October 26, 2007


Welcome to the October Edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

Hey, everybody! We're back to the carnival. Hopefully, we'll be "on the road" again next month, with another guest host. For now, I just wanted to get something up quickly after a two-month hiatus. Thanks to everyone for being so "Johnny-on-the-spot" with responding.

Actually, we've got some great quality here, and we're not too shabby on quantity either. I even got a few posts that came under my request for articles about fear and overcoming fears. Yay, us!

So...here we go! Please use these links and comment, supporting our brave, sharing carnival participants.

Recognizing, Facing & Overcoming Fears

Our first participant is a regular: April Optimist at Thriver's Toolbox. Her post is, indeed, entitled "Overcoming Fear." April, as usual, has some smart ideas here and remarks, "I wrote this because so many things used to scare me and these are some of the tools that helped me get past my fear."

About her fear post, Enola says, "This isn't particularly about OVERCOMING fears, but it is about recognizing fears and triggers. I think recognizing WHY we have fears is the first step.

And I, myself, also wrote about fear in a poem I wrote for Survivors Can Thrive!, entitled, Facing Demons. The way this world works, we cannot vanquish our demons unless we actually face them. It can be scary as hell, but the payoff is increased healing.


When one looks at the aftermath wrought from childhood abuse, it's no wonder that abuse survivors must deal with the enormous issue of fear.

First, Rising Rainbow, who survived the ritual abuse of a cult, writes about overcoming Depression for her blog, My Clouds, My Storms & Multiple Personality Disorder.

Next, Austin, of The People Behind My Eyes, writes about the strategies, so to speak, of Weakness & Submission, used by abuse survivors. Austin says, "In this entry I try to come to an understanding of how I responded to the abuse and how my sister responded. We were total opposites with the same goal: survival. This is an entry of understanding. "

New to the carnival is Dr. Romeo Vitelli, who writes a blog called Providentia. Welcome! This article is about the concept of "wild children" and developmental delays associated with child abuse. I sense he feels for abused and neglected children when he comments, "Some damage never heals... "

Survivor Stories

Patricia Singleton has written a series of articles entitled, Incest May be a Part of My Life, at her blog called, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker. I really like the name of Patricia's blog. I believe the healing journey is, indeed, a spiritual journey. Many of us are trying to reclaim our souls from the abusers who attempted to murder them. Patricia herself remarks, "Warning: Reading the following series may be injurious to your peace of mind. They are intended to be. Without knowledge, we cannot prevent child abuse from happening. Go beyond this point at your own risk. Join me for the painful, frightening, emotional, freeing journey. "

We welcome Cerebral Mum as she bravely shares some of her story in the post, Imagine If. She says that her "history is history", but also says, "Tonight I remember the language of my childhood and I remember why I should never stop speaking. Shrinking yourself to an inoffensive nothing is not just self-harm. If we do that, who will speak for those unable to? Who will cry for those who cannot? Who will guide those who are drowning in their childhood to safety?"

Advocacy & Awareness

Here's an excellent article excerpted by The Memory Artist at Why Can't The Past Just Die? It's called Retraumatizing The Victim. The Memory Artist wants this article to receive more readership and remarks, "This post is an excerpt from an article entitled: "On Being Invisible in the Mental Health System" written by Ann Jennings Ph.D., in which she describes the ways in which the system often retraumatizes sexual abuse victims with its practices. Ann's daughter was a sexual abuse victim in early childhood, who despite years of mental health "treatment", went on to commit suicide at the age of 32."

A regular carnival contributor, Jumping in Puddles of the Life Spacings blog wants us to be aware of what we can and cannot necessarily assume when interacting with a survivor. Her post is entitled, "Do Not And Do Assume."

When I read Emily's post from Doing It All Again, I realized that characters in literature who are sexual abuse survivors are often not even recognized as such. Thanks, Emily, for giving this book's character survivor a voice! About Lolita, Emily remarks, "I read Lolita for the first time, as part of a book club. It was a difficult book to read for a survivor as the book is written without giving Lolita a voice. It was interesting to be able to give what I thought Lolita's voice would be back to my book group. My book review is pretty controversial, so be warned."

In The News

Annaleigh is another regular contributor and past edition host of the carnival. Her post from As Waters Passing By/Blessed Fearscapes discusses an appalling statistic about childhood sexual abuse, in "New statistic: One out of every four New Zealand women/girls are sexually abused." Annaleigh says about this knowledge: "When I read things like this, it just makes me want to work harder to do my part."

Anne-Marie Nichols returns from Teacher Smackdown to retell the news story, "Teacher Charles Hadley Arrested for Soliciting Sex from Teen in Online Chat Room."

We welcome Holly Ord from her blog, Menstrual Poetry. Holly lambastes the absurd and disgusting in, "7 Counts of Incest to Teach How to Be a Good Wife."


