July 03, 2006


Behind And Bedraggled, But Bouncing Back

Hello! Yes, I'm still alive! My son got some Zithromax so he bounced back from the strep quite quickly. I didn't get any antibiotic (not sure what the bug was) and I took a bit longer to bounce back myself. I am behind on everything!

Right now, my husband is at work and my son is still over at a friend's house after a sleep-over. So, I'm doing laundry and trying to catch up in the cyber world. Thanks for all your kind comments and e-mails. I'll get around to visiting you all and replying to e-mails shortly. (I think I'm caught up on blog carnival submission confirmations.) I'm not going anywhere for the 4th, so I should be catching up quite nicely in the next day or two.

I've got to share another thing that happened during the last week. When I get sick and stress builds up, my PTSD rears its ugly head. I've been triggered into dissociation a few times recently.

The other day, I had a HUGE trigger that disturbed and upset me, but I was able to stay present and react a bit better. I won't go into the details of the trigger, but in the past, it would have been something that could have made me SI or dissociate and run away. (Maybe I'll post one of my "running away" stories here soon.) I haven't drawn any blood with SI for over two years, but I still have a nasty habit of hitting myself in the head sometimes. This time, I got outwardly ANGRY instead. I have a technique where I beat cardboard paper towel rolls to shreds. This time, one wasn't within reach, so I beat the heck out of a metal water bottle instead. It wasn't the greatest, non-violent, harmless reaction, but it was way better than what I've done in the past. Hoooraaayy for me!

Speaking of being behind--I got tagged with a meme like a week ago. This is so lame, but I'm going to go ahead and post it now. What do ya think? Will the blog police come and haul me off because I'm so lame with this meme thing? Oh well, here goes:

Subject: Friends How well do you know me? For instance, did you know...

Four jobs I have had in my life:
  1. Waitress
  2. Secretary
  3. Store/Gallery Manager
  4. Director of Corporate Communications

Four movies I would watch over and over:

  1. A Room With A View
  2. What The Bleep Do We Know!?
  3. The Iron Giant (with my little guy)
  4. Harry Potter (again, with my son)

Four places I have lived:

  1. Wheaton, Illinois
  2. Oak Park, Illinois
  3. Chicago
  4. Colorado

Four TV shows I love/loved to watch:

  1. (mostly loved to watch, I hardly watch anything now) Friends
  2. Frazier
  3. ER
  4. PBS shows

Four places I have been on vacation:

  1. Hawaii
  2. Costa Rica
  3. China
  4. The Grand Canyon

Four websites I look at daily (more than others):

  1. (I don't make it to anything daily, but often are:) Pandora's Aquarium
  2. After Silence
  3. The People Behind My Eyes
  4. Pax Nortona (#3 & #4 are prolific writers--I feel like a hack next to them!)

People I'll tag:

  1. Scarlett_Demon at Carpe Noctem
  2. Beachwriter at Teardrops on Roses
  3. Mysti at Season For Angels
  4. Wanda at Wanda's Wings

I did the meme. :) Looks like you have lived all over too! The meme was fun to do.
I learned so much about you. I love these memes.
Well done on doing something other then SI. You may not have done the greatest thing in your eyes but you are right it was better then SI


ps thanks for sharing the meme, its interesting to learn more about others :)
yeah, you're back. congrats on no SI today. You know for sure that each time we resist it is a victory. Good for you.

And hey, the meme is nothing I'm happy you did the responsible thing and took care of your little guy. I mean, what would he have said had you given him the hand followed by, "you'll get to the doc after I finish the meme now stop complaining about the strep throat." See, perspective, it's all in perspective now.

Triggers are nasty things that come up again and again. I've learned a lot about what triggers me. And I've learned to listen to my selves so that I can diminish triggers or respond to them safely like you did. For this reason, I'm skipping the party that Sg is having and I'm staying home on the 4th. I know I'm not up to it, that I'm not back to where I need to be to go over there and deal with a bunch of people. Taking care of ourselves ( not cutting or cutting ourselves slack)can speed up our recovery time. We are a step closer than we were. Kudos to us both.

smiles to you,
Welcome back. Hope you are well now. I know the feeling. When you get behind, it feels like you never catch up. That's on blogging and laundry.lol
Mysti & Wanda: Thanks for doing the meme. It's fun, huh? And thanks, Austin, for tagging me!

Dr. Deb: Glad to see you're back. I hope you had a great trip. I'll be heading over to your blog shortly.

Sonnie: Thanks so much for your support. I have this terrible feeling that SI is kinda like smoking...I feel like I might have the urge for the rest of my life...but I don't have to give in to it on either one! (Now if I could just get rid of these extra 20 pounds I gained when I quit smoking! LOL!)
im soi glad you found an outlet other than hurting yourself, it reminds us there is hope of finding different ways to outlet frustration thankyou.

Great answers to the meme, interesting what people like for movies isnt it.

We have also done ours with a little puzzle to go with it :)

Amelia: Wow, you got that meme up fast! I'm fast, too 'cause I already commented there. Hee hee! I'm really getting caught up here on the holiday. Yee haaaw!
Wow Marj! You certainly have done some traveling! China!

I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well ... take your time, don't push more than you feel able. We'll be here waiting for you.
No worries, Moof; my son and I are both feeling MUCH better, thank goodness. I'm really starting to get my head above water here and not feeling so buried. Thanks for your kind words. Yeah, we went to China for our last big trip before we had a child. It resulted in the only travel article I ever wrote and had published. It was an amazing experience!
Thanks for the meme. It's up and ready to read. I know what it's like to have a sick child, especially with strep throat - no fun at all. Sometimes we have to take a step back and do something fun - like a meme - it is a great way for our viewers to get to know us a little bit better and a great way to breathe a little. What does MEME stand for?
Beachwriter: You know, I have no idea what "meme" means. I don't think it's an acronym...maybe a different languaage? I dunno, but I'm gonna pop over and look at yours.
Hey Marj, key point in your post? You didn't take your anger out on yourself. Mucho progress I would say!!

take care sweetie.
Just wondering if you are okay, and wanted to let you know that I was thinking of ya.
Psychbaby: Thanks for the "healing kudos." I think you're a sweetie, too!

Mysti: Thanks for asking about me. We're all healed up from strep, etc. here. I feel like I've fallen behind all over again since about Thursday, however. I realize I just don't get as much of my own stuff done when my son's home and out of school. Oh well, I'll try not to stress about it. Take care!
I can well understand that! Glad you are alright.
hey marj - yeah, ive been out of commish due to what we emailed about - life is uncomfortable, scary & hard, but it'll blow over I suppose. everything is just very, very confusing. and b/c of all that, i started to fiddle around w/changing my site address, but i ultimately decided against it for the greater good... but when i went back to my old url not even 20 minutes later, it was taken!

my new address just has "2" written after "alone"... eventually, ill back into posting...
ML: So WONDERFUL to hear from you! Yeah, I went to your old url and it was in Chinese or something! I've got new links to add and stuff to fix--I've got a note to myself to fix my link to you. I'm thinkin' about ya!
Hey Marj! Thanks for the tag! I've missed loads being offline for so long, trying hard to catch up now though! I hope you're doing ok and that we get to catch up soon.

Take care!

SD xxxxxx
SD: Don't worry, I knew you weren't blowing us off. I bet you REALLY feel "behind and bedraggled!" Good luck with catching up. I'm glad you're back in cyber land!
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