November 05, 2009


Therapy Marathon

Well, I'm back home and I feel like my intense therapy week last week went well. In addition to the 4 1/2 hours of therapy time, I was able to indulge in some pampering and self-care, as well as time to get some extra work done. I worked on a healing-related poem, I did a ton of reading and journaling, and I worked on some self-love affirmations. The affirmations exercise is one that my sister shared with me from the WIIT program. It's supposed to defuse negative brain-washing messages. (I may share some of that sometime later.)

In addition, this time focused on my healing gave me the push I needed to admit I needed something to help me sleep. I was starting to feel very run down from lack of sleep and poor sleep with nightmares, etc. So I went into the doctor and got a prescription for Trazadone. It's helping me a lot! I hope I won't have to be on it long, but I'm glad it's there for support when I need to be at least a notch above zombie level.

Now that I'm back, things are mixed, as life always is. Today I'm home with a sick kid (again!). But, I missed my son after being away for a five days and I'm glad to spend more time with him. When he's sick is about the only time that he really lets me snuggle him and love on him anymore. He acts like he's already 15 or something! LOL ;)

The biggest thing I'm excited about at this very moment is the fact that I rebooted my computer and ran some scans on it and then got Firefox working on it again. Hooray! It's the first time I've been able to use Firefox on my computer for about a month! So, I'm able to do this new blog post easily, and maybe I'll get around to some other blogs today.

I'm feeling a little anxious about my birthday this weekend. But, I've been very assertive and have asked for exactly what I want for my birthday. We're going to a brunch on Sunday, as a family, assuming we're all healthy. Then, in the evening, my husband got us the tickets I wanted for a live comedy show. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine sometimes.

My son provides some comic relief for me quite often. He's such a little card! I'm continuing some extra therapy right now. After a tough session yesterday afternoon, I picked him up from school with tears still in my eyes. It wasn't long, however, before he had me in stitches with some silly story he was telling in his animated way. I love him so much! I'm so glad that I was able to have a child and we've been able to keep him safe...and he knows how much he's loved.

As for my inner children, I'm continuing to do double therapy weeks until further notice. I'm on the verge of uncovering some issues that need to be processed from the two-year black hole I have always had in my childhood memories. I can remember so much from Kindergarten--and then again from third grade, but I virtually remember nothing about first grade and completely nothing about second grade. I can't even say I remember my teacher, what the classroom looked like or anything. Let alone what happened with me personally. So, I'm standing on a scary precipice. But, I just keep climbing. All you survivors out there: Let's just keep climbing!

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Well, glad to hear how much you feel achieved and accomplished. I started Intense Trauma Therapy this Monday here in Munich, however for 7h every day / 3 months. Well, will stop by as often as I cna to read and feel your advancement. Love from Germany
Wow Marj, sounds like you're making big steps in your healing journey. I love that you are so dedicated to heal. It helps me to feel a little less alone. :-)

What do you do to care for yourself after tough sessions or after a double session week?

Thank you for commenting on my blog. You actually put a word to something thats been driving me crazy all day. You mentioned a "flood" after EMDR. I'm feeling it. My mind is continually wanting to process. It has been very tiring. Especially since I had clients of my own today.
But thank you for the warning. At least I wasn't shocked when I woke up feeling emotionally exhausted.

Hugs to you my friend (((Marj)) Stay strong and dont forget to smile! :-)
Wow, Paula! I've never heard of therapy seven hours a day for three months. I don't think we have anything like that in this country. Blessings and best wishes with that program. Let us know how it goes.