We've got two regular contributors sharing their poetry in this carnival. They are both excellent writers. First, there's Beauty from the Beautiful Dreamer blog. Beauty explains the motivation behind her poem as she remarks, "I wrote this poem as a means of giving my(selves) permission to take back the theft of my love of writing. My abuser scoffed at my passion every chance he got; I find it ironic that the very thing he used to disdain is now being used as a means of standing up for myself!" Her poem is entitled, Rough Draft.

Austin, of The People Behind My Eyes, returns with a powerful poem that raises awareness about the change that needs to occur when we blame the victim. Her poem is I Long For The Day and about it she remarks, "There use to be a time when it was okay that you hit me, that you hurt me. No one called you an abuser, but times have changed. There use to be and still is a the belief that the victim is somehow at fault. Those times need to change."

Healing & Therapy

Here's a hopeful, healing post by a regular contributor, Keepers of KeepersKorner. It is simply called, "Accentuating the Positive." I like the sound of that!

Megan at Imaginif Child Protection Became Serious Business is also a regular Carney and past edition host. Of her post, "Co and Counter Dependent Relationships: which one will your child choose?" Megan remarks, "'Mummy, when I grow up, I'm going to be just like you.' 'Then sweetie, it's really important that you know that Mummy grew a brain and changed bad relationships for good, healthy ones. Mummy doesn't want you to get hurt too.' Do your children know that the majority of relationships we model to them are not healthy?"

Finally, we have another regular contributor that we appreciate, Therapy Doc at Everyone Needs Therapy. In this post, she talks about the concept of Process in"Mr. Saturday Night." She remarks, "When someone has to take one for the team, it's usually the kid. It's not really child abuse. Or is it?"

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Okay, Blogger is still giving me "fits with fonts," but I'll get that fixed later. At least I think all the links work. Good reading everyone and thanks to all who participated!
Congratulations pulling it all back together Marj. This is such an important Carnival and it has got to stay consistent so we can raise consciousness faster. I think it's up to all of us to rally around and help whenever needed.

Do not hesitate to call on me for any help at any time Marj.

Stay safe everyone - today is the traditional and international date for Reclaim the Night (march against sexual violence). Marcella over at abyss2hope has made a rather groovy graphic for everyone to put on their posts. I've started a relay so that our own light march can move throughout the blogosphere.

Megan from Down Under.
There is some really great stuff here. I've read all of them now, and have some things to write about. This is the first carnival I have been a part of and I'll be trying to contribute again, as well as get the word out.

I think this carnival is great for survivors. I know when I first started dealing with my own history, I was voracious in my reading, trying to make sense of it all. It's great to be able to connect with so many voices. It's great to know that someone, somewhere, will find the voice that they need to hear.

Of course, it's good for other people as well. I think so much about child abuse is not understood and has been buried by the sensationalisation found in the media.

So thank you to all those who manage the carnival and all those who participate.
Hi Marj

Well done! Just to say my one didn't appear. If you still want to use it, you can.


Oh my God, Em! I meant to put your post in. I feel like such a veg-brain! I'll edit the carnival to include it. Goin' a little crazy, sorry. ;P
Megan: Your amazing advocacy and support is always appreciated! :)

Cerebralmum: Thanks for your wonderful insights and for joining us! Hope to see you participate in the future.
Thanks for including that post about verbal abuse.
I haven't read through all of them yet, but I will. It looks like a great list.
thanks for the carnival marja
Marj, thanks so much for the great job you did putting these links together. And thanks to everyone who wrote the posts included. Powerful stuff.
Hi Marj

TherapyDoc: And thank YOU for your wonderful participation!

Rising Rainbow: thanks for your support and commitment--I know some of these entries are not easy to read.

Thanks for being part of it, JIP!

Marcella: Thanks! That means a lot, coming from you :)

Em: glad I could squeeze it in. My Homestead e-mail is going whacky and I found some submissions in my junk mail box and now all my new mail is coming in as being received in August!!! how weird is that?! Aaarrrrggghh!
Hi Marjean,
Great Reading and Insight from all the posts...Take care
Holly Desimone
Marj, I was out of town for the weekend with a family emergency with my mother-in-law. She is better and we are back home. Thanks for including my article in this Carnival. It is so good to have you back. You were missed. I will spend time over the next week reading all of the articles.
Holly: thanks so much for stopping by.

Patricia: I hope your mother-in-law will be alright. I'm so glad you've joined us for the carnival.
As usual, great stuff here Marj
Thanks, Dr. Deb! :)
Marj, this is one of the best Carnivals that I have ever been in or read. All of the articles were great. I just finished reading the last one and feel that I have lots of new sisters in healing. Thanks for the effort that you put into making this work.
Thank you, for thanking me, Patricia! I'm so glad you think it's a quality carnival & also that the connection is good for you--I think that's one of the things I like best about it myself.
JIP: I'm going to say the same thing I said in my comment on your blog: Unless you decide to just go off and hurt me on purpose--which you've never done and I don't think any of you will do--you don't have to ever apologize to me. I understand totally. Thinking of you.
saying thanks for caring and sending safe hugs
JIP: you're so welcome, sweetie! And sending safe hugs right back at ya!
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