July 19, 2007
Can I Re-parent My Wounded Children?
When another woman in the Dallas group started sobbing, the facilitator left me hanging, pulled her chair in real close to her and said--almost word-for-word--what I had asked for, to the other woman instead! I guess, as with my mother, I was asking for something from someone who I knew couldn't give me what I needed.
That's probably why I get so excited about awards that other bloggers just blow off--I'm still so desperate for approval.
I've decided I really need to up my efforts at re-parenting my wounded inner child parts. I'm sure I never bonded or had healthy attachment with my birth "mother." (My twin and I were an unwanted pregnancy that was discovered after my mother had already attempted to leave my father. We were huge twins--over eight pounds apiece. And when some gushing passer-by would enthusiastically ask, "What's it like to have twins?" my mother would always reply, "I wouldn't wish it on anybody." Thanks, dear old Mom!) I certainly never got her protection, support or approval. I need to quit chasing that fantasy and mother myself(ves).
There's lots of stuff I'm working on in my therapy, but right now I want to share a poem I wrote. I call my parts "my beautifuls." That's the name of the poem. I hope some of the sentiments in the poem might carry over to your parts, alters, or inner children in a comforting way.
Dears, I want you to know this
To know I'm glad you came around
For a while I was unsure and afraid
But, now I know that our reasons were sound
When I first got to know you
I wanted to just turn away
I saw you alone with such deep pain
Then I knew that I needed to stay
So, now we've got to feel this
All the pain that we used to shove down
We'll swim through dark waters together
No, I won't let one of us drown
I want to hold you
Rock you in my arms
And tell you that you're beautiful
I want to soothe you
Comfort and love you
The way that you so deserve
I'll always love you
The way that a parent
Should cherish their child
My sweet beautifuls.
Copyright 2007 Marj McCabe~All Rights Reserved
April: I'm glad these techniques have worked well for you and I hope they workk for me, too!
Truly a beautiful poem. Nurturing and accepting our littles is probably one of the harder things for a multiple to do, at least for us it was. we think JM accepted them before we did!
Thank you for sharing!!
peace and blessings
that poem as beautiful beyond words. and Im going to second Dr. Deb.. you can do this!
thinking of you
the line I like the most is where you said you wouldn't let one of us drown. I really like this poem.
Enola: You've got a great idea there, absolutely! ;)
You poem shows how much you have started to reach out and thats a hard thing to do, accept there are others inside and the reasons they are there. Thanks for directing me over here im a blog slacker in responding ot blogs, never sure what to say.
Memoryartist: "It is about being immersed and yet, still able to care for your wounded selves along the way." -- good point! Thanks for visiting and leaving your insightful comment!
MICKY - I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD - michael-micky.blogspot.com
PEACE BE WITH YOU
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