Hi, Jade! Well, last night, my husband helped me fix a very easy dinner and then I put on my fleecy lounge pants and slipper socks. I snuggled on the couch with a warm, cozy blanket and my son, with the dog at our feet. And we watched a few comedy shows. I hope you are doing what you can to comfort and rest. EMDR is hard work!
Hey there, it sounds like you're doing really well. I know how hard it is to do therapy and go back to normal life looking after a wee man. I also used sleeping pills when I needed to and then got it down to just taking them at the weekend and I'm not taking them now. I also watch comedy shows when I start sinking low. Have a lovely birthday, you deserve it!
Speck: Nice to "see" you again. Thanks for stopping by with your kind comment and birthday wish.
It sounds like you had a really successful therapy marathon...I'm so glad! I would love to hear more about the affirmations exercise sometime.

Children full of love and laughter are such a blessing! (even when they aren't so little anymore)

Happy Birthday (early) Good for you for being assertive about what you want....I hope that you have a special day!

I just started this whole twitter thing, and I see you do it, so I am off to go follow you :)
You are such an inspiration to me on healing. THank you for showing me it is possible, for all your healing examples and for being there....

thanks. I really am happy for you and hope to follow some of your advice...I need to.

hugs, mile
Hey Marj, just want to wish you a great and awesome birthday. A day to celebrate your life.....totally enjoy the meal, the show, the day - you deserve it. Sarah
It's great to hear how much you feel you've progressed painful as it was.
I sure hope your birthday goes exactly the way you have planned it.
I must tell you, you still inspire me. Thank you for your comment on my blog. I appreicate all the tips I can get!!!!
~ Grace
Hi Marj!
GO Marj GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can do it!
You can, you can, you can...
You will!


You are beautiful!
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a wonderful time. I'm smiling at all the good things you wrote about. I'm so glad for you.
Hi, Marj -

I am so proud of you for making your healing a priority! Good for you!

- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
Hey, Tracie! I haven't been on Twitter too much lately with my computer probs, but I'll go over there soon and see if I can find you. Thanks for your sweet comment!

Mile: So nice to "see" you. You're welcome and thank YOU. I sure don't feel inspiring sometimes, but I guess we can all inspire others by facing our struggles and soldiering on.

Sarah: Thanks for that nice birthday wish...and the part about me deserving it. I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Grace: Thanks for what you've said here. I think just our "survivor surviving" can help us inspire each other sometimes. (((((Grace))))) hugs backatcha, deary!

Ana: Nice to "see" you, too. Haven't seen you for a while. I so appreciate the cheering on I get from you. YOU are beautiful, too!

Marie: So nice to "see" you again, too! Thanks for the kudos and your confidence. After the crazy dissociative day I've had, it's so nice to come here and see your support. Thank you!!

April: Thanks for the birthday wishes, dear friend. I'm glad I made you smile. Hey, you just made ME smile, too! :)
Happy Birthday! Sounds like you're doing awesome work in your healing.
Thank you and thank you Buffalopine!
It sounds as if you are making some huge strides with these double sessions... and with your son stitching you up as soon as you are done, you are getting the best chaser to therapy ever! The smile of a child might be the best medicine ever :)
Lisa Marie: I never thought of a therapy "chaser" before! That made me smile, too. Thanks! :)
sounds like a wonderful week and a wonderful return time~ i'm so glad you were able to give that time to yourself. that you got so much out of it, and have such a loving environment to return to~

wishing you all the best for your upcoming memory work.

meanwhile, happy birthday!!!! :)
I'm climbing right along side you!
I hope your birthday is a good one!
Mama: I am so grateful for my loving environment to return to. I told my husband and my son on my birthday that they are my greatest gifts, and they are. Thank you for your birthday wishes.

Susan: Thanks for your support and for stopping by with your kind comment.
My dear one, happy belated birthday! This post is encouraging.

Much hugs and blessings as always to a special individual.... ♥
Hope all is well for you!
JBR & Erin: Thanks. Hope all is well with both of you as well.
How is life treating you over there in Colorado my friend?
Well, my dear Jade, I think I'll put up a quick post about it.
Wow! 4.5 hours! That is a marathon. There is a balance to be aware of here, as I'm sure you know. As long as you have your reasons clear for all the extra therapy and keep all that in mind.
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