September 05, 2007
Thanks for Your Support!
Well, I've been back from the hospital for a number of days now. I still haven't switched over my calendar from August to September. I feel somewhat better, but I don't think the two new meds they put me on have totally kicked in yet. Things are going slowly.
I'm just trying to take the days step by step and do my best to take care of myself.
I was attempting to comfort myself and my parts the other day. I had noticed, earlier in the day, that someone who had been very kind to me over the phone brought on a crying jag in me. I was wondering about that later and thought, "It's almost as if I don't want to be soothed or comforted. It's almost as if it hurts me. It feels painful." As soon as that thought was out, I heard a part--I think her name is Sarah and she's between six and eight years old. Sarah said, "You're only teasing me. It's just a trick. You'll only hurt me later."
That just broke my heart to hear that coming from such a young child part. Her words spoke volumes.
Blog Carnival Update: When I delayed the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, August edition, I had to stick in a new date and just randomly chose September 14. That's a week from Friday. I'll have to check with Lisa at Sadly Normal and make sure she's okay with that post date.
I want to thank all of you for your e-mails and kind comments during my recent set-back. Your kindness and support mean more to me than you'll ever know or I could ever express in words. Thank you!
I'll be trying my best to get around to some blogs and return some e-mails in the next few days. I miss you guys!
I'm just trying to take the days step by step and do my best to take care of myself.
I was attempting to comfort myself and my parts the other day. I had noticed, earlier in the day, that someone who had been very kind to me over the phone brought on a crying jag in me. I was wondering about that later and thought, "It's almost as if I don't want to be soothed or comforted. It's almost as if it hurts me. It feels painful." As soon as that thought was out, I heard a part--I think her name is Sarah and she's between six and eight years old. Sarah said, "You're only teasing me. It's just a trick. You'll only hurt me later."
That just broke my heart to hear that coming from such a young child part. Her words spoke volumes.
Blog Carnival Update: When I delayed the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, August edition, I had to stick in a new date and just randomly chose September 14. That's a week from Friday. I'll have to check with Lisa at Sadly Normal and make sure she's okay with that post date.
I want to thank all of you for your e-mails and kind comments during my recent set-back. Your kindness and support mean more to me than you'll ever know or I could ever express in words. Thank you!
I'll be trying my best to get around to some blogs and return some e-mails in the next few days. I miss you guys!
Labels: blog carnivals, comfort, self-care, support
Comments:
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Dear Marj
Welcome back !!!!! We missed you and are very happy to see you back again!!
Feel free to call or write if you are so inclined.
peace and blessings
keepers
Welcome back !!!!! We missed you and are very happy to see you back again!!
Feel free to call or write if you are so inclined.
peace and blessings
keepers
# posted by 
: September 05, 2007 9:01 PM
: September 05, 2007 9:01 PM
I'm a bit slow myself these days. Didn't realize you'd started posting again.
I missed you...we need you as part of our blogging community.
I like your insight about your young part who thought she was being teased when someone is nice to her. I don't like comfort or soothing either. Hmmm.
I missed you...we need you as part of our blogging community.
I like your insight about your young part who thought she was being teased when someone is nice to her. I don't like comfort or soothing either. Hmmm.
I just discovered your blog, and don't know if you know about 12 steps programs, it's of great help !
# posted by : September 07, 2007 5:20 AM
: September 07, 2007 5:20 AM
Beauty: thanks for your comment about missing me and me being part of the blogging community--that means a lot!
Yeah, I never really thought about comfort as being perceived as "painful" before. It's a huge concept I'll be working on in therapy.
Yeah, I never really thought about comfort as being perceived as "painful" before. It's a huge concept I'll be working on in therapy.
anonymous: thanks for your visit and your comment. Yes, I almost married an alcoholic and I attended al-anon for a while. I'm also aware of incest survivors anonymous. Right now I'm trying to get into a group that is run by an area expert in dissociative disorders--I think it may be a bit more right-on-target for me.
Welcome back, so so sorry to hear you were struggling with that issue. I am glad you got the help you needed at the time. dealing with your past is hard work and you continue to be an inspiration to me as I watch you tackle it head on despite the pain it is causing while you work through it. it is very easy to put it away on the back shelf and only deal with the immediate issues. While I know this is a cliche the pain you are going through at the moment will be worth it in the long run when you can look at your life in a different way and the past doesn't affect everything
S'onnie--thanks for your insights and for saying I'm an inspiration. Boy, I sure don't feel like I could possibly sometimes--you made my day! :)
Wanda: thanks for the safe hugs--right back at ya!
Wanda: thanks for the safe hugs--right back at ya!
I'm glad to see you feeling better and home again. Take care! It is an especially difficult skill for those of us not taken care of properly as children!
Glad to see that you are on your way to feeling better. I hope that this is not too invasive of a question but I was wondering what medication you are now taking and if it is working well, also if there was any medication that you would suggest staying clear of. My husband has been diagnosed with PTSD and I have been trying to see what medications out there have helped other survivors. Do not feel like you have to answer this question if you feel uncomfortable. I appreciate you making this blog available to the public. It has started a support network for fellow survivors and their relatives. -God Bless
# posted by : September 12, 2007 11:27 AM
: September 12, 2007 11:27 AM
I feel uncomfortable giving general medical advice because I'm not a medical doctor. All I can say is what has worked for me. I was on Zoloft for years, with great success, for depression. I was just on Omega 3 fish oil capsules for over three years, but decided I needed something stronger for this really deep trauma work.
I have never felt very good on anything that's like a tranquilizer. However, I know folks who have high anxiety with the flashbacks, etc. that come with PTSD, and have found relief from them. They just pretty much knock me out. I have better luck with some EFT/TFT techniques and visualizations to feel safe.
I'll keep everybody posted about the new meds I'm on, once I start feeling a real difference with them.
Best wishes and healing to you, anonymous, and your husband. Thanks for the visit and the comment.
I have never felt very good on anything that's like a tranquilizer. However, I know folks who have high anxiety with the flashbacks, etc. that come with PTSD, and have found relief from them. They just pretty much knock me out. I have better luck with some EFT/TFT techniques and visualizations to feel safe.
I'll keep everybody posted about the new meds I'm on, once I start feeling a real difference with them.
Best wishes and healing to you, anonymous, and your husband. Thanks for the visit and the comment.
I hope you are continuing to improve. I know that setbacks can be frustrating but they seem to be a part of life we must endure.
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