in, "7 Counts of Incest to Teach How to Be a Good Wife."
Poetry
We've got two regular contributors sharing their poetry in this carnival. They are both excellent writers. First, there's Beauty from the Beautiful Dreamer blog. Beauty explains the motivation behind her poem as she remarks, "I wrote this poem as a means of giving my(selves) permission to take back the theft of my love of writing. My abuser scoffed at my passion every chance he got; I find it ironic that the very thing he used to disdain is now being used as a means of standing up for myself!" Her poem is entitled, Rough Draft.
Austin, of The People Behind My Eyes, returns with a powerful poem that raises awareness about the change that needs to occur when we blame the victim. Her poem is I Long For The Day and about it she remarks, "There use to be a time when it was okay that you hit me, that you hurt me. No one called you an abuser, but times have changed. There use to be and still is a the belief that the victim is somehow at fault. Those times need to change."
Healing & Therapy
Here's a hopeful, healing post by a regular contributor, Keepers of KeepersKorner. It is simply called, "Accentuating the Positive." I like the sound of that!
Megan at Imaginif Child Protection Became Serious Business is also a regular Carney and past edition host. Of her post, "Co and Counter Dependent Relationships: which one will your child choose?" Megan remarks, "'Mummy, when I grow up, I'm going to be just like you.' 'Then sweetie, it's really important that you know that Mummy grew a brain and changed bad relationships for good, healthy ones. Mummy doesn't want you to get hurt too.' Do your children know that the majority of relationships we model to them are not healthy?"
Finally, we have another regular contributor that we appreciate, Therapy Doc at Everyone Needs Therapy. In this post, she talks about the concept of Process in"Mr. Saturday Night." She remarks, "When someone has to take one for the team, it's usually the kid. It's not really child abuse. Or is it?"
Labels: advocacy, awareness, blog carnivals, child abuse, child abuse prevention, child protection, healing, Poetry, therapy
October 25, 2007
Facing Fears & Demons
Facing Demons
You're a part of me that's walled off
Still I feel your fear
You need my attention
It's painful staying here
Facing demons I thought were dead
Retraining the chaos in my head
So, you speak to me in nightmares
Try and get out of my own way
And, I attempt to hear you
You've got secrets you must say
If I look at anymore of this
Will I come completely apart?
How can you destroy your child
And crucify her heart?
Facing demons I thought were dead
Want to feel safe in my own bed
I am reaching in for
A frightened child inside
Who longs and cries for comfort
Then runs away to hide
Yet, I can't forget the children
They're teaching me to feel
Each one of them I'll rescue
As their secrets are revealed
Facing demons I thought were dead
Retraining the chaos in my head.
Copyright 2007 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved
Labels: child abuse, child parts, comfort, dissociation, inner child, poem, Poetry, sexual abuse survivors, therapy
October 24, 2007
Blog Carnival: I Had to Stop and Think
But, what I had to stop and think about was the timing and the theme of this carnival. I know that, for ritual abuse survivors especially, this is an awful time. I sincerely apologize if I came across as insensitive to this kind of suffering. I'm sorry. I guess I just got in such a hurry trying to slap together a last-minute carnival (after we've missed the last two months) that I didn't stop and think. I still think "overcoming our fears" is an excellent topic to discuss, but let's just call this the October Carnival, okay? Peace, comfort and blessings to all.
Labels: awareness, blog carnivals, child abuse, ritual abuse
October 19, 2007
A Halloween Blog Carnival
I've decided just to do a quick, down-and-dirty blog carnival for October myself. The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse will post on Friday, October 26 and submissions are due on Wednesday, October 24. You can go right to the Blog Carnival submission form here.
Since October hosts Halloween in the US--"Fright Night"--I thought I'd ask for submissions about overcoming fear. Please enter if you can. Soon, I'll be organizing my list of hosts that we'll finish off the year, and start the new year with. Thanks for your patience everybody.
