July 03, 2006
Behind And Bedraggled, But Bouncing Back
Right now, my husband is at work and my son is still over at a friend's house after a sleep-over. So, I'm doing laundry and trying to catch up in the cyber world. Thanks for all your kind comments and e-mails. I'll get around to visiting you all and replying to e-mails shortly. (I think I'm caught up on blog carnival submission confirmations.) I'm not going anywhere for the 4th, so I should be catching up quite nicely in the next day or two.
I've got to share another thing that happened during the last week. When I get sick and stress builds up, my PTSD rears its ugly head. I've been triggered into dissociation a few times recently.
The other day, I had a HUGE trigger that disturbed and upset me, but I was able to stay present and react a bit better. I won't go into the details of the trigger, but in the past, it would have been something that could have made me SI or dissociate and run away. (Maybe I'll post one of my "running away" stories here soon.) I haven't drawn any blood with SI for over two years, but I still have a nasty habit of hitting myself in the head sometimes. This time, I got outwardly ANGRY instead. I have a technique where I beat cardboard paper towel rolls to shreds. This time, one wasn't within reach, so I beat the heck out of a metal water bottle instead. It wasn't the greatest, non-violent, harmless reaction, but it was way better than what I've done in the past. Hoooraaayy for me!
Speaking of being behind--I got tagged with a meme like a week ago. This is so lame, but I'm going to go ahead and post it now. What do ya think? Will the blog police come and haul me off because I'm so lame with this meme thing? Oh well, here goes:
Subject: Friends How well do you know me? For instance, did you know...
Four jobs I have had in my life:
- Store/Gallery Manager
- Director of Corporate Communications
Four movies I would watch over and over:
- A Room With A View
- What The Bleep Do We Know!?
- The Iron Giant (with my little guy)
- Harry Potter (again, with my son)
Four places I have lived:
- Wheaton, Illinois
- Oak Park, Illinois
Four TV shows I love/loved to watch:
- (mostly loved to watch, I hardly watch anything now) Friends
- PBS shows
Four places I have been on vacation:
- Costa Rica
- The Grand Canyon
Four websites I look at daily (more than others):
- (I don't make it to anything daily, but often are:) Pandora's Aquarium
- After Silence
- The People Behind My Eyes
- Pax Nortona (#3 & #4 are prolific writers--I feel like a hack next to them!)
People I'll tag:
- Scarlett_Demon at Carpe Noctem
- Beachwriter at Teardrops on Roses
- Mysti at Season For Angels
- Wanda at Wanda's Wings
ps thanks for sharing the meme, its interesting to learn more about others :)
And hey, the meme is nothing I'm happy you did the responsible thing and took care of your little guy. I mean, what would he have said had you given him the hand followed by, "you'll get to the doc after I finish the meme now stop complaining about the strep throat." See, perspective, it's all in perspective now.
Triggers are nasty things that come up again and again. I've learned a lot about what triggers me. And I've learned to listen to my selves so that I can diminish triggers or respond to them safely like you did. For this reason, I'm skipping the party that Sg is having and I'm staying home on the 4th. I know I'm not up to it, that I'm not back to where I need to be to go over there and deal with a bunch of people. Taking care of ourselves ( not cutting or cutting ourselves slack)can speed up our recovery time. We are a step closer than we were. Kudos to us both.
smiles to you,
Dr. Deb: Glad to see you're back. I hope you had a great trip. I'll be heading over to your blog shortly.
Sonnie: Thanks so much for your support. I have this terrible feeling that SI is kinda like smoking...I feel like I might have the urge for the rest of my life...but I don't have to give in to it on either one! (Now if I could just get rid of these extra 20 pounds I gained when I quit smoking! LOL!)
Great answers to the meme, interesting what people like for movies isnt it.
We have also done ours with a little puzzle to go with it :)
I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well ... take your time, don't push more than you feel able. We'll be here waiting for you.
take care sweetie.
Mysti: Thanks for asking about me. We're all healed up from strep, etc. here. I feel like I've fallen behind all over again since about Thursday, however. I realize I just don't get as much of my own stuff done when my son's home and out of school. Oh well, I'll try not to stress about it. Take care!
my new address just has "2" written after "alone"... eventually, ill back into posting...
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