March 02, 2010


Allowing Myself To Dream Again

Hey, everybody. Sorry I haven't been around the blogosphere all that much as of late. But, one of the main reasons I've been distracted is a good thing. As some of you may know, I'm working on achieving my certificate in botanical illustration.
Dream Job: Botanical Illustrator
Dream Job: Botanical Illustrator by MarjakaThriver(on break) on

I am really enjoying it. My T really likes this for me as she says that it really helps me with my level of competency and self-esteem. I agree. It is also so freeing to dream again. For such a long time, I've felt like recovery, healing, therapy--those things were my full-time job. Now, I feel like some of my old talents and skills have returned and I'm enjoying practicing those things. My undergraduate degree is in commercial art. From the beginning--as an art major in college--I wanted to be an illustrator.

But, I also knew I did not want to be a "starving artist." Therefore, I went to work in Chicago in advertising and corporate communications until all hell broke loose. I got married, got laid off, had a baby and started working on my recovery from child abuse.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm coming out of a long nightmare. It feels wonderful to be dreaming again. It feels even better to be working toward making my dream come true! What dreams do you have that you're working on to make reality?

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It is wonderful to reach the point where recovery is no longer a full-time job. Congratulations on that and beginning to live your dream of being an illustrator.

About 10 years ago, I went back to college to take 2 Drawing classes because I have always wanted to take drawing classes. I got an A and a B+ which were both the highest grades that the teacher gave for those two semesters. I loved both classes. The classes also taught me how much I was still wanting to control my world so in addition to following a dream, I found an area that I still needed to work on in my recovery.
Woohoo! That is so cool! I'm so happy that things are falling into place with you this way! *hugs* <3
oh marj, how great! :) i'm glad to hear this is why you haven't been around much lately. how terrific that you are pursuing your love of drawing. and i love your art you posted. very beautiful.

i feel like my dreams are currently on hold. my dreams of one day becoming a therapist. while i stay home and raise our daughter while she's still so little. but she won't be little forever :)

so i'm trying to enjoy this part of my life while i have such a meaningful opportunity.

wishing you well~ :)
Wonderful news and what a great thing to be doing...would love to have done that myself.
Oh wow Marj, I am so very happy for you. This is such an uplifting post. Keep dreaming dear one..... I will dream along with you.

I am so happy for you! That is great. To do what you enjoy, to allow yourself to dream. How cool. Hugs and blessings!
Many congrats and best wishes! Drawing has always been a secret wish for me, but I stink at it. Hope you show some of your sketches.
How wonderful that you are living again. I know I have put my life on hold for nearly three years now while working through my issues. I have been writing a novel, all that time, but it has taken a backseat to my recovery.
Now, I am (finally) almost done with the book - I should reach the end in the next month and then I expect it to take about 4 to 6 months to do the final edit...
Its hard to believe I will actually finish it!
I am allowing myself to dream that it will be published.
I also have a degree in art - bachelor of fine arts from the Art Institute in Chicago - and would love to make my art into something more than just what I do for myself... but for now I have to focus my attention a little more and finish one thing before I start another.

kudos to you for taking the next step!
Happy for you, so very happy. It is such an feeling of accomplishment and even a sigh of relief in leaving this kind of full time job rather behind and enjoy being proud and humbled of what you have reached while dreaming the drams. Letting go and pushing beyond former limitations. This botanical illustrator is something awesome. Hope to see some of your drawings soon. I know how soothing and relaxing painting / drawing can be. Hugs to you.
Patricia: Thanks for you comment. Dreams AND self-improvement, huh? That's a healthy combo!

IK: Thanks! xxxxx hugs to you, too! :)

Katie: I'm wishing you well, too. And you're right--they grow up SO fast. I can hardly believe mine just turned 13!

Von: It's never too late to get into drawing. Grandma Moses became a famous painter in her '70's and lived to 101! And there seem to be classes all over the place. Don't give up on it if you really want to do it!

GWITW: It's a good thing to share our dreams, I think. Thanks for dreaming with me and for those hugs. Back at you! xxxx

Colleen: Thanks for sharing in my joy. Hugs and blessings back to you!

Ivory: Nice to "see" you! If it's a secret wish, don't give up on it. One of my current instructors said she can teach anyone how to draw. If I can figure out how to scan in a picture, I will try to get on up some time. Thanks for being interested!

Wow, Shen! I'm from the Chicago area. I BFA from The Art Institute, huh? I'm impressed! And also impressed with the novel. I started one about 20 years ago that I abandoned. Best wishes on the editing and congrats and kudos!

Paula: Hey! Nice to "see" you! I probably won't be able to leave my recovery completely behind--maybe a part-time job--for a while, but it does feel nice to do other things. Hugs to you, too, dear!
wow marj... we may be neighbors.
Shen: Maybe in the past we were. I live in Colorado now, though. But, I still love to visit Chicago. Especially cultural venues like the Art Institute!
this is awesome...painting...creative...a way to express what it's inside. I love the feel of this post...when life's always for a reason. Stay strong. Sarah
Thanks, Sarah. I appreciate that and I appreciate you! :)
Congrats! You must be so proud of yourself! Myself..well I am just seeing a part of me coming about or shall I say beginning to dream a little bit too. It feels nice. Although I know I have a lot of work ahead of me..I can only imagine where my limits will take me. Hope you find that your limits are sky high..which means go for it and I wish you all the best. I'm here listening and watching you grow. Safe hugs.
Sapphire Dreams: thanks for stopping by, for listening and for those hugs. Wishing your dreams come true!
This was a great post Marj. I was actually thinking about you a lot this morning. I'm not sure why...
I was in a Gestalt training for work and for some reason you kept popping into mind. Haha... maybe my spirit was open to you in that moment..who knows..

Hope you are well my friend. Keep up the wonderful art. cool is that! Good for you!
Thanks, RR! :)
Hi, Jade! So nice to "see" you! And it's nice to be thought of I so often do you! xxxxx :)
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