October 15, 2007
Two Simple Things
This morning I woke up to see snow on the Colorado mountain peaks. It's a chilly fall day. I decided I should drive to an appointment I had at 11:00. But first, there were e-mails and coffee and I decided to stop by to look at a friend's blog. I really like what I saw there at the Greenstyle Mom. She had a post up about today being Blog Action Day. The subject is the environment.
Back in July, I humbly accepted the Bloggers For Positive Global Change award, started by Climate Of Our Future. As I said then, before I got into advocating for children, the environment was really my thing. I made child abuse prevention my priority because, as I said, "If we don't protect, love and guide our children, they'll be too busy simply surviving and going to therapy in their future to make saving our planet from global warming a priority."
But ya know what? I got to thinking this morning that the name of my dot com site and this blog is, indeed, Survivors Can Thrive! When all is said and done,--when I'm finished just surviving my childhood abuse and I truly want to thrive-- I want a healthy planet to thrive in!
As I was wrapping up my morning Internet session, the clouds parted and the sun came out, as if to encourage me. I ended up walking to my morning appointment. It felt great!
Since many of my readers are abuse survivors, I started thinking about what we can do for the environment, even on those days when we feel like we're merely surviving. And, so, I thought of the title of this post: Two Simple Things. The first simple thing is walk! Getting out and getting a little fresh air and exercise really helps with depression. You can help the planet at the same time. Instead of driving, walk to your destination, take your kid for a stroll, strap on your dog's leash and take him for a walk. We'll all be better off for it.
The second simple thing, that I've been feeling good about lately, is purchasing a reusable shopping bag. Did you know that in some parts of the ocean, there are six pounds of plastic for every pound of fish? Much of this is coming from our plastic shopping bags. Gross! Visit www.1bagatatime.com for information and facts about the problem...and a solution.
The next time you're about to hop in the car for a quick run to the store for bread and milk, lace up your walking shoes instead and swing your reusable shopping bag over your shoulder. Two simple things to help our planet--we can all do this much.
October 10, 2007
Spreadin' The Love
During my hiatus, I got tagged with two award memes: the Rockin' Girl Blogger and the Caring Blogger. I am honored, humbled and thankful. Thanks! :)
The Caring Blogger Award was created by my friend Marcella, at Abyss2Hope. Marcella is a tireless awareness-raiser and the founder of the Blog Carnival Against Sexual Violence. Marcella started this award meme to highlight bloggers who make us care. The rules and origins of this meme are here.
Here's my list of bloggers who make me care and help me keep my heart open (in no particular order):
- Mike at Child Abuse Survivor
- Enola
- Jumping in Puddles at Life Spacings
- Al Johnson at Recovery Poetry/Wrong Words
- Dr. Deb
All of these caring bloggers have succeeded, through their writing, in making me care about them, personally, about child abuse prevention and about reducing the stigma of mental illness. They all raise awareness and make me want to stay aware myself--aware, involved and engaged.
I also got tagged by Enola with a Rockin' Girl Blogger award. I haven't been able to find out the origins of this meme, but I think it's cool. (Poo! I can't get the graphic for this award to load either. Anybody out there know how to help me with it?) Suffice it to say that I think the following girls really rock and I'm glad to know them through their blogs. Again, in no particular order:
- Karma at Jew Exploring Buddhism
- Cassie at Overcoming and Conquering CSA
- S'onnie at Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
- Wanda at Wanda's Wings
- Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker
Rock on, ladies! You rock our bloggy world!
Labels: award, awareness, child abuse prevention, meme, mental illness, stigma
October 03, 2007
Healing the Body; A Break for the Mind
Thanks to all you kind folks who stopped by with well wishes! You are, as always, greatly appreciated!
A little added bonus during my body healing is the fact that my parts have been quite calm most of the two plus weeks. I guess no parts really want to be in this banged-up body now. An interesting theory anyway. I have to admit, I've appreciated the break. It's also been a time for my husband and I to get all snuggly close and more affectionate with each other. That's a respite, for sure.
Now I'm off to visit some of you, my bloggy friends. Thanks for being so patient with my erratic visiting these past six weeks or so.
Labels: concussion, gratitude, healing, parts
