August 07, 2010


Slam! A Set-Back

Damn! I've slammed right into the rough surface of a set-back. And it really feels like crap!

I got very traumatized at the dentist last week. It makes me so mad! This dentist was specifically recommended to me as someone who worked well with trauma survivors and patients with extreme dental fear. And I've been so assertive, stating exactly what I would need in order to feel safe enough to get my dental work done there.

This time, the dental assistant is very nice, compassionate and accommodating. I talk a bit about the dental assistant witch I had to endure at my last dentist's office in this post here. But, this new woman is helpful. She even found me some sunglasses to wear during the procedures so that the light in my eyes doesn't trigger me so much. The dentist himself, on the other hand, just doesn't care.

Ah, shit! I feel very dissociated writing this post (the last few days has been the most dissociated I've been after a trigger in about two years). I guess I'll have to come back and write the rest of this later.

Talk about dentists! I am truly sorry. Thinking of you. Love to you
What a terrible disappointment.Hope it passes son.x
Oh Marj, I am so sorry. I am sure many of us can relate to dental phobia. I know I can. My teeth are in horrible shape because of it. I was fortunate to find a dentist who is very kind, his staff is great too...they are out there.

I am really sorry that you had that experience. It isn't fair and it stinks.
I hate going to the dentist even though mine is really nice. And I feel bad for you....feeling like crap b/c of this experience. Hang tight ok....and know this...we all care a whole lot about you...
I'm sorry to hear this girly. I went through a similar situation myself last week at the DDS.
Its good to see that you're stepping out a little by posting this. I hope you're able to find peace soon. And remember, you showed a lot of strength in the face of a very anxietyprovoking situation. You made the DDS appointment and you went to it. That shows a lot of strength.

You're in my thoughts my friend.
That's really tough. I feel for you. I found a fantastic dentist who was very understanding and willing to work with me. No sooner did I find him than he moved. I don't like the replacement I got. That one guy was a real gem.

I hope you can find a new that really IS good with survivors.
Marj I AM SO VERY SORRY!! Just reading your post gets me angry and I can sense your fear. I am not keen on self care for myself, especially from a DDS. ((((Marj)))) Here with you and comforting you in the bloggy world!!
I'm so sorry for your dental experiences. I so can relate! Last year I had many hours of dental work that required multiple visits and I remember feeling panicked and dissociative.
Offering safe gentle hugs if you would like them.
Leslie: Thank you so much for your kind support and understanding. I'm glad you found a good dentist and it gives me hope to know that they ARE out there.

Sarah: I DO feel very cared about, thank you! I need that because after I left the dentist's office that's what was worse than the pain--feeling like nobody cared. Thanks, sweetie!

Jade: Oh, my dear friend, I'm so sorry you had a similar experience. It sucks, no? Yeah, I was proud of myself that I finally got in there after three years of avoiding it, but now I need another crown and don't know how I'll go through with it. Pooey!

OneSurvivor: Nice to "see" you back here again. Thanks for leaving your supportive comment. I'm sorry you lost the "gem" dentist. That sucks. I hope another gem comes your way.

JBR: Thanks for that empathy and bloggy comfort. It is so needed and appreciated.

Grace: How wonderful to "see" you! Thanks for your compassionate, supportive comment. And yes, I do want and appreciate those safe cyber hugs. Backatcha! ((((((((Gracie))))))))
Ooops! I got behind while I was all dissociated and discombobulated!

Paula: Thanks for your love and kind thoughts. I appreciate you!

Von: You're right: it WAS a disappointment. Thanks for your support.
hi marj~ i'm so sorry the dentist turned out to be insensitive! and that you're feeling triggered :( i can relate to having trouble feeling safe with doctors and dentists and have had experience with trying to find health care people i feel safe with. and you already know in my case i wasn't even abused overtly and yet i still have had these issues. which makes me wonder how many people have trouble getting the care they need. it's been very important to me to find people i feel safe with, and part of that has been trying to only work with female doctors and dentists, but sometimes there just aren't females in the roles you need, or they aren't sensitive either. i think there should be a whole field of medicine teaching people in healing professions how to be sensitive to survivors, a license even. LTCS (licensed trauma care specialist) could be just one more label after their names. and then we would know who to go to and who not to by just looking at the list of names in the phone book :)
I feel ya sister. I actually had to go in for a crown prep myself. Aug 30th I have to get myself to go in to actually have the perminent put on. The prep was hard enough. But!!! We are strong women, on the right path and we can do this. We just have to try to talk about it as much as we can, try not to supress the feelings that come with the experience and keep on keepin on.
Hugs my friend xxx
Katie: Thanks for the idea. Actually, I did this with this guy. When I went in three years ago and got fitted for the mouth guard, he was very good at remembering all of my special needs. I was surprised this happened. I like your LTC idea!

Jade: Thanks for the encouragement. You are right! *hugs* backatcha!
Thanks for those hugs, Cassie. Nice to "see" you, deary.
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