August 25, 2006
Loose Ends: Links & Secrets
I'm going to make my final decisions about the secret-sharing space and try to get something out there in cyberland by Monday. So, I'll give you the link then, if Blogger let's me. I really appreciate all the feedback I got about the idea, both on comments and via e-mail. Some common elements in the feedback included the words empowering, freeing and release.
Another common element was the idea of secret-sharing being cleansing. One commenter talked of sharing secrets as having the ability to "cleanse and help heal deep infected wounds." Others think of secret sharing as a way to take a load off, emotionally speaking. One commenter described the process as to, "shed the weight of guilt and shame."
Everyone seems to agree that the space needs to feel safe. One commenter went so far as to say it should be "sacred." I agree that this is the feel I would want.
Logistically, how do I go about setting it up to accomplish these goals? I thought about doing it as a blog carnival (and one commenter suggested just that). But, I don't want the constraints of a lot of deadlines and submission forms. I also think going through Blog Carnival might take some of the safety factor away. Message boards were mentioned. Quite frankly, I don't have the time and energy to moderate a full-fledged forum or board. This is a huge undertaking that I'm not geared up to handle at this time.
I think I'm leaning toward setting this up something like Poetry Thursday. Here, a group of bloggers gets together and posts poems on their blogs around a certain theme each Thursday. When their poem is posted, they comment on the Poetry Thursday blogspot and let everyone know they've got it up (kinda like a meme).
One commenter made the elegant suggestion that our secret-sharing space could be an either/or choice of posting anonymously or not. I really like the idea of at least giving bloggers the option of "coming out of the closet" and revealing their identity, if they so choose. This goes along with stopping the silence and erasing shame and stigma. I understand, however, that some may want to share, but are not ready to attach their name to the secret revealed.
So, what I'm thinking of is a kind of hybrid of a Poetry Thursday or meme-type posting. For those who want to be linked and identified, they can simply comment that their secret is posted at their blog. This will be especially handy for bloggers who have long secrets, using a lot of words. For those who want to be anonymous, they can simply select "anonymous" on the Blogger comment form.
To ensure further safety, I will keep comment moderation activated at all times, of course. As with my regular blog's comments, no spam or attacking commenters can get through my approval process. Also as with my regular blog, I'll set this up so that commenters can make comments on other poster's secrets shared in a supportive-only manner. Kudos, congratulations, comfort, compassion and "way-to-go's" will be allowed. Heated debates and unsolicited advice will not be permitted. We want this to be a safe, sacred secret-sharing environment.
Any other last-minute input before I put this in place? Do y'all still think this is a good idea? Just to help soothe over the "starting-to-share" jitters, I would start the posting off with another one of my own secrets. Okay. Deep breath everyone; we're going to do this!
I didn't know how to email you, so I'm leaving a comment instead, although I'm having a hard time formulating my words. I just read your survivor accounts on your main webpage while searching for survivor resources for a post I'm writing as my return to the v/blogosphere. And I'm just sort of stunned that you've come so far. I mean that in the best way possible. Right now, I guess I don't even know what else to say, but I have such intense admiration and respect for your work with survivors, being one yourself, and I'm always so encouraged and amazed by women who can tell their stories. I only recently told mine, fully, for the first time in therapy, and that alone was such an enormous weight to have lifted...well, I just think you're so fucking cool. I don't have any other way to say it today. Thanks for totally kicking ass and making a space for others who are healing as well. Your story is a triumph, and I'm so appreciative of your openness and so excited by where you are today. Going to stop gushing now and go to a queer BBQ and process with some allies, but I hope this finds you well. Thank you for helping others as you help yourself. That is priceless.
PS: I'll be heading over to your blogs to see what you're up to. Kudos on the T sharing--always tough, always a great accomplishment! Blessings and best wishes to you.
I like the idea of sharing instead of confessing. Sounds much better.
Poetry Thursday sounds great. Kinda like the cat carnival or friday's ark. they are both weekly sites with contributors from all over.
I think that this sounds like an awesome idea. If you need help with anything let me know. Id be more then happy to help you with anything. I linked you on my sidebar also.. hope you dont mind either.
Jennifer: Thanks for visiting. I'll be over to see what you've got to say on the subject (may be after tomorrow, after I get this new site set up). Thanks for the comment.
I checked out the "tellsecrets" blog...don't like it, not one bit! Something feels very "off" to me there. There doesn't appear to b any explanation of how to have a post put up there, and the posts all seem to be in the same "voice". Maybe it's just me...got a creapy feeling there. :P
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