November 05, 2009
In addition, this time focused on my healing gave me the push I needed to admit I needed something to help me sleep. I was starting to feel very run down from lack of sleep and poor sleep with nightmares, etc. So I went into the doctor and got a prescription for Trazadone. It's helping me a lot! I hope I won't have to be on it long, but I'm glad it's there for support when I need to be at least a notch above zombie level.
Now that I'm back, things are mixed, as life always is. Today I'm home with a sick kid (again!). But, I missed my son after being away for a five days and I'm glad to spend more time with him. When he's sick is about the only time that he really lets me snuggle him and love on him anymore. He acts like he's already 15 or something! LOL ;)
The biggest thing I'm excited about at this very moment is the fact that I rebooted my computer and ran some scans on it and then got Firefox working on it again. Hooray! It's the first time I've been able to use Firefox on my computer for about a month! So, I'm able to do this new blog post easily, and maybe I'll get around to some other blogs today.
I'm feeling a little anxious about my birthday this weekend. But, I've been very assertive and have asked for exactly what I want for my birthday. We're going to a brunch on Sunday, as a family, assuming we're all healthy. Then, in the evening, my husband got us the tickets I wanted for a live comedy show. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine sometimes.
My son provides some comic relief for me quite often. He's such a little card! I'm continuing some extra therapy right now. After a tough session yesterday afternoon, I picked him up from school with tears still in my eyes. It wasn't long, however, before he had me in stitches with some silly story he was telling in his animated way. I love him so much! I'm so glad that I was able to have a child and we've been able to keep him safe...and he knows how much he's loved.
As for my inner children, I'm continuing to do double therapy weeks until further notice. I'm on the verge of uncovering some issues that need to be processed from the two-year black hole I have always had in my childhood memories. I can remember so much from Kindergarten--and then again from third grade, but I virtually remember nothing about first grade and completely nothing about second grade. I can't even say I remember my teacher, what the classroom looked like or anything. Let alone what happened with me personally. So, I'm standing on a scary precipice. But, I just keep climbing. All you survivors out there: Let's just keep climbing!
What do you do to care for yourself after tough sessions or after a double session week?
Thank you for commenting on my blog. You actually put a word to something thats been driving me crazy all day. You mentioned a "flood" after EMDR. I'm feeling it. My mind is continually wanting to process. It has been very tiring. Especially since I had clients of my own today.
But thank you for the warning. At least I wasn't shocked when I woke up feeling emotionally exhausted.
Hugs to you my friend (((Marj)) Stay strong and dont forget to smile! :-)
Hi, Jade! Well, last night, my husband helped me fix a very easy dinner and then I put on my fleecy lounge pants and slipper socks. I snuggled on the couch with a warm, cozy blanket and my son, with the dog at our feet. And we watched a few comedy shows. I hope you are doing what you can to comfort and rest. EMDR is hard work!
Children full of love and laughter are such a blessing! (even when they aren't so little anymore)
Happy Birthday (early) Good for you for being assertive about what you want....I hope that you have a special day!
I just started this whole twitter thing, and I see you do it, so I am off to go follow you :)
thanks. I really am happy for you and hope to follow some of your advice...I need to.
I sure hope your birthday goes exactly the way you have planned it.
I must tell you, you still inspire me. Thank you for your comment on my blog. I appreicate all the tips I can get!!!!
GO Marj GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can do it!
You can, you can, you can...
You are beautiful!
I am so proud of you for making your healing a priority! Good for you!
- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
Mile: So nice to "see" you. You're welcome and thank YOU. I sure don't feel inspiring sometimes, but I guess we can all inspire others by facing our struggles and soldiering on.
Sarah: Thanks for that nice birthday wish...and the part about me deserving it. I have to remind myself of that sometimes.
Grace: Thanks for what you've said here. I think just our "survivor surviving" can help us inspire each other sometimes. (((((Grace))))) hugs backatcha, deary!
Ana: Nice to "see" you, too. Haven't seen you for a while. I so appreciate the cheering on I get from you. YOU are beautiful, too!
Marie: So nice to "see" you again, too! Thanks for the kudos and your confidence. After the crazy dissociative day I've had, it's so nice to come here and see your support. Thank you!!
April: Thanks for the birthday wishes, dear friend. I'm glad I made you smile. Hey, you just made ME smile, too! :)
wishing you all the best for your upcoming memory work.
meanwhile, happy birthday!!!! :)
Susan: Thanks for your support and for stopping by with your kind comment.
Much hugs and blessings as always to a special individual.... ♥